Page 19 of Alpha Mates

I hate to admit it when the thought of doing anything with Julian repulses me, but it’s the only option.

Julian raises a single, golden brow. “You do understand that means we’ll have to mate.”

I take another swig. “Were you planning on rejecting me?”

“No,” he answers quickly.Soquickly.

“Then that’s the only option we have,” I reply, trying not to focus on the logistics at the moment.

“But I’m not gay!” he blurts, and it’d be hilarious if we weren’t currently trying to navigate hell. “I don’t like men, and I definitely don’t like you.”

“Neither do I!” I snap back. “You think I want to be mated to a guy? Especially the one I’ve hated for literally my entire life? I don’t! But this is the shit hand we’ve been dealt, and unless you plan to fuck over both our packs, we’ll have to live with it.”

Julian’s jaw ticks. His throat works, and my thoughts derail for one horrible moment as my focus catches on the line of his slender neck. I close my eyes and take another burning mouthful of liquor.

I drink until there’s nothing left and only then set the bottle down to face Julian, who is stone still, expression sharp enough to cut. Thankfully, it’s a look I’m familiar with, and right now, I need any sense of normalcy I can get.

“Look, neither of us wants this, so while we try to work this out, do you think you can be—” I pause, searching for the words. “I don’t know, a little less childish for once? Are you capable of that?”

Julian’s glare threatens to set me on fire before I can dump myself back into my chair. He can seethe all he wants. We have to work through this together, and he knows it.

Julian exhales slowly as he rubs at his brows. Back and forth, his fingers move between breaths until he’s completed his little ritual.

“If we’re really going to do this,” he says warily, “we’ll need to get our packs on board as soon as possible. Make sure everyone understands andfeelslike one single pack.”

“Closing the distance between us will help.” I wait for him to offer some new retort, but surprisingly, he doesn’t. I carry on. “There’s vacant land between us. We can search it, clear it, and then claim it.”

“And join our packs,” he mutters, shaking his head with a dry laugh. His eyes find mine again. “We’ll be two alphas ruling one pack. Can your ego handle that?”

“Why are you so desperate to pick a fight?” My claws tear into the leather arm rests beneath me as I sit up. “I’m looking for solutions, but you clearly don’t want them.”

“Because I don’t want you!” he shouts back at me, and I crumble in a heartbeat.

His words cut deep the way they were meant to, searing an unforgiving burn into my heart that refuses to cool. Looking him in the eyes is suddenly impossible.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he mutters, shoulders slumping. “It’s just …” He sighs, carding frustrated fingers through his long hair. “I’ve dreamt of my mate for longer than you can imagine, and you were never in the picture.”

I swallow past the illogical pain that causes. “You weren’t in mine either.” And wasn’t that the truth. “What mates are supposed to have, I don’t see ever happening between us.”

“This will be the only time I ever say this,” Julian warns, “but you’re right.”

If it weren’t so fucking sad, I’d laugh. But the truth is, whether we’re Goddess’s intended mates, or a horrible result of a long-forgotten curse, Julian and I would never be together like other mates. Any hope of a mate, a proper loving mate, went out the window the minute I realised who I’d been paired with.

“We’ll do it for our packs,” he says with sudden acceptance. I force myself to nod as I meet his eyes. “We’ll be mates in name, alphas in position, and eventually, we will learn to live with …this.”

“I can do that.” In truth, I don’t think I can when just being near him like this drove me out of my mind, but there’s no other choice.

“What about the living arrangements?” he hazards, and I have to fight a groan.

“I didn’t even think about that,” I admit, dragging a hand down my face.

Julian’s lips part, but he shuts them quickly, thinking better of whatever insult he’d been about to hurl.

“It won’t look good if we’re in different homes, so I guess we can split our time between our lands?” I fail to hide my disgust at the prospect of living with him, but he doesn’t bother hiding his, so I don’t feel bad about it. “I’ve alreadymoved into my apartment, so we can go there for now.”

“Okay,” he agrees with surprising ease, but then again, he looks a little dazed as this all starts to settle in. “I’ll find you later. I need to think about all of this.”

I’m desperate for a reprieve away from him and can’t get away fast enough, but after a single step, my gaze returns to his golden head—to his tightly interlocked fingers. I’ve never seen Julian stressed, and with the bond flaring between us, it’sunpleasantto witness. The urge to comfort him rises hard and fast, but I force it down just as quickly. Just because I felt it, didn’t mean I had to give in.