Page 142

“ Mi Alma , come on, you need to rest. I have a feeling we won’t be getting much of that after today,” Maxen calls, and I look over my shoulder to see him already stripped down to his briefs, waiting for me at the bedroom door.

I nod and twine my hand with Thorn’s heading to the bedroom.

He’s right, of course, and in there I can relax and let down my guard.

Soaking in their protection, just for a little bit.

Drax is already sprawled on the bed, waiting for me, so I climb up next to him, placing my back to his, and open my arms for Thorn who slips in next to me.

Maxen lies on the other side, turned to face the door.

With their heat around me, I close my eyes and force myself to sleep, their scents mixing, their bodies touching mine somewhere, and when Maxen reaches over resting his fingers on my stomach, I finally go to sleep.

I wake up suddenly, my heart racing, and sit up.

Thorn’s arm falls to my lap from where it was draped across me, his body curled around me from the side.

Drax is on my other side, face down in the bed, and his legs are entwined with mine.

Something is off. I search the room, my eyes landing on a figure in the chair.

From the bulk, I know it’s Maxen, but I don’t know why he’s over there.

He’s leaning forward, his arms dangling between his legs as he watches me, his face cast in shadows.

I slip from between my men, rising slowly, and head over to him.

He leans back as I approach him and I climb on the chair, straddling his lap with my legs either side.

“What’s wrong?” I whisper, so I don’t wake the others.

“Just watching you,” he rumbles, his arms coming around me and pulling me further down until my chest meets his.

“I never thought I would get to see you again, so I am memorising your face. I don’t want to look away in case this is all a dream.

I want to watch you all day every day, so you don’t disappear again. ”

Sighing, I lean into him, loving his touch.

Thorn’s and Drax’s deep snores are our lullaby as we hold each other.

“I don’t know what will happen out there, they might be stuck up, but their guards are fighters and have guns.

I need you to promise me something,” I whisper, and then look into his eyes, grabbing his cheeks and holding him still.

“Promise me you will fight like a Berserker. You don’t get to die on me, any of you.

This isn’t fucking Romeo and Juliet, I plan on us living a long time together, so no fucking tragic endings for us.

Promise me you will live,” I demand, knowing what I am asking is harsh and steep, but I need to hear it.

I couldn’t bear to lose any of them, which I know is stupid in times of war.

Life is so fragile and easily extinguished, but I’m asking him to fight the grim reaper for me and stay.

Stay with me, give me that life I dream of and we talked about.

He smiles, a sweet fucking one that wrecks my heart. “I won’t promise that, Mi Alma . If it comes to saving you and dying, you know what I will pick. I will promise you to live or die by your side though.”

Cutting my eyes away, I want to smack his fucking handsome face, to scream at him, but he pulls me closer, forcing my gaze back to his.

“I know it’s not what you want to hear, and I know you can protect yourself, but everyone needs someone to put their back to.

Everyone can be hurt or worse, killed, and I will not lose you.

This world needs you, they need you.” He nods at the men sleeping behind us.

“If I have to die to keep you alive, I will, I don’t fear death, I fear living in a world without you.

I know it’s hard for you to accept, you are so fucking strong and stubborn, but you can’t stop me, Tazanna Worth.

You are irreplaceable, I am not. You have four other men to love you and give you that life, I will make sure you stay alive for it. ”

I rip myself away from him and stomp into the living room.

I hear him silently following me and spin to see him, outraged.

“You think you are replaceable? You aren’t to me!

” I almost yell. “I can’t do this without you!

Don’t you see losing any one of you, losing you, would kill me?

You would die to protect me? Well, it goes both ways!

” I do shout this time, I hear the others’ snoring cut off, awake now, but I don’t care. Let them hear.

“ Mi Alma ,” Maxen says, but I turn away from him, pacing the room, staying away from his grabbing hands.

“You all say I’m this big fucking deal, that I’m the one the world needs, but I’m nothing without all of you.

