Page 31

Shane

C harlie sleeps for most of the day, only waking a few times when he’s in pain. I help him take more pain meds and adjust his position so he’s more comfortable, then watch him fall back asleep.

A little after six Lily arrives with her arms full of Walgreens bags and unloads them on my dresser. She lines up more pain medicine, three more ice packs, a four-pack of Red Bull, a box of Froot Loops, and a plush knight in gold armor holding a black shield with a green clover in the center with GU in gold on it.

She brings the plush over to where Charlie is tucked into my side and places it on the nightstand closest to him.

“How’s he doing,” she whispers, tucking his hair behind his ear.

She lets out a gasp at the bright red skin surrounding the cut at the top of his forehead. She ghosts her fingers over the butterfly bandages before pulling away and covering her heart with her hands.

“He’s been going in and out of sleep all day,” I say softly. “He’s hurting pretty bad when he’s awake, so I’ve been making him take pain pills and move around a little, so he doesn’t get stiff.”

Charlie stirs but doesn’t wake up. He moves away from me and turns his head towards Lily. At the sight of his dark purple swollen eye, Lily covers her mouth with shaking fingers. A tear slips down her cheek before she turns and rushes out of my room.

I adjust the ice packs that slipped when Charlie and slowly slide out of bed. I look back at him, making sure he’s still asleep before walking out of my room, shutting my door behind me.

I find Lily standing by the glass sliding doors. I walk up next to her and look out at the dark sky. She sniffs before I see her reflection wipe at her cheeks.

“When I first met Charlie, we were these tiny freshmen in a huge high school that only cared about how much money your family had. He was easily one of the richest kids in the school but because he looked different from Benji and was quiet, everyone thought something was wrong with him, making him an easy target. Benji was actually a decent guy back then and would stand up for Charlie. But then something happened during junior year over Christmas break. I was at their house two days before I left and all was normal, I even got a small laugh out of him. But when I came home after the new year, he wouldn’t answer his phone. I went to their house, but his mom told me he was sick and that I would see him when school resumed. I called him a few more times over the next couple of days, but he never answered.

“When school started up again, I waited for him at his locker like I always did. But he never showed up. I searched all his usual hiding spots but still couldn’t find him, so I decided to find Benji instead.”

“Let me guess,” I give her a pointed look, “you walked right up to him regardless of what anyone said and demanded he talk to you.”

She smiles. “Something like that. Like I said he was still somewhat of a tolerable guy, so he stepped away from his group to talk to me. When I asked about Charlie, he shrugged and said they rode together and that he hadn’t seen him since. He then tried to flirt with me.” She rolls her eyes. “I wanted to punch him so bad, so I walked away before I convinced myself it was the right move. Anyway, after searching what felt like the whole school, I finally found him in the art room.” She shakes her head.“I had glanced in the room at least twice but hadn’t stepped inside the room. I don’t even know why I went back. I just had this feeling that I’d find him.”

She lets out a slow breath as she looks back outside. “I didn’t see him initially but...” she pauses as a tear falls. “He was tucked into the corner on the floor rocking back and forth yanking on his hair. When I stepped closer, he stopped. I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t say anything. But then I…I put my hand on top of his and as soon as my skin touched his, he…he whimpered. He curled into a tighter ball, pulled his hair even more, and started saying, ‘no please don’t and I won’t do it again’, over and over. I had never seen him like that, and it scared the shit out of me.” She visibly swallows before looking back at me, her eyes wet with unshed tears.

“I didn’t know what to do so I sat as close as I could without touching him and just talked. I’m not sure how long it lasted until his body gave up and he fell asleep. When he woke up about an hour later, his eyes were bloodshot with purple bags under them. It looked like he hadn’t slept in days. When I asked him about the bruises on his hip and lower back that I saw when his shirt lifted, he wouldn’t look at me. I still don’t fully know what happened over that Christmas break. All I know is that he hasn’t been the same since and wants to get as far away from his parents as possible.” She purses her lips before continuing.

“His grandfather set up trust funds for him and Benji with the only stipulation being that they must graduate high school and college to receive it. They got a portion when they graduated high school and will get the rest once they graduate college. That’s why Charlie has next to nothing in his house. He pays for everything out of pocket and refuses to buy anything he sees as a waste of money…like food.”

I’m facing her by the time she’s finished. “He doesn’t get any help from his parents? I feel like Benji does nothing but talk about how much money he has. Plus, he’s living in one of the biggest houses right off campus.”

She shakes her head sadly. “Unfortunately, Charlie is seen as the black sheep of his family. He told me the house crew treats him more like their son than his parents ever have.”

“House crew?” I scrunch my brows in confusion.

She laughs at me. “You know the people who cook, clean, and take care of anything house related. You don’t have a house crew? I did my research, I know you come from money as well.”

