Page 10

Charlie

B eautiful.

Why does he keep calling me that? The last thing I feel is beautiful. I’m in his huge hoodie that goes down past my ass and his crazy long joggers that I had to roll three times before they stayed up. I refuse to put dirty underwear or socks back on so I feel exposed, even if he can’t see anything.

After I had gotten dressed, I sat on the edge of his bed, trying to figure out how I got here. The last thing I remembered was talking to Josh, but I don’t know if he was at the party or not.

I looked around Shane’s room and spotted my phone on one of the end tables. I had one missed text from Lily and a missed call from my dealer, Pete. I checked the text first.

Lily: Ok! Take care of hm!! Tell him ill call tomrrow!!!!!

I snorted at all the exclamation points. That’s a dead giveaway that she was drunk. She probably doesn’t even remember sending it.

I slowly walked to the door and cracked it open. I saw the back of a cream-colored couch with a blonde ponytail hanging off the back cushion.

I had no idea who she was.

I was about to sneak to the glass doors off to the left when I heard someone approaching. I closed the door as quietly as I could and backed away.

I didn’t know who that voice belonged to either.

Where did Shane go?

Why did I agree to stay? I should have walked out after what I did in his bathroom.

That was embarrassing.

You’re fucking disgusting!

Who blacks out then destroys someone’s bathroom?

He’s probably waiting for you to get the fuck out of his house so he can scrub his bathroom clean of you.

Just make a run for the glass doors and jump!

Fuck. Stop!

I grabbed my hair as tight as I could and pulled until the pain on my scalp quieted the voices.

I had to get out of there asap.

Breathing heavily, I looked for my boots but couldn’t find them anywhere. Fuck it. I didn’t need them.

I took a deep breath and turned the doorknob with a trembling hand. I didn’t see the blonde ponytail or the guy and the TV had been turned off.

I crept out of the room towards the glass doors and looked out, realizing that I was at least two stories up.

Damn it.

I turned around and spotted what I hoped was the main door on the other side of the condo.

Why was it so far away?

I walked with my back against the wall and slowly made my way to the edge of the wall. The smell of bacon hitting my nose had my stomach churning.

I can’t puke again. Not here.

I peeked out far enough for my left eye to see past the wall and stopped when I saw Shane and two others in the kitchen. I couldn’t handle any more people seeing me like this.

Just fucking run for the door! It’s right there!

I looked at said door and contemplated how far I’d make it before Shane, or the other guy caught me. When I looked back at them, Shane was looking right at me.

Is he going to let me go?

Am I stuck here until he gets whatever he wants from me?

I backed up, hoping to reach his room before he got to me, but his long legs brought him to me in a matter of seconds.

My heart was beating so fast that I couldn’t hear what he said. I tried to hide my freak out when I felt his warm finger under my chin. He said something again, but I still couldn’t make out what he was saying. He placed his hand on my lower back and gently pushed me toward the kitchen.

What if he makes me eat bacon?

What if they laugh at me when I gag and puke it up all over the table?

His friend held out a tray of bacon and I couldn’t help my reaction to the smell. Shane found it hilarious though.

Don’t make it a big deal. He doesn’t know.

His friend sat next to me and was a little too close for comfort. He kept smiling at me for some reason, so I sat on the far edge of my seat. Then my head started to pound in time with my heartbeat.

Fucking edibles always give me the worst headaches.

Shane appeared in front of me with two white pills and a bottle of orange juice. Not wanting that nasty acidic juice, I built up as much saliva on my tongue as I could and swallowed down the pills.

Dig in Beautiful.

After watching, who I know now is Ryder, consume an unhealthy amount of food, I stand awkwardly off to the side waiting to ask Shane for my boots so I can go home.

He walks up to me after beating Ryder in rock-paper-scissors to see who cleans up.

“Want to hang out in my room or play video games out here?” he asks, pointing to the Xbox below the TV.

I don’t want to hang out or stay any longer. But he’s looking at me like I hold his plans for the day in my hand. I don’t want to be rude, but I want to go home and wallow under my mountain of blankets.

I bite my lower lip, lost on what to do or say.

“It’s okay, Charlie. I can see your hesitance to stay. You don’t have to. I was only offering in case you didn’t have plans for today.”

I don’t.

I nod and head to the door to leave.

“Don’t you want your shoes? It’s hot as hell out there,” he chuckles as he walks to his room.

Not sure what to do, I stand where I’m at and play with the string on my, his hoodie.

Should I take it off? What will he say when he sees the burn marks on my arms? I can give it back to him the next time I see him, right? What if I don’t see him again? Will he be mad if I keep his hoodie?

