Page 52

CHAPTER 52

SIENNA

Thank God Mrs. Ward is home and available to watch Zoey. As soon as I pull up beside her house, she opens the door and comes down the path to greet us. Zoey kicks her legs in excitement and yells, “Baking!”

“That’s right, my sweet. You ready to for The Great Nolan Bake-Off?”

I laugh and Zoey looks confused for a moment, then giggles just because we’re grinning at her.

Kissing her cheek, I wave goodbye and nervously jump back into the car. I have no idea where Zander is, which is why I park near the main admin building, then wander through campus asking for directions.

I’m now loitering near Athletes Hall and wondering how I’m supposed to get in.

When I asked at the admin building if they could please check Zander Donohue’s schedule so I could find out where he might be, they looked at me like I was crazy.

As I was leaving, kind of dejected, some girl with bright red curls said, “A lot of the athletes have lunch in Athletes Hall at this time of day.” Pulling out her phone, she showed me a map of campus, and I could have kissed her.

“Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome. Hope you find him.” She trotted down the stairs next to me, then wandered off, shouting, “Lani!” and waving as she ran off toward a gorgeous woman with long black hair and a stunning smile.

Threading her arm through hers, I watched as the two of them walked along, laughing with each other.

For a second, it made me think of Olivia and how I just ditched that friendship like it meant nothing to me.

I cringe.

How many times in my life have I just run away when things got too hard?

Ever since I was a baby, I’ve been on the move and shifting. It’s like my first instinct is to pack up and run when things get uncomfortable.

But I can’t run from this.

Wringing my hands together, I glance at various people passing by, hoping one of them will turn for Athletes Hall and let me in. I can see I need a key card, but I don’t want to stand right next to the door.

So, I’m waiting in a patch of sunshine, and the first person to come in or out of that place, I’m chasing down and?—

“Sienna?” I whip around at the sound of my name, and my insides deflate as I watch Russell walking toward me with a big smile. “What are you doing here? Where’s Zoey?”

“Uh, she’s with Mrs. Ward.” I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear and look to the pavement .

“You came to see me?” He glides his hand along my lower back and tries to pull me in, but I quickly jump to the side and shake my head. And that’s when his smile disappears, his expression hardening. “Then why are you here?”

“Because I need to speak with Zander, and I?—”

“What?” His tone gets sharp and snappy.

I internally cringe but stand my ground. “Do you know if he’s in there? Could you please check for me?” I point to the building behind Russell and swallow when I catch a glimpse of his thunderous expression.

“Are you getting back together with him?” His voice is low and strained, and part of me wants to just lie.

But I can’t keep trying to soften this truth for him. I just have to say it straight and clear.

Keeping my eyes off his face, I nod. “I hope so. We just need to work out a few things and?—”

He snatches my arm. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love him and need to make things right between us.”

I try to shake him off, but his hold on me tightens. “You are insane, you know that? He’s a complete asshole. You can’t keep going back to him like this. It’s not fair to Zoey. I won’t let you break up our family this way.”

My eyes flash as I find the courage to look right at him. “Russell, we’re not a family. You’re not Zoey’s father. Zander is. And I want to be with him, and I want her to have the privilege of being raised by him.”

I may as well have kicked him in the balls. His face is practically ashen as he lets me go and whispers, “How could you do this to me? Have I not taken good enough care of you guys? ”

“It’s not that. You’re great.” I close my eyes, rubbing my forehead and mumbling, “I just don’t love you in a romantic way. We can’t be a family like that, Russell. Even if Zander wasn’t in the picture, I’d be saying this to you.”

It takes every ounce of willpower to open my eyes and check his expression. His jaw is clenched and he’s shaking his head, looking beyond me like it’s taking everything to hold himself together.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I should have made this clearer a long time ago. You can’t just kiss me goodbye like I’m your wife or something, and you can’t keep making Zoey call you Dada. You’re her Uncle Rusty, and she loves you so much. But we need to make sure those roles are clearly defined.”

His nostrils flare as he stands there saying nothing.

“Russell, please, just?—”

He turns his back to me, stalking off, his shoulders hunched as he walks away.

Now is probably not the best time to ask if he could please come back and swipe me into Athletes Hall. Dammit.

Crossing my arms, I pinch my biceps, feeling completely awful. I hate that I’ve just hurt Russell after everything he’s done for us. But I had to tell him the truth, right? He obviously wasn’t getting it, and… I’ve done the right thing.

I just wish it didn’t hurt so much to do it.

Shuffling a little closer to Athletes Hall, I try to look through the glass doors to see if I can spot Zander, but they’re tinted and it’s impossible to?—

I gasp as the doors slide open and a broad, muscly man steps out of the building. He jolts back, moving to the side before crashing into me.

“Sorry,” I murmur, biting my lip and looking to the ground.

“That’s okay.” His smile is kind, his brown gaze looking me over like he’s trying to figure out why I’m here. “Can I help you?”

I suck in a breath, then quickly blurt, “I’m looking for Zander Donohue. And I swear I’m not some stalker-ish fangirl, and I know I could just call or text him, but I have to see him, you know? It’s really important. This conversation can’t happen over the phone. I need to be able to look into his eyes.” Okay, so now I’m rambling. “And it’s been the worst weekend, and we have to make things right, and I just need to find him and see him.”

He takes all that in with a slow nod, then tips his head and asks, “You couldn’t just call and get him to meet you somewhere?” The man’s low voice is soft and easy, and now I feel like a total idiot. “Or are you worried he won’t answer? I take it you guys had a fight or something?”

I nod, figuring I’ll just go with his assumptions rather than having to explain that I’ve actually been ghosting Zander and not the other way around.

Shit.

Rubbing my forehead, I look up with a desperate frown. “Do you know if he’s in there?”

The door pops open again, and a man with messy blond hair and tattoos rising up his neck saunters out. He gives me a friendly smile before looking at the kind man I’m talking to. “’Sup, bro?”

“Do you know if Zander Donohue’s in there?” he asks for me .

“Yeah, he’s at the football table by the window.” Mr. Tats gives me a curious look before darting a glance at his buddy.

“Think we should let her in?”

He smirks, checking me over one more time. “Oh, why not. Athletes Hall could use a little drama every now and then.” He raises his chin at the swipe pad. “Go on, Padre. Let her in.”

“Oh, really?” I perk up as the shorter man pulls out his card and swipes it. The doors pop open, and I dance through them, spinning back to smile and wave. “Thank you!” I put my hands together. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Mr. Tats laughs while the Padre guy gives me a kind smile. “Good luck.”

They turn and walk off while I nod and mumble to myself, “I’m gonna need it.”