Page 11

CHAPTER 11

SIENNA

I’m fighting major sobs by the time we get home, but I can’t let any of it show. Zoey’s turned into a total fusspot, no doubt vibing off my torrid emotions, and by the time I fold the stroller away, she’s transitioned into a full-blown meltdown. I need to feed her and get her down for a nap, but that’s not going to happen when she’s in this state, so I do the only thing I can.

I break routine and draw her a bath.

I might pay for it later. Routine seems to be everything to my toddler, but as soon as the bubbles start rising in the tub, Zoey’s tears dry up and she gets excited for bathtime.

Helping her in, I kneel beside her, running my hands through the water while she drives her toy boat through the bathtub ocean and I play duck and cover with my memories.

Zander’s face as I glared up at him, hating him for what he did to us. Hating him for breaking my heart. Hating him for that day he destroyed everything .

Before I can stop myself, my mind rockets back to Kelsey U and the only time I ever went there…

It had been two weeks since I found out I was pregnant. I’d managed to stop crying but was still throwing up on the regular. Even though I felt like death, I couldn’t let that stop me from delivering the news to Zander. And I couldn’t do it over the phone.

So, loaded up with travel sick bags, Dad and I hit the road and slowly made our way to Kelsey U. It took six hours, thanks to multiple stops, but I arrived in one piece. It was after eight by the time I got there, and Dad was already on his phone searching for motels we could spend the night in while I sat in his truck, summoning my courage.

I hadn’t spoken to Zander since our final night together. We both thought a clean break would be better, and I wanted him to be able to focus on his football and studies. This was his chance to really shine. I wouldn’t get in the way of that.

So, I kept my distance.

But I couldn’t not tell him he was going to be a father.

I wouldn’t expect anything from him. Mom, Dad, and I had discussed it at length. They were going to support me, and Zander could be as involved or uninvolved as he wanted to be. I wouldn’t make him feel guilty or anything.

I was keeping the baby, and he had a right to access, but I wasn’t going to be demanding money or any of that. Thanks to my mom’s inheritance, my parents were really well off, and we didn’t need the financial support. I just wanted him to know.

Part of me knew that he’d be there for me. Zander was the kind of guy who stepped up, and I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to feel about that. I couldn’t deny a small fluttering of joy. Would this baby bring us back together?

Oh man, I wanted that.

But only if he did too.

I had to prepare myself for the fact that he might want minimal involvement.

Nausea bubbled inside me, and I was seconds away from reaching for another sick bag.

“Do you want me to come in with you?” Dad softly asked.

I shook my head. “No. It’s okay. He probably doesn’t want an audience while he processes this bombshell.”

Dad’s smile was soft with understanding as he tucked the hair behind my ear. “I know this is terrifying, but you’re gonna get through this. Mom and I will be there every step of the way.” He cradled my cheek. “No matter what’s happened in my life, I want you to know that you will forever be my greatest achievement.”

Tears lined my lashes before I could stop them.

“And that’s how you’ll feel when you meet your baby. Being a parent is the best thing in the world. And you’re gonna do great, whether Zander’s part of it or not.”

“Thanks, Dad.” My expression buckled and I leaned toward him, resting my head on his shoulder. He kissed my hair and told me everything was going to be fine… and after another minute or so of reassurance, I found the courage to open the passenger door .

Walking away from Dad’s truck was hard work, but I made it.

I made it all the way to Zander’s dorm, actually. I had to ask a few people if they knew him, and it was a little disconcerting to find that most of the people who did were girls. They blushed and giggled when I mentioned his name or gave me knowing little smirks that were unsettling as hell. But one of them let me into his building, so I was grateful for that.

By the time I reached the third floor, my stomach was in chaos. Zander was obviously very popular, and I should be happy for him that he’d fit in so easily, but I couldn’t shake this sense of foreboding.

And I was right.

That foreboding was trying to warn me of something… and I should have listened.

Forcing my brain back to the present, I refuse to relive what I saw.

But I can’t seem to skip past myself tumbling down the stairs, stumbling outside, and throwing up in the closest bush before running to Dad’s truck.

I wrenched the door open and jumped in, scaring the crap out of Dad, who had decided to take a quick nap while he waited for me.

“How’d it go?” His voice had been groggy as he blinked and came to.

“Get me out of here,” I sobbed.

“Sienna, what happened?”

My stomach convulsed and jerked, making it nearly impossible to talk. “Just d-drive, Dad. Please! Get me out of here!”

The wails I let out after that echo through my mind, and I blink, desperately trying to clear them. Desperately trying to focus on Zoey, who is now making engine sounds with her lips, stealing my heart like she always does with her chubby little cheeks and big blue eyes.

“I love you.” I brush the back of my finger down her cherub face and block out the rest.

I block out the ugly feelings bubbling away in my chest and focus on the one shining light in my life.

This little girl, who I will do anything for.

This little girl I have to protect and cherish.

Zander may have torn my heart to shreds, but I guess I should be grateful to him for giving me her.