I’m about to take it off when he steps out of his room holding my boots. “You can keep it. I can’t fit in it anymore. Here you go.” He hands me my boots as he grabs his keys off the hook by the door and slips on his black Nike slides. He put on a blue Tampa Bay Thunder shirt to go with his black basketball shorts and fuck me, he’s now wearing a white backwards hat.

How does that make him even hotter?

I slide my bare feet into my boots without tying them and walk to the door, where Shane already has it open and waiting for me. Stepping past him, I look for the elevator when I get in the hallway and walk to it when I spot it at the end of the short hall.

Shane catches up as I hit the call button. “What are your plans for the day?”

I look up at him and shrug. My bed is calling my name. I think spending the rest of the weekend under my blankets is a solid plan.

The doors open and we get in. He hits the first-floor button as I walk to the back corner. The doors close as he leans against the wall and stares at me. I don’t know what he sees but whatever it is has him facing forward to adjust himself.

I smile as I look down.

I don’t know why but knowing I affect him that way has my dormant cock giving a slight twitch.

Oh, now you want to wake up? For a fucking hockey player? Useless thing.

When the doors open, he steps out and walks to the doors that lead outside. The damn sun hurts, so I shield my eyes as I look down at Shane’s feet and follow him to his car.

When he stops in front of a huge black truck, my jaw practically hits the floor.

“You drive this thing around campus? It’s a monster.”

He laughs as he opens the passenger door. “It’s not that big,” he says as a running board drops down. I lift my brows as I look at him over my shoulder while climbing up the monstrosity.

Once I’m seated, he closes the door, jogs around to the driver’s side, and gets in. He pushes the start button, and it roars to life. He smiles at me like a kid in a candy store. “She’s perfect, right?!”

I smirk.

My baby is better.

He sets the A/C to full blast, turns on the local rock station, and pulls out of the parking lot. Last Resort by Papa Roach comes on and he turns it up letting the bass rumble through the seats.

I’ll give him points for excellent taste in music.

I don’t know the area, so I have no idea if we are going in the right direction to campus or not. He seems like he knows where he’s going, so I sit back and watch the world pass by in a blur.

“Charlie. Wake up, we’re here.” Shane is right next to me, and I can feel the heat on my right side. I open one eye, realizing he’s standing with my door open.

When did I fall asleep?

“Come on. I’ll help you down.” He reaches up, so I grab his hand to step down.

“Why are we here,” I ask looking up at the Jewel-Osco sign.

“A little birdie told me that you need to do some grocery shopping, and since we were already out, I figured we could shop together. Ryder ate all the bacon and yogurt and bread and lunch meat.” He lists them off on his hand. “He also can’t be trusted grocery shopping. He’ll come home with half-rotten fruits and boxes upon boxes of cereal. And no milk,” he chuckles as we make our way inside.

We each grab a cart. “Does this little birdie have a sassy personality with wild hair to match?” I ask as I follow him to the produce section.

“Maybe.” He looks over his shoulder and winks at me.

I figured Lily was behind this. She knows I hate shopping. There are too many choices, and I never know what to get. Everyone is always in a rush, and none of these people know what a personal bubble is. It’s too much and often spikes my anxiety.

Shane adds some weird green leafy thing to his cart that already has potatoes, carrots, and cucumbers in it. I don’t like any of that, so I follow him around until we get to the fruit, grabbing a package of strawberries, cut-up watermelon, and a bag of Granny Smith apples. I look over to where Shane is sniffing the bottom of a pineapple.

What the fuck is he doing?

He notices me giving him a weird look. “What? This is how you find a good one. If the bottom smells sweet, then the inside is sweet.” He grabs two more that he also sniffs and places in his cart.

He looks at my three prepackaged fruits and raises an eyebrow. “You know it’s cheaper to get the whole fruit and prep it yourself.” He lifts a watermelon and rolls it around in his hands.

I shrug. “Let me guess, if there’s water sloshing around, it’s no good,” I say, avoiding his comment about saving money.

“No, smart ass. I was looking at the field spot and seeing how much it weighs. This one is perfect.” He places it in his cart and strolls away.

“How did you get Lily’s number anyway?”

“She actually got my number from someone and texted me this morning. I told her that I’d bring you home and to not worry about coming to get you. She then mentioned that you guys were going to go grocery shopping and asked if I could take you on our way to your place.”

I don’t remember making those arrangements with her.

I stand next to him as he looks at all the red meat. I cover my nose and mouth with the hoodie and count in my head until he’s got four packages in his cart. Thankfully, he continues past the rest of the meat and stops in the dairy section.

I grab a small tub of cream cheese spread and a carton of oat milk while Shane grabs a shit load of Greek yogurts and two gallons of milk.

Looking in my cart, all I need are some bagels, a new box of Froot Loops, and Sun Chips, and I’ll be done. Maybe some Double Stuf Oreo’s, too.

