Page 79

The Decision

I know something is wrong when I reach the gates and no guards greet me.

“Fuck,” I mutter, my heart slamming into my rib cage as I take a deep breath.

He’s here, isn’t he? I always thought I would be filled with rage, an avenging warrior woman, screaming as I fling myself at him.

.. but I find terror racing through my veins, fighting with anger at the thought of seeing him.

One day I knew I would, and I know I will kill him or die trying, but I also know that man is responsible for some of the darkest, most painful times of my life.

He played my strings like a puppet, ripped out my soul and rebuilt it.

So, yes, anger is there, but so is terror.

Terror that I might freeze, that I might retreat back into myself. Nothing more than his pet…

“You think you will ever be free of me, pet?” he pants. “You think I will ever let you go? You. Are. Mine!” he screams the last, spittle flying from his bust lip and raining blood and spit down onto my upturned face.

I just stare back, my face blank and my eyes dead. What more can he do to me? He took my only friend, broke my body, and stole my innocence. All that is left is death, and I would welcome that with open arms. The thought makes my lips stretch in a smile.

He watches it form on my face and lets out a wordless scream, his eyes crazed and his crown titling with his movement. I stare at him impassively, waiting for the next hit, but instead, he steps back, his control returning as an evil glint enters his eyes.

“You aren’t bothered about me hurting you, but what about hurting the people you care about, pet?” he taunts, and I launch myself from the chair as he laughs.

Stepping closer, pushing past the memories, I spy the writing through the gates. No doubt Ivar’s pet torturer’s handy work.

“Are you ready to play, pet?” Scrawled in blood .

“We could wait here for the others,” Vasilisy adds, his voice hard like he doesn’t want to wait.

“Wouldn’t make a difference, we both know they are watching us. They knew the minute we pulled up; if we try and wait they will only come and get us. Better we go in on our own terms,” I say, blowing out a breath.

“Aye, least ya can protect your men,” he adds, both of us just staring at the gates.

Gritting my teeth, I unlock the gate and push, when it doesn’t budge I start to get angry, all the worry and panic at seeing Ivar again spirals into pure, red-hot fury. I let it out with a cry, kicking out and smashing the gates back into the posts at the side. I look at Vasilisy and he grins.

“Now, that is how you make an entrance, little queen.” We share a grin before turning back to face The Ring.

I might die as soon as I get in there, but sands below, I will die on my own two feet, free.

As soon as we step through the gates, I hear the whispers of the Berserkers obviously watching us. I decide to ignore them, they won’t attack. Not without orders, and they are probably waiting to see what I will do.

Holding my head up high, I walk down the same dirt path I have a million times.

I just hope it won’t be my last. I feel like I am walking to my death, and it makes me look around with a new light.

I once thought of this place as my cage, but glancing around now, I can smile at all the beauty and happiness I had here.

I met Major, the man, in his own words, is an asshole.

But an asshole who saved me, trusted in me, loved me when no one else did.

He fought for me when my own father wouldn’t.

I finally gave into my men here, I let them in, I trusted them.

The Ring is an important place for me, it’s a place of change, so it makes sense I would meet my end here.

We walk past the empty ring, a feat by itself. I wonder what they did with all the clan’s warriors, I think idly, eyeing the silent fighting ring which was full the other day when we came. When the house comes into view, I spot the Berserkers waiting on the steps.

“No matter wha happens, little queen, I will be by your side and we will go down fighting.” Vasilisy reaches across the small space between us as we stand and stare at the steps. When his hand touches mine, I allow myself a second of comfort.

“Thank you, for fighting by my side, you didn’t have to,” I say softly, just for us.

“It wa a pleasure, I get to say I finally saw a true queen.” I grin over at the crazy bastard and he grins back.

Who knew I would grow to care for a Berserker so much?

Ivar jaded my view of them, and if Vasilisy is anything to go by, they can’t all be bad.

Maybe I can use that to my advantage, I just don’t know how.

When the door to the house opens, we split apart, our stances turning ready, just in case.

Ivar’s pet torturer steps out, shielding his eyes from the light as he looks around, before his eyes land on us.

I can see the evil grin from here and I have to grit my teeth.

Looking at him now, no longer a child, I can see that he is not the big monster I made him out to be in my head.

In fact, I am probably the same size as him, he just has more muscle, but it’s his sick mind that is the worst. He is so twisted and cruel, and I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of that.

Strengthening my back, I refuse to cower.

He might have seen me at my darkest, but he will also see me at my strongest. Striding across the sand, I meet him on the steps, stepping up each one until we are equal and mere meters apart.

Vasilisy’s heat moves behind me, watching my back as I stare down the monster in front of me.

“He is waiting for you,” is all he says, his eyes sparkling with delight and madness as his lips curl up into a big smile.

His cheeks crinkle and the lines around his eyes show that time has not been kind to him.

I should be filled with terror, but I know whatever they do to me will not matter.

They have done it before and I will die knowing the taste of freedom and love, and they can’t take that away from me.

So instead, I stare right back, waiting for him to lead the way.

“Looks like the kitten finally got her claws,” he mocks and the two warriors flanking the door laugh. I cut them a look and they snap their mouths shut, making me smile.

“You have no idea. Now, unless you want me to use them on you, I suggest you show us inside.” I arch my eyebrow and wait like I have all the time in the world.

“I hope he lets me play with you first,” he sneers, his eyes lighting up with lust, but not just for my body, for my screams and pain. He gets off on it, I remember that like it was yesterday.

“In your dreams, now move the fuck out of my way,” I demand, tilting my head and showing him how serious I am. I am tired of this dick measuring contest.

He stares me down for a second before something flashes in his eyes and he steps back, still locked with my gaze.

When I arch my eyebrow and roll my eyes, he turns and opens the door.

Stepping inside I get a sense of déjà vu.

It feels like it was weeks ago when I turned up here for The Summit, although it was only a matter of days, so filled with hope that we could come together and defeat Ivar.

So much has happened, so much blood has been spilled in that short amount of time, all reminding me exactly who I was dealing with.

It was a child’s dream that The Summit would work, and we could all rally together and defeat Ivar.

He is always one step ahead, and it only shows now more than ever.

Where I followed rules and sat and fought through the political bullshit, he was breaking treaties and slaughtering people, making his moves on the chessboard, playing dirty. I guess it’s my turn, fuck the rules. Fuck the politics; I was always better at fighting than talking.

The blood from Priest’s punishment is dried in a puddle on the floor, but there are also new splashes spread around the hallway. The red is bright against the white paint, a warning.

“Looks like you had some fun,” I say dryly, trying not to think of whose blood it might be.

“Not as much as I would have liked,” he replies with a wink, which sends a cold shiver through my body.

I try to think logically, he wouldn’t have killed any of the leaders, including Major and Nan.

It would be a stupid ploy, I just hope they didn’t piss him off at all…

they are not exactly discreet with their thoughts and if they sent him into a rage…

I even hope Doc and the Paradise people are okay.

When we reach the doors to The Summit meeting room, I ignore the two scav bodies propped up next to it like honour guards. Blood covers the walls and I have to breathe in shallow breaths from the stench of piss and shit. People died here, quite a few from the smell of it.