Page 14

CHAPTER 14

ZANDER

I can sense the shift within her, like she’s about to turn and bolt back across the road. I reach for her hand, desperate to stop her retreat.

She tenses at my touch, and I squeeze her delicate fingers before letting go and practically begging, “Please, don’t go. It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.”

“Order for Sienna!” a lady calls.

She jolts and walks to the window, thanking the woman with a forced smile. I eye her carefully as she sips her iced tea and wonder if I’m going to be chasing this gorgeous blonde down the street when she sprints away from me yet again.

But she stays.

My heart pounds, my muscles coiled tight, ready to spring into action.

But she stays.

So I take a breath and reach for my coffee when my name is called .

Sipping the strong brew, I step up on the curb and beckon Sienna with a tip of my head. “Do you want to walk back to your place or go through the park?”

She clears her throat and steps around me, heading for the park. I let her go, walking a few paces behind her. It’s impossible not to admire her figure. She’s still so hot and beautiful. The jeans she’s wearing hug her ass perfectly, and I can still feel the shape of it in my hands. I want to pull her close. It’d be the most natural thing in the world, to wrap my arm around her.

But I lost that chance when I broke up with her, didn’t I?

Damn… I lost way more than I counted on.

Regret always sits heavy in my chest, but this afternoon it’s turning my heart into a punching bag. I can feel every fucking blow.

Glancing over her shoulder, Sienna lifts her shades and gives me a pointed look. Her blue eyes are still so sparkly, and I can’t help drinking her in. I must look like a drunken idiot as I dribble to a stop and just stand there gazing at her.

“Would you stop walking behind me? It makes me feel like I’m being stalked.”

“Sorry.” I pick up my pace. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me next to you.”

“It’s fine.” She huffs, making me feel like it’s anything but fine.

Shit. This walk is the worst fucking idea ever.

Why am I putting myself through this?

“So… how are your parents?” Sienna asks, although it’s obvious she doesn’t really want to know. It’s not hard to sense the low-lying anger she still has for them. She pr obably blames them for our breakup. They made no secret about not loving our relationship. They really did put the pressure on me, telling me repeatedly that I was too young for a serious relationship. In the end, I bought into their sales pitch.

Worst decision ever.

I close my eyes and force myself to reply in an even tone. “Yeah, they’re still doing that whacked-out ‘we’re divorced but can’t stay away from each other’ thing.”

She hisses. “Still fighting a lot?”

“Only when I’m there. I think. I don’t actually know.”

“You’re not in touch?”

I open my mouth to respond but can’t. Shit. She can’t know everything that went down my freshman year. In the end, I settle for a lame half-truth. “We still see each other for holidays, and Dad always comes to the big games he can get to.”

“I bet they watch every one of them.”

“Oh yeah, and I always get texts about those.” I nod. “Talking football with them is easy, so I tend to stick with that.”

“Okay.” She sips her tea, and I miss with an ache how easy it used to be to talk to her. I want that back so fucking badly.

“How are your parents?”

“On a cruise.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. When we first left Everett, we traveled around the country in our camper van. I finished school online, and then Zoey was born and we settled in Sacramento for a while, but then they got antsy and we hit the road again. ”

My stomach curdles, picturing Zoey as a newborn, all wrapped up in Sienna’s arms and I’m nowhere to be seen.

“We kept going for another six months or so, but I could tell my parents were ready for more. They wanted to get overseas and were talking cruises. I couldn’t imagine dealing with Zoey on a boat, so I encouraged them to go on their own. That’s why I moved in with Rusty.”

“Rusty?”

“Yeah, Russell.” She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. It still looks as silky as it used to be. My fingers itch to run through those long waves again. I loved it when she let me play with her hair. “That’s just his nickname. It pops out sometimes.”

A flash of jealousy rips through me with surprising speed and vehemence. I hate that she has anything to do with that fuckwit.

But I can’t let it show, right?

So I attempt an unaffected smile. “You guys seem pretty close.”

Her eyes dart to mine and she doesn’t confirm nor deny, causing this gnawing worry to munch away at my insides. Is there more to their relationship than she’s saying?

Shit, shit, shit!

They’re a couple.

Didn’t Russell say he’s the closest thing Zoey has to a father?

Fuck!

But I’m her dad. It’s me. I should be the one protecting her!

“How could you keep this a secret from me?” The question spurts out before I can stop it. I promised myself I wouldn’t accuse her, that I’d be calm and hear her out. I promised myself that I’d do everything I could to win my way back into Sienna’s life so I could have contact with Zoey.

But I can’t stop this emotion raging through me, and so I start snapping.

“She’s my daughter. I should have been involved. I could have supported you through your shitty pregnancy. I could have been there when she was born! You could have called me. Fuck, you could have texted, Sen!”

Her eyes round, and she steps away from my sudden venom. We’ve reached the grove of trees on the edge of the park, and she walks into the shade, her blonde hair losing its golden glow. Perching her sunglasses on top of her head, she spins to face me. I’ve never seen her blue eyes so ice cold before, and it’s unnerving. But it doesn’t kill the fiery wrath still heating my insides to boiling.

I’m enraged by the injustice of all this.

She didn’t even give me a fucking chance!

And I’m about to tell her that when she sucks in a breath, then says, “I wanted to tell you in person.”

Her voice is strained and quiet, but that doesn’t stop me flicking my arms in the air and barking, “So, why didn’t you come to see me?”

“I did come to see you!”

Her shout closes up my throat in a second. Cold dread spreads through my body like a virus as I stand there gaping at her.

She crosses her arms, her voice turning small and shaky. “I came to see you at Kelsey U.” Her chin bunches, her eyes glassing over. “But you were otherwise occupied.”

My heart starts thundering, ready to beat right out of my fucking chest.

What did she see?

What the fuck was I doing?

I press my hand against my rib cage, wondering if this is what a heart attack feels like. The look on her face right now is killing me.

“I can’t do this,” she rasps, sucking in a ragged breath and darting out from under the trees.

“Sparks.” Instinct has me reaching for her, but I stop midway when she snaps at me.

“No! You don’t get to call me that anymore. I’m not your Sparks. I’m not your anything! You made sure of that!”

A bitter ash fills my mind, and all I can do is stand there as she runs away from me, her blonde hair flying.

I have to let her go. I’m too afraid to chase her and find out what she saw me doing.

It must have been pretty fucking bad by the look on her face just now.

Closing my eyes, I dip my head and can only manage a rasping whisper. “Shit.”