Shane has walked off when I look back up. I look down the aisles we are standing by, but I don’t see him. Blood starts whooshing in my ears as my hands start trembling.

I can do this. Just get what I need, pay, and meet him at his truck.

I look up at the aisle boards and find the one that has bread and cereal. I make my way to it while avoiding as many people as possible. By the time I’m standing in front of a wall of cereal, my heart is beating like it’s trying to escape my chest. I scan the wall for the familiar red box with the toucan on it, but they’re all blurring together.

Get your shit together!

You’re almost twenty-one fucking years old, you should be able to shop without a fucking panic attack.

You’re a damn disgrace to society!

A high-pitched ringing pierces through my panic, breaking the hold the voices had on me. I look around trying to find the source when the sound registers. It’s the generic ringtone that came with my phone.

I pull it out of my hoodie pocket.

“H-hello?”

“Charlie? Where’d you go? I said I would be right back.”

“Sh-Shane. P-please.”

“Where are you? I’m coming.”

“Cereal.”

“I’m right around the corner.”

Before I can hang up, he’s walking toward me.

“I’m here. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you like that. I thought you heard me when I said I forgot to grab chicken and that I’d be right back.”

His hands are on my shoulders.

I can smell his body wash.

I can hear his voice.

Taking a slow breath, I look up at him as a single tear falls. He wipes it away with his thumb. “Are you okay? Lily said you don’t do well when you’re left alone in a busy store. I’m finished so we can leave if you want.”

Why is he being so nice to me? I don’t understand.

I shake my head in a jerky nod. He takes my five items and puts them in his cart. He holds my hand and pushes the cart with his other as we make our way to the front.

Everything goes by in a haze after that.

I come to when I’m being jostled around in someone’s arms. Not just someone, but Shane’s. The scent of his body wash is all I can smell.

“Is this all he got?” Lily asks softly as I hear keys clanking together.

“That’s all he grabbed before…” Shane’s chest rumbles as he talks. My head is on his shoulder, feet wrapped around his waist while he carries me. The air shifts as we enter what must be my townhouse.

I open my eyes to see Lily setting two bags on the counter in the kitchen and shaking her head as she looks through them.

“We’ll have to…” She turns and stops talking when she sees that I’m awake. “Hey, Jax. How are you feeling? It’s been a while since you’ve had a panic attack in a store. Good thing Sticks was there, huh?” She pats Shane’s shoulder.

I’m so damn tired that all I can give her is a weak jerk of my head while Shane sets me on my feet. I sway a little, but with Shane behind me, he holds my hips steady. I lean back so he has to tighten his hold. His fingers flex as he steps in closer, his body heat warming my back.

“Easy there, beautiful.” His breath skates over the back of my neck, making goosebumps break out from the spot.

“Well, this is hot.” Lily is leaning against the island, fanning herself with her hand and a stupid smirk on her face.

“Shut up,” I say softly as I step out of Shane’s grip. “Are you finished?” I’m ready to sleep until class on Monday.

“Yes, I am mister grouch.” She walks over to me and stands on her tip-toes to kiss my forehead. “I’ll be back later if you need me.” She looks at the hoodie I’m wearing and glances at Shane. Looking back at me, she tugs on the sleeves and then grips my forearms. “Please be nice to yourself. Everything is fine,” she whispers.

I nod as she steps back.

She doesn’t get it though. I’m not okay and everything is far from fine.

“Alrighty. I’m off then. You two have fun!” She pumps her eyebrows at me and sends a wink to Shane, then leaves giggling like a crazy person.

“She’s…”

“A lot,” I cut Shane off as I head to my room. I stop at my closed door and look at him over my shoulder. “Aren’t you going to leave too?”

“Do you want me to? I don’t have any plans for the rest of the day.”

Yes.

No.

Fuck, I don’t know.

When I don’t say anything, he walks over to me with a determined look in his eye. “Charlie, do you want me to go or stay?” I can smell his addictive body wash even though he stopped with a foot of space between us. I want him to go but I now don’t want to be alone either. He steps closer and lifts my chin so I’m looking up at those icy blues. “Your hesitance is making me think you want me to stay. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. We can chill on the couch or your bed and watch movies or talk. Hell, I’ll sit in complete silence if that’s what you want to do. I just want to…” He stalls for a second like he’s rethinking what he was about to say. “To make sure you really are okay after what happened.”

With his finger still under my chin, he uses his thumb to gently stroke my cheek. My breath hitches at his soft, almost endearing touch. No one has ever looked at me like he does. Like I’m someone special.

It’s messing with my head.

He can’t actually think of me like that, can he?

I must be desperate to find out because I find myself whispering, “Stay,” without telling my mouth to move.