Page 244 of Alpha Mates

He jolts, gasping as if he’s just surfaced from underwater. His eyes dart around the room like he doesn’t know where he is. His fingers almost slip from mine, but I don’t let go. His gaze settles on me, on our hands, and then he breathes—finally.

“Oh, sorry,” he stammers to the waiter. “Um, yeah. Can I get the …”

The rest fades. He speaks like nothing happened, like he didn’t just vanish in front of my eyes—like he’s fine.

But he isn’t. Julian didn’tzone out.

It’s not something his hyper-aware consciousness is capable of, but he’s been doing it a lot lately. A little at first, enough that I told myself I’d imagined it. But not like this. It’s never made fear claw its way up my ribs and sit heavy in my chest.

I knew something was off but I kept thinking it was me, or maybe us. I figured he just needed more time.Wejust needed more time. And sure, it wasn’t perfect, but we were getting there, bit by bit. Except now I can’t lie to myself anymore.

Something’s wrong with my mate.

I still can’t feel Alex,Max says, his voice gruff with worry that quickly becomes my own as he paces.I want to speak to him. You said Julianneeded time, and he’s gotten it. He’s clearly happy with you, so it must be Alex.

My heart drops at that. If it was Alex, then Goddess help us. Trouble with our wolves never meant anything good.

I want to speak to him,Max demands, trying to take control.Now, Aiden!

No. Not now.I cling onto control, forcing my grip on Julian’s hand to stay gentle.Not here.

Aiden!

I’m not doing this here, Maximus!I growl, begging him to be calm.If itisAlex, then it won’t be any good forcing him forward if he doesn’t want to talk. You said it yourself—Julian’s happy with me, so let me talk to him first. Tonight, when we’re back.

Max shifts, his anger radiating through me until it feels like my own before he reluctantly relents,Tonight, Aiden. Tonight.

Tonight.

“Aiden?”

Across the table, Julian blinks at me, head tilted like a confused pup. The emptiness in his eyes is gone, and it’s like nothing happened, like he’s fine. But I know it’s not true.

My chest clenches, but I ignore it as I smile for him. “Sorry, I zoned out thinking about this hot fucking alpha I’m mated to.”

Julian rolls his eyes, but it does the job. The corners of his mouth twitch up, spreading into one of the bright things he only gives to me. I let myself enjoy it for now.

Dinner rolls past us too quickly. I don’t get enough time to fully savour Julian’s cherry cheeks and easy smiles. Goddess, I love his smiles—when they get big enough, they pinch his cheeks up, and he gets these little wrinkles at the corner of his eyes.

Sometimes when I look at him, it feels like we’re different people, like we’re not both trying to hold on to each other in the middle of the never-ending shitstorm we were born into. And for a little while, in the sanctuary of Julian’s eyes, we’re not two alphas but two guys on a date that one of them prays will never end. But since Goddess had never answered my prayers, I don’t expect her to start now.

“That was nice, right?” I ask, holding the door for Julian.

“Nice? That was great!” Julian shouts into the night sky as he steps onto the sidewalk.

It earns us a few looks, but he doesn’t care. I loop an arm through his to keep him close, and he giggles.

“What’s up with you? You’re not even drunk,” I snort.

He just grins and bolts.

I chase him down the sidewalk, laughing, catching up before he grabs hold of a lamppost and swings himself around.

“Trying out the stripper biz?” I call.

“Maybe,” he says, shimmying up the pole. “I already know my stage name—” Eyes finding mine, Julian spreads his legs for his drop. “Jewels.”

“What the fuck?” I cackle, clutching my stomach. “Julian,” I wheeze as I double over, “What. The. Fuck.”