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“Why didn’t you come back?” I resolutely look at the sky, the only way I can get through this conversation.

“I planned on it. Apparently being imprisoned puts a hindrance on plans, I’m not saying I would’ve ridden in like your knight in shining armour, but I would have found you a place in my clan; bought you from Ivar if I had to.

I would have done whatever it took to get you. ” I nod, and my word vomit continues.

“Did you really kill your father?”

“Yes.” The word is a growl and I turn to him in shock, although I don’t know what I expected.

“Why?” I ask, more curious than anything. He looks at me, his eyes alight with hate.

“Because he was a monster. He was a bad father and a worse leader.”

“And that earned him his death?” I’m not judging, just trying to work out what he means.

“Yes. If he had stayed in power, our people would have died. The only way to stop his reign of terror was to kill him, something I happily accepted. In fact, I relished it, watching the dawning fear in his eyes as I gutted him.” Watching his face change as he speaks about his people, I realize something about this crazy man. He cares for them.

“Okay.” I turn back to the stars.

“What? No protests and cries of disgust?” He sneers, but underneath, I sense his hesitation. Did he fear my reaction? The man who kills and rips people apart with his bare hands?

“No. If you say you had to do it, I believe you. If I had the chance, I would kill Ivar without hesitation.” When he doesn't speak, I look at him “I know who and what you are, Dray.

No hidden feelings blind me to the animal you are.

In all honesty, it's refreshing. I wish I could accept myself like you do…” I trail off as a brilliant smile, devoid of his usual mask breaks free.

“You do not see yourself clearly. You still worry what people will think of you. You have survived that which would break others. Maybe it’s time you embrace the side of you that kept you alive. I’m betting it would be magnificent.”

My heart warms at his words, the truth hitting me like a ton of bricks. Nodding, I push myself to stand. Needing to walk away before I give in to the sexual tension between us, I stop at his next words.

“Nothing will stop me this time, or for the rest of my life. I will always come for you.” He declares it like a promise. Turning, I march up to him and hover above him.

“Why? I don’t get why? You barely know me.”

“Time doesn’t matter to me. I've been tortured for an hour before and it felt like months and I've watched you for years and that feels like minutes. I know you. I know what even you hide from yourself. You are my soulmate.” He shrugs like it’s obvious.

“You believe in soul mates?” I sputter.

“Yes. I might not know how to love, but I know when my soul is pulling me back to you every time, no matter what.”

“Have you ever thought I don’t want to be your soulmate?” I choke on the word.

“It's not a choice, you can fight it all you want.” He smiles at me.

“And you don’t want to?” I ask incredulously.

He snarls and jumps up, his feral grin back.

“I did. For the first few years after I met you, I watched as my soul withered with every punch, whip and broken bone you endured. I offered you a chance, it was going to be a place in my clan. In hopes it would stop whatever this pull is. When I finally came round to the fact that something in me will always want you, I stopped fighting but then it was too late. I was imprisoned by my father, and when I got free, you were gone. I don’t plan on making that same mistake again.

I will take you in whatever way I can. And right now, I want you beside me as we fight. ”

“Not behind you?” I snark.

“Never. You are a warrior, a Berserker Queen. I would be proud to stand by your side, not the other way around. Now you must get some sleep. It will be a hard couple of days. Unless you want to fuck?” He grins before blending back into the shadows like they welcome him with open arms.

Soulmates. I balk. Sands below, he’s crazier than I thought. Motherfucking soulmates! I snarl and stomp away, but deep inside preening at the words and my stomach is filled with warmth. I must be as crazy as he is, and where does this leave me and the four other guys I’m drawn to?

I spend the walk back planning the next couple of days.

I wonder if they will come with me? I have faced down insurmountable odds in The Ring.

I have been tortured, abused, betrayed and almost killed more times than I can count.

But the idea of facing them again sends more fear into me than facing down any fighter.

What if they turn away from me? What if they don’t want me anymore?

What if I hurt them too much? In trying to protect my own heart, I tore theirs out and stomped on it.

My Jax, who trusted me to watch his brother and to see his demons.

Drax, who fell apart in my arms as his nightmares haunted him.

Thorn, who no matter what, I know would always have my back and nothing I did could ever disgust him.

And Maxen. The man who taught me to care again, to open my heart.

To finally lean on someone and find out what a family means.

I face the door, my heart beating double time, my palms sweating, and my chest tight.

I can't lose them. I don’t know what's going to happen in the future. I don’t know if Ivar will find me or if the other clans will kill me on sight.

Hell, I could die in my sleep at the hands of an assassin.

But I can't live another minute without telling them how I feel, no matter if they don’t forgive me.

Steeling my nerve, I open the door to face my future, whether that will be by their side or knowing I could have been. I’m done hiding.