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Eleven

Fever Panic

I slip in and out of consciousness. I can’t tell the time or even the day anymore.

But I’m hot all the time, sweat covering me and drying across my skin in a disgusting way, yet I can’t be bothered to care.

One of my men is always there with Dray lying next to me, stroking his knife across his chest and singing to himself.

They wet me down with cold water, washing me and placing compresses on my head.

They also make me sip water. I try to eat, but I end up throwing it up, and they give up for a while.

But it’s still not enough.

I can almost feel the infection spreading, making me sluggish and numb.

Numb but hot. So hot. I can barely breathe.

It increases every time I rouse, until I am caught between sleep and wakefulness.

I have been having hallucinations, because I see Ivar, Major, and Vas, but it feels so real.

I toss and turn, and eventually, they have to tie me down, making me cry out.

Dray strokes my cheek and calms me, muttering in my ear the whole time, until I can no longer hear him. My eyes remain locked on the ceiling, my brain stuck between past and present.

I can feel tears streaming down my face and my men wiping them away, asking what is wrong, but I can’t answer, and I slip back into slumber.

When I wake, panic fills me as my dream clings to me. I’m so hot, my head feels like it’s about to explode. I hear Evan talking, arguing, and Dray is next to me, speaking to me, but I can’t focus on his words.

Too scared.

Too panicked .

“Rest? Von never got buried,” I scream, thrashing. “He needs to be laid to rest, needs to.”

Dray holds me down, getting in my face. “We will put him to rest. Look at me, soulmate, we will, I promise, now stop moving or you will tear your stitches.” He looks over his shoulder then as I blink under him. “Doc, she’s worse. What the fuck can we do? She’s too hot.”

I hear Evan mumble, and then Dray swears. “Fuck it. Come on, wife, we need to cool you down.”

He scoops me from the bed, causing me to whimper in pain as he strides across the room, kicks open the bathroom door, and starts to run the bath.

As he waits, he strips me of my shirt, my pants long since gone, and removes his clothes before climbing in with me.

He holds me as the cool water starts to encase my flesh, cooling me instantly.

My eyes close in bliss as I let his strength support me. I hear the others enter the room. They are all worried, but with the cold water lapping over my body, I finally start to drift back to sleep.

“Don’t you dare fucking leave me,” he snarls in my ear.

“I’m fucking sleeping, you madman,” I mutter, making them all chuckle as I groan, my stomach hurting again.

“Take the pain meds, babe, please,” Drax whispers, and I crack open my eyes to see him next to me, the cool water stopping the fire in my brain.

“No.” I sigh.

Dray laughs as Thorn swears. “Baby girl, it doesn’t make you weak. Take the pain meds.”

I shake my head and close my eyes. “ Mi Alma , look at me.”

I open my eyes to see Maxen beside me, his eyes pleading and hard. “If not for you, then for us. We’ve watched you suffer enough. Do you really want to hurt us even more?”

I grind my teeth. “Oh, you manipulative fuck.”

He smiles slightly. “Yeah, but is it working?” I groan, and he grabs my hand. “Please, my love, I can’t stand this. It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you smart enough to know when you need help, and you are smart, Worth, too smart to fucking say no out of pride.”

“Please, Angel,” Jax whispers, sitting on the side of the bath, stroking my leg.

“I like pain as much as the next person, but I can’t stand to see you suffer.

We both know surrender doesn’t mean weakness.

I will gladly surrender to you for the rest of my life, but you have to be alive to do so. Take the meds.”

“Do it, soulmate, trust in us. No one will touch you or get close while you are out,” Dray murmurs.

“Promise?” I ask softly, hating the weakness in my voice.

“I will protect you forever, wife, until my last breath.”

Sighing, I look at Evan. “Do it, Doc. ”

He mutters, “Thank fuck,” and rushes to draw up the dose as I float and cool down.

“You’ve got this, baby girl. Conquer it like you do everything else.”

Their confidence in me helps settle me further, and when Evan comes back and injects me, I think of Jax’s words.