“What the fuck?!” I can’t help but snort. “No, I don’t have a house crew, you stalker. My sisters and I helped our parents cook and clean.” I shake my head. “And aren’t they called housekeepers?”

“That explains all of the cooking,” she says under her breath. “And house crew just sounds better.” She shrugs. “But I’ve been trying to get Charlie to move in with me since the middle of freshmen year when his asshole of a brother decided he was going to treat Charlie like he didn’t exist anymore. But he said he didn’t want to lose out on all the added space his townhouse has for his art pieces.” She rolls her eyes while shaking her head. “I think he just prefers being alone. But he’s been scaring me lately and I don’t like not knowing if he’s ok.”

“I don’t think he’s okay, Lily,” I softly say turning away from her and looking at my bedroom door. “He’s been going through something for the last few months that’s taking a huge toll on him mentally…and now physically. I’ve tried talking to him to get him to open up about what’s going on in his head, but he won’t talk about it. He hasn’t had any good experiences with therapists in the past and I don’t want to cause him more stress by bringing up talking to one now. But I don’t know how much more he can take. I’m worried about him. I know he has a history of depression, but I don’t know how to help him.” The back of my eyes starts to sting. I clear my throat and look back at her. “I’m going to do everything I can to help him through this.”

She smiles sadly with a small nod.

Ryder opens the front door with a mischievous smile followed by a beaming Matt holding up white carry-out bags and a grumpy Asher trailing behind him.

“What’s up short stack,” Ryder calls out to Lily. She sticks out her tongue and flips up her middle finger at him.

I hear him chuckle as we head for the kitchen. I quietly open my door and check on Charlie, relieved when I see he’s still asleep.

I make my way into the kitchen as the guys are setting out the Chinese takeout. Lily, Matt, and Ryder are sitting at the island so I stand next to Ash as we fill our plates.

“I got Charlie the veggie spring rolls he likes and a small box of veggie chow mein.” Ryder pushes two white containers over the counter to me.

“Thanks. He’ll probably be hungry when he’s finally awake for more than two minutes.” I pull out a sharpie from the drawer, write a C on each container before placing them in the fridge.

“Lee texted me a little while ago with this picture.” Ryder holds his phone up to show me.

Two guys are standing next to Benji’s cherry-red Aston Martin with another guy sprawled out on the hood. There are car tools and oil stains on the cement floor.

“And the best part,” Matt says around a mouth full of fried rice, “is that Benji doesn’t even know it’s missing.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because he keeps posting to his stories. He’s at some club getting wasted, posting about it every ten minutes. I bet he won’t even notice it’s gone until tomorrow when he needs to get to warmups.” Matt laughs before shoving half of an eggroll into his mouth.

Ryder fills Lily in on our plan to have a “friendly” conversation with Benji. “And if he doesn’t want to talk, I’ll drop a subtle hint that I know where his car is.”

She lets out a laugh and they start talking about how annoying Benji is.

I pick at my food, not really having much of an appetite. Ash nudges my arm to get my attention.

‘Is he doing any better?’ he signs.

I shake my head sadly.

He pats me on the back. ‘He’ll be alright. I know it’s hard watching someone you love hurting but he’ll be better before you know it. Just keep taking care of him. You’re his safe place.’

“I will. Thanks, Ash.”

He nods then goes back to eating.

After we finish eating, Lily promises to be here at ten tomorrow morning before leaving followed by Matt and Ash. I head to my room after waving bye to everyone.

Ryder sticks his head in my room after I walk in and checks on Charlie. After replacing the warm ice packs with cold ones, he says good night and leaves.

I strip down to my boxer briefs and climb into bed. Rolling to my side, I scoot over until my chest is pressed against his warm arm. I gently run my fingers through his soft hair, wishing to see those gorgeous eyes again. I delicately trace over his left eyebrow, under his eye, down his nose, across his freckled spattered cheek, down his sharp jawbone, and over his chapped lips.

Leaning back, I grab my Chapstick out of my drawer. His warm breath hits my fingers as I apply some to his lips. As carefully as I can, I bend down and press my lips to his. They twitch under mine causing my head to snap up. His left eye is cracked open, looking up at me.

“Hey, baby. How are you feeling?”

“Hurts,” his raspy voice is just above a whisper.

“You can only take one more pain pill before you hit the limit for the day. Want to try getting something in your stomach other than water? Then you can have more meds and I’ll put on the other Avatar movie.”

He shakes his head slightly. “I’m not hungry. My ribs hurt. Can I please have the pain pills? Please?” His voice fades at the end.

The sadness on his face breaks my heart. I don’t want him in any more pain, but he’s already had three pills on an empty stomach and I know if he takes another dose without eating, it’ll make him sick.

