Page 105
Erik nods at me from across the fire, while concentrating on ripping some meat from the stick in his hand.
Evan passes me some he’s cooked, and I take half and give the rest to Dray behind me.
I eat quickly, realising how starved I am, and once I’ve finished, I snuggle back against Dray’s chest and concentrate on the dancing fire, the voices of the others talking, and the flames twisting and curling in front of me, lulling me into a peaceful trance.
“You will never escape me, pet, wherever you go. Nowhere in the Wastes is safe from me, not even your own mind.”
Blinking hard, I swallow and ignore the memories twirling through my head as fear claws at my throat. I feel like I’m trapped, my heart banging against my chest.
“I’m always with you, pet, don’t you see that?”
No, no. I close my eyes and breathe slowly, concentrating on that as I try to block his taunting. It’s just memories , I tell myself, just a ghost of your past , he can’t hurt you .
He can’t hurt you, He can’t—
“Want to play with me, pet? You know how much I enjoy our games. ”
Grinding my teeth, I force the memories back, focusing on anything but him, and trying not to stiffen against Dray.
“This Paradise, what is it?” Erik asks, his voice bringing me back from the brink. “I’ve heard the rumours, every babe out here has, any of it true?”
I focus on it, letting the harsh, rough quality of his voice bring me back to the here and now, and finally break my gaze away from the fire and swing it to him.
He’s leaning forward, watching me and waiting for an answer.
The reflection of the flames sparkles in his eyes, reminding me so much of Noah.
It sends a pang through me, but I ignore it and cuddle into Dray.
He wraps his arms around me, holding me against him like he will never let me go.
Erik’s eyes flicker down to Dray’s arms, but he says nothing.
“Some of the rumours are true,” I start, pulling his gaze back to mine.
“They have grass, they have safety—medicine. It’s not like the Wastes.
In Paradise, it’s like the world never ended, like nothing ever changed.
They have structures, government, an army, women, and children.
They also have no sense of the real danger out here, they’re…
unprepared,” I finish, looking at Evan. Erik follows my gaze and his eyes widen with understanding.
Evan ducks his head. “It’s true. We know hardships, probably not the same ones you had out here, but life wasn’t easy…Paradise isn’t perfect. I learned that the hard way,” he mutters, and I remember his story about the woman he lost.
Archel drops down in the circle, leaning back and watching the stars.
“Full of dead men,” he offers. I look at him in confusion, but he doesn’t meet my gaze.
“Monsters just the same, but they cover it up better. Out here, what you see is usually what you get with people. There, they are all liars, covering their evil and desires with a pleasant smile.”
We all stare, but he doesn’t elaborate further, and I catch Evan giving him a strange, considering look. “It’s also run by my father,” I add, my voice calm.
Everyone turns to look at me, as Erik blinked in astonishment. “Your father? I thought he was dead,” he growls.
“So did I. Seems he escaped Ivar’s wrath and hid down there, made a new life,” I mutter bitterly.
“He’s a fucking idiot,” Dray snarls, his voice cutting through my nasty thoughts.
I shrug, not wanting to admit how much it still hurts that he didn’t love me enough to look for me.
“He’s an idiot if he didn’t care enough to risk everything, to never stop looking, to burn the whole world to find you.
You don’t need him. Look at me, soulmate.
” He turns me so I’m facing him, his icy blue eyes staring deeply into mine.
“I mean it. Family is a choice, the ones we are born into aren’t forever, and just because you share blood doesn’t mean you should love them.
I chose Archel rather than my family and now you.
Nothing, I mean nothing, would stop me from coming for you.
Not a scorch, not a war, not fucking anything.
You are too important. You are my everything.
If he isn’t willing to risk it all for his daughter, he doesn’t deserve you.
The weak don’t survive in this world, you know that, and he’s weak,” he growls, gripping my face to make me look at him.
“Dray,” I whisper.
“No, he might have been your father once, but this world changes everyone, not always for the better. I know what and who I am, Worth, and so do you. Don’t you ever let him make you feel less for doing what you had to in order to survive.
I’m so fucking proud of you, so fucking honoured that you chose me time and time again.
You’re a warrior, a fucking Champion, and now a queen, and you’re starting to act like it.
Let him see that, let him see your scars, your story.
Don’t ever feel bad for not loving him, he has to earn that, and he hasn’t yet.
Sometimes, soulmate, family become strangers and strangers become family. ”
What can I say to that? He’s right after all.
He shows me it’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to hate the man who raised me and love a man who did not.
Major… sands, I miss him. I could use his presence right about now, but I can’t dwell on all I have lost or I will never surface again.
I have lost too much, yet looking into Dray’s eyes, I know I’ve gained just as much.
A family.
We’re fucked up, brutal, blood loving psychopaths, but we are a family…scars and all.
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