Surrender doesn’t mean weakness.

It means you’re strong enough to know when to bend so you don’t break.

I do that now, I bend.

And as the meds kick in and pull me under, I place my trust in those around me for once to be saved, even if the fight is in my body.

I wake a few times during the next couple of days, usually with screams leaving my lips, even though I try to stop them.

My body is on fire, as is my mind, and the pain is excruciating.

Evan is there to dose me, and they cool my body down with towels, but when it’s not enough, I take an ice bath with one of my guys.

They hold me up while I shiver and shake. They sing to me, talk to me. They are always with me, never leaving my side. I’m forced to drink, but I can’t eat. Finally, somewhere in the middle of the night, I realise each time I wake the pain is lessening, as is the heat.

The final time I wake up, it’s with a gasp, bracing for the pain and warmth, but it doesn’t come. I just feel the normal pain from being stabbed, and I’m warm, but not so much that I feel like I am dying.

My men are asleep around me, apart from Drax, who is sitting at my side, his hands holding mine as tears glisten on his cheeks.

I spot Evan in the next room snoring softly before turning back to the man beside me.

I reach out to brush Drax’s tears away. He jumps and smiles as he quickly wipes them away and forces a weak smile on his lips.

“Hey, sweet cheeks, don’t you look beautiful? ”

“Fucking liar,” I whisper so I do not wake them. “You okay?”

My funny man has such a sensitive soft side. Underneath all the jokes and charm, he is just as damaged and lost as us. He doesn’t often show it, but he does so now, his blue eyes begging me not to leave him like everyone else. His face is pale, and there are bags under his eyes.

“Come here,” I murmur, unable to lift my head much.

He shuffles closer, but not close enough.

His eyes drop as he tries to hide his fear from me, but fuck that.

These are my men, we’ve been through hell and back, and he doesn’t get to shy away to protect me now.

I want the raw edge of his fear and anger, I want it all, even if it hurts, because I don’t ever want those pretty fucking placating lies.

So, gritting my teeth, I raise my head, even though it almost kills me, and press my forehead to his, running my lips along his reassuringly.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m too fucking strong for that shit, babe.

Don’t give up believing in me now just because it got hard. Our odds are always life and death.”

I feel Jax waking next to me, but he stays still, knowing his brother needs me right now.

“Tazy…” Drax sighs. “I don’t know how to live without you.

I realised it in The Cities. We spent our lives searching for something, and we found you…

and I can’t lose you now. I just got you back.

I wanted to grow old with you. See you all wrinkly and badass, still riding on your bike and kicking ass.

I want to stand by your side as you kill anyone who annoys you, even when we’re eighty. ”

“Eighty, huh?” I deadpan. “I didn’t sign up for that long with you fuckers. I’ll be crazy by fifty.”

I push away my shock at the growing old comment. There was a time I thought I would never see my next year, never mind eighty. But Drax has already thought about it.

“Like you could get rid of us.” He snorts and presses closer, his breath blowing over my face as our words are whispered between us on scared, trembling lips. His eyes are filled with hope. Jax squeezes my other hand, offering me strength.

“I don’t know, I reckon I could outrun you.” I laugh softly.

He grins, his lips catching on mine against it. “We would find you. We would follow Dray, that crazy fucker would catch you.”

“True.” I snigger. “He would probably chain himself to me.”

He chuckles and kisses me softly. “Eighty years would still never be enough with you, Tazanna Worth. You’re the love of my life.”

“You softie,” I tease.

“It was the boobs that made me fall in love, and don’t get me started on your ass—”

“That’s more like it,” I murmur, sighing as I cup his face with shaky, weak hands, annoying myself.

“Sorry if I woke you, sweet cheeks.”

“Nah, your brother was feeling me up, it woke me,” I grumble, making him smile.

“He is a handsy bastard. You should have seen him when they took us. He laughed right in their faces and declared you would kick their asses for touching what was yours.”

