Page 30

CHAPTER 30

ZANDER

Falling asleep with Sienna in my arms feels like home. That might be a sappy thing to think, but it’s true.

I can’t believe I fucking cried in front of her, but that was the most emotional sex I have ever had. It was like our souls were reconnecting or something. I didn’t realize how much I needed it. Being inside her was a cleansing ritual.

She let me be a part of her again. Even after everything she saw.

Shit, she can never find out about the other stuff. I won’t put her through that.

She’s forgiven me, and I need to cherish that.

Fuck, I’m never letting her go again. Even if I don’t deserve her, I’m going to selfishly cling, because she’s my woman and I can’t lose her.

Drifting in and out of sleep, I keep rousing into a semiconscious state and feeling her beside me. Running my hand around her naked body, I reassure myself she’s not an illusion before letting my mind float away again .

By the time soft baby cries rouse me, I’m on my side with Sienna tucked perfectly against me. Her ass is nestled into my junk, my knees resting beneath hers. My hand is under her right boob, and I’m in fucking heaven.

Except that someone’s crying.

Wait.

My eyes snap open, my body instantly alert as I jerk up straight and hone into Zoey’s soft blubbering.

Sienna groans, coming to and pulling back the covers.

“S’okay. Mama’s coming,” she mumbles, sounding half-drunk as she sits up and flicks on the light.

I squint against the sudden glare and can’t help an instant smile as my eyes adjust. Sienna’s still gloriously naked, and I skim my fingers down her back as she sits on the edge of the bed and obviously tries to wake herself up enough to attend to our daughter.

“Will it freak her out if I go?” I surprise myself by asking.

Sienna looks over her shoulder and blinks at me.

I blink back, wondering if I should backtrack, but now that the thought is out there, I really want to follow through with it.

Zoey’s soft cries increase, and Sienna’s forehead wrinkles. “I’m not sure.”

“Can I try?” I sit up, already reaching for my boxer briefs.

I’ve pulled them on before she can reply and move to the door hopefully.

What the hell am I doing?

Why am I so desperate to go and comfort my crying daughter ?

I never thought I’d take to fatherhood this easily, but I’m standing in Sienna’s doorway like an eager puppy.

“Um… okay. Yeah, I mean, Russell sometimes beats me to it, so having a man walk into her room isn’t completely out of the ordinary.” She flicks her hand in the air. “She’s just never seen you in the middle of the night before. But if she starts screaming, I’ll come bail you out.”

“Thanks.” I grin, darting into the hallway and following Zoey’s cries, shaking off the idea that Russell’s the closest thing she has to a dad right now.

Well, fuck that!

I’m here, and I’m not planning on going anywhere.

Zoey’s room is just down from Sienna’s, and I creep in, the soft glow from the nightlight making it easy to find her.

She’s standing on the side of her crib, holding the railing and bawling. Her curls are a reckless mess and tears are staining her cheeks, but the second she sees me, she stops crying and gapes, like she doesn’t even know who I am.

“Hey, Zoey.” I greet her gently, hoping my voice isn’t too rough or deep.

Wiping her hand down her cheek, she blinks at me and softly whimpers, “Foobawl.”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Resting my hand on the railing next to her little fingers, I bend down and smile at her.

She eyes me up for a long, thick beat, then whispers, “Mommy.”

“You want Mommy?”

“Mommy. ”

“Okay.” I straighten up and hold out my hands. “Is it okay if I pick you up and take you to her?”

She instantly raises her arms, and I pick her up, nestling her against me and cupping the back of her head as I walk her out of the room.

Her cheek falls against my shoulder, and her snuggly warmth fills my chest with a sensation that is off the charts. I’ve never felt so protective of another human being before. I’ve never felt this kind of affection.

Splaying my hand across her back, I hold her close and lightly kiss her cheek. This little bundle in my arms is owning me, and I walk back to Sienna’s room as slowly as I can, not wanting to let this precious girl go.