Page 40

CHAPTER 40

ZANDER

Zoey’s stench permeated the entire upper floor. It didn’t help that it took me forever to change her diaper. It was the foulest thing I’ve ever done, and I ended up breaking the first diaper by ripping the tabs too hard. Then she got all wriggly on me, and I had to chase her naked little butt around my room before I could snag her and get her giggling ass into a fresh diaper.

I was exhausted by the end of it all, and Carson was livid.

He left the house in a huge huff, complaining about the smell. I managed to cut his rant short with a few gruff words. I didn’t want him scaring Zoey or making her feel bad.

“Just get that shit out of here!” he whisper-barked in my face before thundering down the stairs and slamming the front door shut.

Zoey flinched and her bottom lip began to wobble, but I quickly distracted her by dancing her down the stairs and outside. We played in the backyard for a bit, running through leaves and then trying to find the biggest one we could. I turned it into a fan, and Zoey jumped and giggled at my feet, reaching up for it and wanting to fan me back.

I crouched low and grinned at her as she fanned me with the leaf, then managed to smear my face with dirt.

I was just wiping it off when my phone started buzzing. Assuming it was Sienna, I answered it without taking my eyes off Zoey.

“How’s it going, Mommy?” I wanted to keep my voice bright and upbeat despite the tension in my chest. I sure as shit hoped Wily and Tyrell were protecting her.

“It’s your father, and this is a video chat. Why am I staring at your cheek right now?”

Oh shit!

Pulling the phone away, I pop to my feet, blinking at my father on the screen and quickly trying to cover my faux pas. “Oh… uh… hi. Hi, Dad. How’s it going?”

His eyes narrow, and I put on my best smile before stealing a glance at Zoey, who is now collecting leaves like a bouquet.

She is seriously the cutest.

“I wanted to go over your game yesterday.”

“Yeah, I know.” I wince. “It’s just not a great time right now.”

“Why?”

“Well, I’m… busy.”

“You look like you’re standing in your backyard. Why, I have no idea, but I’m guessing you’ve got time.”

“Yeah, I just, uh?—”

“Now, the game.” Dad gets right down to business while I scratch the back of my neck and wait for the hammer to fall. “Thankfully, your second half was golden, but what the fuck was up with that pass in the first quarter? Zander, it was just plain embarrassing, and I?—”

“Foobawl, look!” Zoey yells, running over to me with a bouquet of leaves. Her expression is so triumphant, I can’t help an adoring grin…

And my father sees it all.

“Zander, what’s going on? What the hell is foobawl?”

“I am.” I let out a soft laugh, then swallow, my insides turning to cooked spaghetti when I look at my phone screen. Dad’s stern face has always been intimidating. Even as an adult I find it unnerving, but he’s miles away, and fuck it… I’m just gonna have to tell him the truth.

Why delay the inevitable, right?

With a swallow, I explain. “Zoey calls me football.”

I wink down at her and she grins, her nose scrunching just the way Sienna’s does.

“Who the hell is Zoey?” There’s a dangerous edge to Dad’s tone, but I try not to let it rattle me.

Licking my bottom lip, I face the one person in my life who I know will hate this the most and just say it. “Zoey’s my daughter.”

Dad goes instantly pale. I can practically see the blood draining from his face as I get out all the details he probably doesn’t want to hear.

“Sienna had a kid. I didn’t know she was pregnant. I only found out a few weeks ago, and?—”

“Wait,” Dad snaps.

I cringe, holding my breath even though I hate myself for feeling like a little kid about to get bawled out by his old man .

“Let me dial your mother in.”

Shit. Well, this just keeps getting better, doesn’t it?

Clenching my jaw, I crouch down when Zoey starts tugging on my pant leg and try to hide my angst with a broad smile. “Those are so pretty.”

“Fowers!” She holds them out.

“Leaves,” I correct her. “Yellow and red leaves.”

“Lellow.”

“That’s right.” Rubbing her back with a proud grin, I then point behind her. “Do you think you can find me some more yellow leaves?”

“Lellow?”

“Yeah, yellow.”

She nods and skips off, tripping over and landing on her hands and knees. I dash over to help her, but she just giggles and gets back to her feet, skipping off again to collect yellow leaves for me.