“Too fucking right. No one touches you but me, even if it’s to kill your annoying asses.”

He gasps dramatically. “Is that any way to talk to your husband? And I thought we were the lost boys together! Wait, if we are married… Oh, hell no, if you die, we don’t get your crazy killer.”

I chuckle, and I hear the others wake up, especially Evan, who yells, “What? Who? What’s wrong?” He scrambles off the sofa and falls, and we all watch as he blinks in confusion, waking up.

“We were going on about shaving your head,” I murmur as I lie down.

He narrows his eyes on me as he gets to his feet. “Piper would kill you.”

“No, she wouldn’t. She would barge in all angry, then forget and go off on a tangent, probably about my boobs.” I wiggle, trying to get comfortable, and Maxen and Thorn are there, helping me sit up and fluffing my pillows.

Dray is between my legs, and not in a good dirty way. He’s just chilling here, like I am a human pillow, with his head over my pussy. Weirdo.

“How are you feeling?” Evan asks, pushing Drax aside and pressing his hand to my head before yanking the sheet down and checking my wound, which looks less angry and red. He leans down and sniffs it.

“Dude, what the hell?” I grumble as he raises his head, his shoulders slumping.

“The infection smell is disappearing.” He looks to me then, smiling. “I think you’re getting through it.”

“What exactly does that mean?” Jax inquires quietly.

“It means she is going to live a long life, annoying and scaring you,” Evan rumbles. “Unless she gets her ass stabbed again.”

“Only by my cock,” Dray murmurs.

Evan blinks, and then it clicks that he said ‘ass’ and ‘stabbed.’ His cheeks heat, making us all laugh. “Not an ass man, Doc?”

He rubs his face. “Jesus, I am not discussing that.”

“Why? By now you’ve seen all of me, including my insides.” I grin at him as he shakes his head and points at my face.

“No, now sleep, you still need it. I’m going to find my Pip and take a nap. I will see you in the morning.” He turns and then looks back. “And I do mean sleep…not the ass—oh, fuck this.” He storms out, and we all laugh again.

Thorn hands me some water, which I sip, and Maxen disappears into the other room before coming back with some meat, which he passes to me. “Eat,” he demands, so I do, nibbling on it. My stomach feels empty.

“You’re cute when you’re bossy,” I tell him, and he grins, those enticing lips tipping up as I remember his drugging kisses. His eyes narrow though .

“Eat, no dirty thoughts.”

I laugh and finish off the meat, watching as he pulls back his hair and deftly ties it in a bun on his head, making his face seem sharper. Jax cuddles against my side, and I lean my head on his. “So, what’s been happening while I was out?”

“Nope.” Thorn pops my thigh, smacking it lightly. “No work. If you’re better tomorrow, you can ask then, but for tonight, you heard Doc, you need to rest.”

They all look exhausted. “Only if you do.” They start to protest, and I narrow my eyes. “I am not going to die in the next few hours, so sleep before I knock you all out.”

“Me first.” Dray grins as I wink at him.

“That’s the way she treats us after we had to take cold baths all week? I swear my balls shrunk. Hey, sweet cheeks, why don’t you check?” Drax says as he stands and starts to pull down his pants.

Thorn laughs and throws a pillow at him. “Put your dick away, bro.”

“Sleep, all of you,” Maxen orders, crossing his arms over his bare chest as he glares down at us like naughty children. What a man.

“You too, big guy, or else I’m getting my ass up and going to check on everything downstairs.”

He huffs but climbs onto the bed, kicking at Thorn to make room. “We need a bigger fucking bed,” he grouses.

“That we do. I’m sick of feeling that pipe Thorn keeps in his pocket,” Drax comments, and then groans. “It’s not a pipe, is it? Dude, not cool, way to show us all up.”

Laughing, I snuggle between them all. “I would compare it more to a bat.”

They all start laughing as they settle around me, and with the sound of their teasing and their hands on my body, I drift off to sleep, a dreamless, nightmare-less slumber for the first time in ages.

Because of them.