“You need to eat something first baby. I can make whatever you want, or I can send Ryder out to pick something up for you. I don’t want you getting sick on top of being in so much pain.” I stoke my thumb lightly over his cheekbone. “We have spring rolls and chow mein, or maybe a grilled cheese with waffle fries from that sandwich shop down the street? Or I can order a pizza from Lorenzo and Elio?”

He looks defeated as he closes his eye. He keeps it closed for a few seconds before looking back up at me.

“Okay,” he whispers.

I softly smile down at him. “Okay to which one? Or do you want something else?”

“Um…the sandwich place is fine.”

“I’ll send Ryder right now.” I kiss the tip of his nose before rolling over and texting Ryder.

I pick up my controller and roll back to Charlie. He’s trying to sit up, but his arms are shaking. I quickly sit up and help him by pulling him up using his armpits. I stick a few pillows behind him and push one against his bruised ribs. He sucks in when I adjust it but relaxes against it once I have the pillow in place. I put the covered ice packs back on him followed by the blanket.

“Which movie do you want to watch?” I hold up my controller.

“We don’t have to watch Avatar. You pick.”

“You sure? I don’t mind watching blue aliens jump around and fight humans in alien bodies. It kind of gets intense towards the end,” I lightly chuckle, settling in against the headboard next to him.

He doesn’t laugh.

I think for a second before searching for Man of Steel, remembering he mentioned liking Henry Cavill in some witch TV show he watched. Once the movie starts, I thread my fingers through his and squeeze his hand. He slightly squeezes back but then his hand goes lax in my grip. Looking over at him, he’s blinking slowly as the movie starts. I pull his hand into my lap and rub the back of his hand with my thumb until Ryder shows up with his food.

“It’s good to see you sitting up. Here’s your grilled cheese, waffle fries with no salt, and I grabbed a glass of ice water for you too.” Ryder hands me the bag of food and then hands Charlie the water. “Here you go. Oh wait, I almost forgot!” He pulls out a neon green straw from his hoodie pocket and drops it into the glass.

“Thanks,” Charlie says softly before taking a small sip from the straw.

“No problem. Just shoot me a text if you guys need anything else.” He waves bye before leaving.

I unwrap his sandwich, spreading the wrapper flat on my bed, and dump the fries on the side. I hold up half the sandwich in his line of sight, but he doesn’t take it. I turn to face him, rip off a piece, and hold it up to his lips. He opens just enough for me to slip it past his lips. I watch as he slowly chews and then swallows. I offer another small bite-sized piece followed by a fry. He doesn’t look at me until he’s made it halfway through the grilled cheese and a few fries.

“Can I have the pain medicine now? Please?”

He sounds exhausted even though all he’s done is eat.

I set everything down and turn back to him, taking his hand in mine.

“Can you first tell me what happened,” I ask softly.

He looks down at our joined hands and slowly pulls his away. Looking back up to me, I see him chewing his bottom lip so hard I’m worried he’s going to draw blood. I reach up and gently pull it free from his teeth. He leans his head into my hand as I cradle the side of his face.

“Talk to me, baby. Let me help you.”

Charlie shakes his head still in my hand, closing his good eye.

“You can’t help me. No one can.” It’s whispered and full of sadness.

I rub my thumb across his cheekbone as I lean in and kiss his forehead. I move my head down until my forehead connects with his.

“I love you Charlie and nothing you tell me will change that. You’re mine and I protect what belongs to me. And right now, your pain is my pain, and I want nothing more than to take it all away.” I watch as a tear falls from his closed eye. “Please tell me who did this to you.”

A gut-wrenching sob leaves him making my heart squeeze in my chest. I collect him as carefully as I can onto my lap. With his chest to mine, he tucks his face into the crook of my neck, fisting my shirt, and lets out more sobs. I wrap my blanket over his naked back and hug him to me as he falls apart in my arms. I rub his back soothingly as I slowly rock side to side, a few of my own tears falling into his hair.

When his sobs turn into soft hiccups, I tilt his face up to mine and wipe away the wetness from his cheeks. His left eye is slightly open, the gold flakes bright from crying.

“I’m sorry,” he hiccups.

I shake my head at him. “You have nothing to apologize for, beautiful.”

He lets out a slow breath, closing his eye. A few seconds later, he’s asleep.

I scoot my ass down so I can comfortably lean back against the stack of pillows while keeping Charlie on a slight angle, avoiding adding more pressure to his bruises. I toss the warmed ice packs to the floor and wrap my arms around him and bury my nose in his hair which smells like my shampoo.

I have no idea what to do and it’s scaring the shit out of me. I love him so much and it pains me that I can’t help him. I need to find out who hurt him. My mind won’t settle until I have a name. I’m not a fighter but if I find out it was Benji, I’ll make sure his ass gets kicked off the team then make his face match his brothers. Plus, Ryder’s dad is a highly respected judge in Chicago who’ll have no problem slapping Benji with a few charges and ignoring anything Franklin Alexander tries to do.