I love the way she talks. Lellow . Seriously. Too cute.

“What’s going on? Why are you calling me into your football debrief?” Mom’s face appears on the screen.

I wave to her. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hi, sweetheart. Your father’s not riding you too hard about that pass, is he?”

“Of course I’m not.” Dad stands up for himself, and I don’t say a damn thing.

My heart’s racing too hard as I wait for the impending meltdown.

“It’s not even about that, Elise. Our son has some important news to share, and I think you better sit down.”

“Well, that’s never a good sign,” Mom murmurs as she pulls out a kitchen stool. “Zander, what’s going on?”

“I have some big news. ”

“That you found out weeks ago and didn’t bother to tell us,” Dad snips.

Working my jaw to the side, I let out a dry laugh. “It’s not like it’s the easiest news to share, Dad.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t say anything. Something this big?”

“What is it!” Mom ends up barking. “I’m dying here. What? Tell me what’s going on.”

Pulling in a short breath, I let it out and rush to say, “Sienna got pregnant just before I left for Kelsey U.”

“What?” Now Mom’s the one who’s going pale.

“She didn’t tell me about it, but a few weeks ago, I found out that… I have a daughter. Her name’s Zoey, and she’s?—”

“You have a daughter?” Mom interrupts me. “You’re a father? You’re a… you’re a…” She lets out a little screech, her face going instantly red. “You did exactly what we warned you against doing!”

I close my eyes, then force them back open so I can check on Zoey.

She’s crouched down, singing to herself while hugging a pile of leaves to her chest.

“I can’t believe you got Sienna pregnant.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” I mutter.

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell you,” Dad seethes. “Why would she keep something like that from you?”

“Was breaking your heart not enough?”

“Mom, I broke her heart, too, okay?”

She huffs like that shouldn’t matter.

“Listen, you guys, I know this is a lot to process, which is why I hadn’t told you yet. I’ve been trying to figure out the best time… and what to say. I know I did ex actly what you didn’t want me to do, but it’s happened. And now I want to step up and do the right thing.”

“Don’t you dare give up football.” Dad points at me.

“I’m not planning on it,” I reply with forced calm. “Sienna and I are going to figure out a way to make this work.”

Mom’s lips part with horror. “You’re getting back together with her?”

“I love her.” I give the screen a pointed look. “I always have. And we’re in the process of mending everything. Just trust me, okay? No history is being repeated, I swear.”

“I can’t believe this.” Dad pinches his nose. “You have a kid now. Responsibilities. How are you going to make it all work?”

“I don’t know yet. I just know that I have to try. I can have both. Sienna and I are going to work it out so I can still be a pro football player and a father… and?—”

“Your game better not slip like it did in high school,” Dad interrupts me. “She totally distracted you, and you can’t afford to let that happen again.” His expression bunches into an even sharper frown. “Wait, is that why you played so badly in the first quarter last game? Was she there? Was she?—”

“Dad! Stop it!”

My parents both blink as I raise my voice at them. I haven’t done that in a long time, but enough of this bullshit!

“You have to trust me. I’m older now, and I can figure this out. I don’t need your judgment and constant ‘words of advice.’”

They both frown at me like I’ve just offended them, and I sigh, my shoulders sinking as I let my parents process this shitty conversation.

“Foobawl.” Zoey comes running back. “Lellow!” She’s waving the leaf in the air like she’s just found gold.

I crouch down with a grin. “That one is really yellow. Good job.” I hold my hand up for a high five, and she slaps me some skin before leaning against my leg.

“Can we see her?” Mom’s voice is suddenly soft, almost vulnerable.

I hesitate, wondering how Sienna will feel about that.

But it’s not like we can hide Zoey forever, right?

I give my parents a stern look and murmur, “Be nice,” before turning the camera to face my little girl.

Dad’s grumblings of “I’ll course I’ll be nice” fade to dust as the camera lands on Zoey’s cute face.

She stares back at my parents, then waves. “Hi. Me Zoey.”

“Oh my gosh, she looks exactly like Monica did.” Mom’s voice is all breathy before she lets out a watery laugh and waves back. “Hi, Zoey. I’m Zander’s mommy.”

