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Before it can come to blows I lean forward and draw their attention, I have been doing that for the last hour, they clash on nearly every word with only me to smooth over the differences between the clan leaders.

“What he is, is crazy. Let’s not beat around the bush.

His mind is warped, but he has an army behind him. It makes him a deadly threat.”

Priest nods and smiles at me. “Thee who faces the demons, will come out stronger for thy have seen the face of evil and chose the path of light.”

Everyone goes quiet before I hear Nan mutter, “And ya thought Ivar was crazy.”

I have to stifle my laugh by grabbing a drink of water from the cup in front of me. Priest’s head slowly turns to face Nan and he wipes all expression from his face. “Madness is only the beginning.”

Major grunts. “None of this matters, we must come up with a plan and furthermore, a truce.”

Reeves flies to his feet, dramatically bashing his meaty fists down on the table making the cups jump. “Why must we be involved at all?! This is not our fight, I will not send my men to death for one girl. I say we let Ivar have her.”

With his words, the room erupts in chaos, but I continue to keep watching.

I’m glad he got straight to the point, he is right, why should they fight?

I go to stand when out of the corner of my eye I see Dray already beat me to it.

“No one will be giving Worth to him or I will cut off their cocks and wear them as a necklace.”

Reeves’s face turns red as he starts to wind up for a fight.

I can see Nan grinning, obviously enjoying this and Major looks tired.

Standing slowly I face them all. “You are right, you could give me to Ivar. It might calm him, for a while, but we all know as soon as he kills me or gets bored of me, he will be back to his ways. He will never settle for staying still, he wants to expand. He believes the Berserkers are the best of the clans and he won’t stop until no one stands in his way.

I was with him for years, I know the way his brain works, and he spoke often of leading this world into a new time.

That means killing all of you. So yes, you could hand me over now and buy yourself some time, but then you are only signing your own death warrants.

He is coming and he will kill us all. We need to work together or nothing will be left in the Wastes but dust.”

Two hours later , I call a break and the leaders start to file out, obviously intent on getting some fresh air––I wish I could join them.

Instead, I need to talk to Major, get some advice, and a crash course on Summit rules.

He notices my look and nods before sitting back down, waving his men to the door.

They nod and leave; the only other person left is Nan who is downing a drink of whiskey like it’s a lifeline.

Sands below, when was the last time I had a drink?

I stare longingly at the cup and a snort comes from behind me before Maxen rounds the table, grabs a glass and pours me one, leaving it in front of me and slouching in the now free chair next to mine.

My other men take that as an invitation and go and find a seat, all but Drax.

He kicks back my chair and waits. I throw him and look, and he hikes his thumb in the air, gesturing for me to stand. I do as I am told, and he slumps in the chair before grabbing my hip and pulling me into his lap. Rolling my eyes, I get comfy and face a grinning Nan.

“Don’t fucking start,” I warn, narrowing my eyes.

“Ah girly, I wouldn’t say a thing,” she jokes, pushing the whiskey bottle to the middle, so we can all reach. Major doesn’t grab a glass but everyone else does.

“You look tired,” she adds, and I nod. “Aye, when this is all through, ya need to go back to ya old job. A lot less madness.” I arch my eyebrow, really? My last job was so much easier than trying to save the world? No fucking shit lady.

“Dunnie give me tha look, girly. Anyway, I need ya to come back and take care of them city boys.” She spits the last and I freeze with the drink halfway to my mouth, dropping it back to the table with a bang. I lean forward, making Drax groan quietly.

“City boys?” I demand, and she waves her hand in the air.

“That’s what I fuckin said didn’t I? Fucking boys came from tha cities and started causing chaos in my place. Threatened my men and even the whores, some people left, and others are laying low.”

“Why are they here? That can’t be good,” I say, grinding my teeth.

“Aye, first we sort that prick out tho’.”

I nod and offer her a smile. She toasts me with her glass and I do the same before knocking back my drink.

She shuffles to her feet, grabbing her shotgun on the way.

“I’m goin’ to piss off that bastard again, see if I can’t shoot him.

” With that she shuffles out the door leaving me worried about what I might find when we reconvene.

Thorn reaches out this time and fills my glass, pushing it towards me with a soft smile.

I smile back and play with the glass, trying to think everything through.

We haven’t really got anywhere, just more squabbling than anything, and the way they are pushing me I know I need some advice from Major.

I turn to ask him when his voice comes out quiet, soft, and filled with pain.

“I had a daughter.” I freeze and swing my eyes to him to see him looking at the table.

“I know,” I say equally as soft.

“Her name was Cara.” I don’t interrupt, I have asked him so many times about his past and he never opened up, so I have to wonder why he is now.

“She was twelve when everything happened, it was her birthday. I was supposed to have been there.” He rubs his nose with his hand before reaching for a glass.

Maxen fills one and passes it over without a word.

I throw him a grateful look, which he returns with a soft smile.

“Her mother and I had split up when she was five. I wasn’t a great husband, but I loved Cara more than anything in the world.

She was my little girl, my angel, my chance at being a better person, at giving someone a better life than I had.

I worked hard, day and night to make sure that happened.