My phone pings with a text. I reach for it and smile when I see Becca’s name.

Becs: Hey! Just checking in on you. My big sister spidey sense was tingling and I know Liz is fine because I was just with her. So that means you’re feeling big emotions up there. Talk to me!

A soft huff leaves my nose as I shake my head at her.

Me: How do you do that? We’re over 1,000 miles apart! skeptical emoji

Becs: It’s a superpower only the eldest sibling receives. Now tell me what’s wrong.

I blow out a breath debating if I should tell her what happened. She already knows he has panic attacks but not much else.

Fuck it. She’s the best person to help me through this.

Me: Someone attacked Charlie

The dots start and stop a few times before disappearing. I’m about to text back when a video call comes through. I quickly hit accept before it wakes Charlie.

My sister’s worried face fills the screen.

“Is he ok? What happened? Why aren’t you at the hospital?" she rushes out in one breath.

“Hold on.” I lean over and grab my earbuds, slipping them into my ears. “Sorry. He’s sleeping on me and I don’t want to wake him.” I say quietly.

“Well?” She raises her eyebrows expectantly.

I hold my phone off to the side so I won’t be talking over his ear.

“He’s okay for now, I think. He has a swollen black eye, bruised ribs, another bruise by his kidney, and cuts all over his back from broken glass. And I tried to get him to go to the hospital, but he begged me not to bring him then started crying.” I pause for a second to keep from breaking down. “I couldn’t bring him, Becca. He had this look in his eye, and I couldn’t bring myself to make it worse. But I’m not sure if it was the right choice.” My voice cracks at the end. “He’s been sleeping all day and when he wakes up, he’s either crying in pain or asking for more pain pills. What if something internal happened and I’m making it worse by letting him stay in my bed?” My eyes start to sting so I blink rapidly to keep from crying.

She tilts her head slightly watching me trying to hold my shit together.

“Why are you doubting yourself? I’ve never seen you question your choices before. You’re the most levelheaded, confident guy I know. If you truly thought he needed to be seen by a doctor, you’d be sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair holding his hand instead of holding him in your bed. You’ve had a black eye before so you know they can’t do anything about it, the same if he broke a few ribs. The biggest concern would be damage to his kidney and infection in the cuts. Has he thrown up or had blood in his pee?”

I shake my head. “He hasn’t been up long enough to make it to the bathroom. He’s also only had maybe five sips of water all day. I have antibiotic ointment on all his cuts. I’ll clean them again tomorrow when he wakes up. He has a pretty deep gash along his hairline that’s a little concerning, but it’s stayed closed for most of the day.”

“It sounds like you’re taking good care of him, Shane.” She smiles softly. “The best medicine is rest. If he’s still in a lot of pain tomorrow do what your gut tells you to do. I know he might not like it but at that point, he’ll need the extra help the hospital can offer.”

I nod and look down at my sleeping boy. Even beaten black and blue, he’s still the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. I kiss the top of his head before looking back to Becca on my phone.

“You really love him, don’t you? I can see it in the way you’re holding him like you’re protecting him.” She smiles again, looking thoughtful. “Keep him close Shane. I can feel his longing to be loved unconditionally from here.”

“I will,” I choke out.

I clear my throat making Charlie shift around until his face is tilted up. His lips are parted making his soft puffs of breath hit my chin.

“Thanks, Becca. I really needed this.”

“No problem. I’m always a phone call away! Now let me see him.”

I softly chuckle as I tilt my phone downwards so she can see his sleeping face.

“It’s too dark,” she whines. “I’ll see him one of these days, I guess. Hey, are you bringing him with you when you come home for Christmas break?”

I tilt my phone back up. “I’m sure as hell not letting him go back to his parents’ house. I don’t give a fuck what his father says.” I let out an aggravated huff. “I haven’t asked him about it yet. But if he says no, you guys might have to brave the Chicago winter if you want to see me for Christmas because I’m not leaving him.”

“Ha! I love you but fuck all that below fifty degrees bullshit. I’ll gladly stay in warm Florida and mail you your gifts,” she laughs.

Shaking my head I smirk at her.

“I miss you guys. Hopefully, I can get this one to come with me so everyone can meet him.” Not to mention our backyard opens to a private beach where he can lie in the warm sand and see the stars for miles.

A big yawn sneaks up on me, popping my jaw.

“I’ll let you get some sleep. Love you.” She blows a kiss.

“Love you too.”

I end the call and shift until I’m leaning back, relaxed against the pillows. I glance at the TV and see Superman save Lois from crashing into Earth. Looking down at Charlie, I move some hair from his forehead and place a tender kiss on his warm skin.

“I’ll do everything I can to save you the way Superman always saves Lois.”