Zoey stares back at the screen while my dad starts blubbering. “She’s beautiful.”

“I know, right?” I kiss Zoey’s curls and smile down at her.

“Just like Monica.” Dad’s voice catches, and he starts blinking.

What the hell?

Is he about to cry?

I’ve never seen my dad this emotional before, and it’s freaking me out.

“Uh… guys, are you?—”

“How old are you, Zoey, sweetheart?” Mom’s smiling at my daughter, tinkling her fingers and giggling when Zoey holds up her fingers.

I correct the amount she’s showing. “Two. You’re two.”

“Me two.” She nods, then holds up the leaves she’s been collecting. “Lellow!”

“You’ve been collecting yellow leaves?” Mom is fully engaged now, and it’s kind of funny listening to her high-pitched voice and expressive demeanor. “Aren’t you a clever girl.”

Zoey grins at the phone, then looks at me with a worried frown. “Why cwying?”

Glancing at my dad, I let out a soft laugh and explain, “Those are happy tears. My dad’s just really happy to meet you.”

Dad blinks and sniffs, swiping a finger under his nose. “Does she know you’re her father?” He’s asking me but using the same tone my mother just was. Keeping this all light and playful.

“She’s getting there.” I kiss the top of her curls again, and Mom lets out this soft whimper.

“She’s so cute.”

“Yeah, I know. You’ll have to come meet her in person sometime.”

“When?” Mom jumps off her stool, running over to the calendar on the wall. “Can we come one weekend?”

“That’s a long way to go for just the weekend, Elise.”

“Oh, Brett, stop. It’s just a two-hour flight and a ninety-minute car ride.”

“And the first forty minutes to even get to the airport.”

“It’s not too far!”

“And he’s got football. We can’t get in the way of that. ”

“Oh!” Mom lets out a little growl, and I quickly cut through the brewing argument.

“Why don’t you guys come for Thanksgiving? I’m playing on the Friday, but we could see you on Thursday maybe. I’ll need to check with Sienna first. And if you come, you have to promise me you’ll be nice to her.”

“Of course we’ll be nice to her.” Mom looks offended.

I shoot a dry look at the phone. “Yeah, because you were always so warm and inviting when we dated in high school.”

Mom opens her mouth to counter me, but she’s got nothing.

They were just plain mean to my girl back then, and I can only imagine how she’ll react if they show up in Nolan for a weekend.

“Let me just talk to her and I’ll get back to you. If it’s not Thanksgiving, then we’ll try to find another time, okay?”

“You’re not going to deny us access to our granddaughter, are you?” Dad asks.

“I just introduced you to her.” I bulge my eyes at him and am already dreading their visit.

But then Dad catches Zoey’s eye and blows her a kiss. She giggles and blows one right back. Then Mom gets in on the action, and I crouch there until my knees start aching while Zoey attempts to catch wayward kisses.

“Zan-Man, where you at?” Tyrell calls through the house, and I quickly stand, bringing Zoey with me.

“Coming!” Looking at the screen, I’m not about to go into the details of Sienna’s morning, so I cut the call short. “Guys, we’ve gotta go.”

“Byeeee!” Zoey starts waving .

My parents wave back and blow more kisses, and I have to hang up on them because they won’t end the call.

Racing back into the house, I place Zoey and her handful of leaves on the dining room floor and open my arms for Sienna.

She rushes into them, resting her head in the crook my neck while I share a look with Wily and Tyrell.

Tyrell shakes his head, looking pissed as he trudges up the stairs with Zoey’s portable crib. At least I think that’s what that is.

Wily appears with an armload of toys and gives me a sad smile that quickly morphs into a playful grin when Zoey bounds toward him yelling, “Amimals!”

“Are these yours?” Wily sounds so surprised it makes Sienna laugh, and I ease away from her, smoothing back her hair.

“How bad was it?”

“It sucked.” Her smile is tumultuous, and I brush my lips across hers and pull her back into a hug.

“It’s over now. We can just switch off and enjoy the rest of the day together.” I nibble my way along her jawline and lightly suck her neck. “And we’ve got the whole night too.”

Sienna tightens her hold on me, then starts to softly giggle as I kiss and tease her neck until I find that ticklish spot I discovered when she was seventeen.