To make sure she never went hungry like I did, or had to wear threadbare second-hand clothes, that she could have anything she wanted.

I never realised all she wanted was me and that no amount of presents could make up for me not being in her life as much. ”

He takes a deep breath and throws back the whiskey. Maxen reaches out and instantly refills it for him, we all can hear his pain and we all have our own stories. Sometimes you need to get them off your chest, so the best thing you can do for someone is just listen and be there.

“Her mum remarried, he was a good guy. Boring, an accountant, but good. He loved my daughter and never showed me anything but kindness, even when I was an asshole to him. I saw the way my daughter’s eyes lit up when he was around, and I hated it.

They had become the perfect family. I started not seeing her as much, until I was only a stranger that sent her gifts.

I worked my way to the top, I was a lawyer.

I became CEO, I got distracted by the money and the lifestyle.

I took bribes, I framed innocent people.

.. anything to make the next deal and money.

” His voice cracks and tears swim in his eyes as he raises them to mine.

“But I loved her, she was my light. The thing I did it all for, I stained my soul, so she wouldn’t ever have to…

and look what it got me. That money didn’t help in the end, it didn’t save her,” he finishes.

“What happened?” I ask, leaning back and letting Drax offer me some comfort.

“She died. When it all started going to shit, I got in my ridiculously expensive car and drove like a mad man, my only thought of getting to her. I knew where she would be, I had received an invite to her birthday party. Her mum told me all she wanted this year was for me to be there, not a present. Just me.” He starts to play with his glass as he talks, and I find myself entrapped in his heartbreak.

“I got there an hour later, my car broke down halfway and I had to fight my way through the chaos and panic, but I got there. This stupid restaurant with balloons outside. The door had been broken in the rush for people to leave, and a body littered the car park as if someone had run him over to get away, as if they could outdrive this thing.”

“Major, you don’t have to–” He cuts me off with a look and I snap my mouth shut.

“When I got inside, I saw her. She looked so beautiful. She had on a black dress and converse high tops. I bet it drove her mum mad, but she was always different. All the other girls wanted dresses and Barbies, she wanted trucks and trousers. I loved her for it.” He throws back his drink again and pushes it to Maxen, who fills it and shoves it back.

“There my little girl was, her mum sat beside her, her little face blank and numb, eyes empty as her mum rocked back and forth. She had lost a shoe, that’s all I kept thinking.

I tumbled to my daughter’s side and fell to the floor where she laid, so still.

I remember shaking her, screaming at her mum, but nothing worked.

She was dead, my little girl was dead, wooden beam from the ceiling had fallen down with the quakes and crushed her.

I slapped her mum, I screamed and raged as she sobbed.

She told me that stupid bastard had left her, them, in the panic and she didn’t know what to do.

She screamed at me that I should have been there.

She pounded on my chest with her fists until she slid back to the floor in a heap. ”

I can imagine it in my head, his words that vivid, and my heart hurts for the man I considered a father.

“It wasn’t fast, I wish I could say that it didn’t hurt.

Everyone loves to hear that, but I knew the truth.

She suffered, it was painful and long and no one saved her, even as she begged her mum for me.

She was so young. Sometimes I wonder if it was for the best, what kind of life would she have lived in this world now?

Would she be cold and heartless like her old man, would she have made it?

I don’t know, so maybe it’s for the best.” His voice breaks as tears drip steadily down his face.

“What happened to her mum?” I ask, needing to know.

“She killed herself.” He throws the drink back again.

“While I watched, she picked up a steak knife and slit her own throat. I held her for as long as I could, staunching the blood, but it pumped through my hands. When I came back to, her cold lifeless body was in my arms. I said goodbye, I kissed them both and laid them side by side before burning the place down. I didn’t care if it would have got me in trouble, I could not stand the thought of leaving them there.

Then I wandered, uncaring whether I lived or died.

.. but I did. I lived, I always figured there was a reason why, Cara was obsessed with meanings and all that spiritual crap.

She told me once that I would know why I was in this life one day and I guess she was right.

” His eyes meet mine, honest, open, and so full of pain and suffering that it rips my chest open.

How can he hide all that, how can he function with all that in his chest?

“I survived for you, kid. So, I could save you, so I could help you. So, you could save whatever is left of this world, so you could have the life my daughter never had. I lived so you could, and I thank my little girl every day for giving me that hope.”

Tears drop from my eyes mirroring his, but I don’t stop them even as Drax’s arms tighten around me. “I might not do anything amazing, I will never make up for my past, but I can help you. I can do that for her.”

It goes quiet as we all linger in his story and words. I always wanted to know and now that I do, I can’t help but love him more. He might not think he deserves to be forgiven or loved, but I do.

Blowing out a breath I knock back my drink. “Okay, crash course in rules.”

He snorts out a desperate sounding laugh but nods. “Yes, let’s help you stop the end of the world.”

I smile at him and he grins back, his eyes lightening and his tears drying up as he starts to outline everything I will need to know to keep me alive, and this Summit on track.

I watch him as he talks, my heart aching for him.

Now that I know what he lost, I can’t help but wonder what I would do––what I would become if I had gone through the same.

Probably something a lot worse than him.