I was fucking surviving, that’s it, kept fucking moving, and you-you came in and made me live again.

Forced me to feel, made me love you, and now you are saying you will die.

” I stop then, my fists clenched at my sides and my chest heaving.

“You can’t, you can’t die on me, Maxen, I won’t allow it. ”

He walks towards me, watching me closely like I’m a wild animal, then he cups my fists. “Okay. ”

“Okay?” I repeat.

“Okay, how about we promise each other something else instead. We promise each other to fight, to love each other always. Promise that no matter what, we never give up on each other, even when we don’t see eye to eye,” he says softly, staring into my eyes as I search his for the answers to this.

“Promise me, Mi Alma , promise me you will always love me.”

“I promise,” I reply raggedly.

“I promise too, I’ll never leave your back, that’s where I belong. Protecting it for the rest of our days,” he vows, placing his forehead to mine, and I close my eyes, the fear of losing him subsiding.

“I love you,” I whisper. That’s where this all stems from.

Love, I love him, and it would be so easy to walk away right now, to stop the pain that would come if I lost him, but that would be the weak woman’s way out, and I have never been weak or a coward.

It takes a strong person to love someone, and an even stronger one to stay when it gets hard and the future is uncertain.

Arms wrap around us both then, silently promising us too, and we stay in our huddle.

All our fears are on display, yet we choose to stay together through them all until a knock at the door interrupts us.

I grab a shirt, slip it on, and palm a knife as Maxen opens the door, peeking out before it’s pushed open and a guard strides in.

He ignores the men who are now surrounding him, ready to attack, and looks at me.

“I have a present from Strand,” is all he says and then steps back, revealing a man in a cape waiting there. I can’t make out much of his face or body because of the frumpy material so I frown, looking between him and the guard, until the man throws back the cape and I gasp.

“I thought he was lying to me, Angel, but you’re here. You are really here.”

I can’t seem to move, and my breath is caught in my throat as I stare into those grey eyes.

Ones I missed so much it hurts. It feels like I’m whole again, my heart exploding in my chest, and before I know it, we are both moving towards each other.

We clash hard, his hands fisting in my hair and yanking me to him as I smash my lips to his.

I bite hard on his lower lip in punishment and he groans, our kiss turning harsh as I wrench him to me, but he comes willingly.

His hands traces down my back and cups my ass, bringing me flush against him as our teeth clash.

He groans into my mouth and I swallow it down, yanking on his hair, pulling his head back, and breaking our kiss.

I stretch his neck at an awkward angle, making it hurt and his eyes dilate as his lips part.

He does not fight me as I hold him there.

Jax’s demons come out in his eyes as he watches me, waiting for whatever else I want to do to him.

“Angel,” he begs, wanting more, but I jerk his head back more and he hisses.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” I snap.

“Babe—” Drax starts, but I snap my eyes up to him, glaring at him and he shuts up, miming zipping his mouth.

I look back at Jax to see him smiling at me, loving the pain I give him like always.

“Had to make sure it was safe for you,” he offers, and I narrow my eyes on him, twisting my hand in his hair, tugging on the strands and he licks at his lip, panting.

“I knew you would come, I wanted to make sure you could get to us.”

Bending my head to his, I whisper against his lips, “You do shit like that again and I will strap you to my bed and leave you there, then I will make you watch as I fuck everyone but you, and still I will leave you there, not even touching you,” I purr, ensuring he hears the fucking warning, because I had been terrified when I didn’t see my damaged man waiting for me. My poor, silent demon.

He lets out a moan, pulling against my hand to tug on his hair, always ready for more from me, taking whatever I give out.

Whereas me and Dray fight a constant battle, Jax takes it all without reservation or judgement and begs for me.

I could cut him open and pull out his heart, and he would let me with a smile on his face and my name on his lips.

“I’d do it for you,” he replies, begging me with his eyes for more, for me to touch him.