Page 23

CHAPTER 23

SIENNA

It’s Sunday morning. The sun is shining, and I feel like total shit.

Zoey had such a restless night. It didn’t help that I was in a foul mood. I think she was vibing off my angst, which stopped her from relaxing into her evening routine, and then she was up and down like a yo-yo half the night.

I hope she’s not getting sick.

I checked her temperature this morning just in case, but she seems happy and bright despite her lack of sleep, so it’s just me who feels like I’ve been hit by a bus.

When I shuffled out to the kitchen this morning, Russell took one look at me and sent me back to bed. I took him up on the offer. He’s around all day, and I may as well take advantage.

But I can’t sleep.

I’ve tried for nearly an hour, tossing and turning in my bed. My brain won’t switch off.

I keep reliving my last conversation with Zander.

His phone number has been burning a hole in my pocket since Wednesday, but I still haven’t put it into my phone. I can’t call or text him… can I?

No! You don’t need him. He’s just…

Just what?

Zoey’s father.

The guy who broke my heart.

The one who came back for me.

Shit. Sitting up, I scrape my fingers through my hair and gaze out the window.

“He came back for me,” I whisper, struggling to believe it.

The guy I spotted tongue-deep in a three-way didn’t seem the kind who would miss me.

But the man who held my daughter on Wednesday and calmed her down? Yeah, he was the one I fell for. And maybe that’s who he is now. Maybe his first semester in college was a train wreck, and then he found his way again?

Or maybe transferring to Nolan U was a fresh start for him or something.

I don’t know.

But… can I forgive him?

Can I let him back into my life?

“He came back for me.” I flop down, my lips twitching as I stare up at the ceiling and play with the ends of my hair.

Things would have been so different if I’d known that.

I gave him no chance to redeem himself. And a part of me feels bad for that.

Which is probably why I’ve been obsessing over him. Probably why I secretly watched his away game yesterday. They lost, which put me in a foul mood—don’t ask me why.

It’s probably why I can’t fall asleep right now.

Because he’s consuming me.

Throwing back the duvet with a huff, I jump out of bed and tie my hair up in a messy knot before heading out to the kitchen.

I want to check on Zoey. Her cute little smile will distract me and make me feel better. I’m already running through the day ahead. It’s so nice out there, we’ll definitely have to get to the park. And maybe I’ll take a ball this time. She might like kicking it around. How adorable would that be?

Zipping up my hoodie, I’m about to round the corner into the kitchen when I hear Zoey’s voice and go still, leaning my head against the wall and soaking in her sweet sound with a smile.

“Chochos.”

“You want more Cheerios?” Russell asks. I love the tone he uses with her. It’s always so gentle and sweet.

“Chochos,” Zoey confirms her request.

“Can I get some manners?”

“Peeeeeese, Unca Russy.”

He laughs, and I can hear the box shaking. “You know, you can just call me Dada if it’s easier to say. I don’t mind.”

I ping away from the wall, frowning when Zoey says, “Dada.”

He might not mind, but I sure as hell do!

Whipping around the corner, I paste on a smile and brush my hands through Zoey’s curls .

“Mommy!” She grins up at me, a Cheerio perched between her little fingers.

“Hey, cowgirl.” I wink at her, and she giggles.

Russell gives me a quizzical frown and I ignore it, wanting to clarify something first.

“It’s Uncle Rusty, by the way. Or Uncle Russell. It’s not Dada.”

He shrugs, a red hue splashing over his cheeks as he lets out a soft laugh. “Uncle Russell is a mouthful.”

“Then she can just call you Rusty or Russell.”

“Dada’s easier to say,” he mutters into his coffee cup.

“But you’re not her dad.”

His gaze snaps to mine, his smile disappearing as he walks toward me and leans in so close, I can feel his hot coffee breath against my cheek. “I’m the closest thing she’s got.”

I lean away with a forced smile. “I don’t want to confuse her.”

He growls in his throat and frowns down at me. “She better not be calling that asshole Daddy.”

“Russell.” I quickly cover Zoey’s ears. “Language.”

“If I’m not her dad, then he sure as shit isn’t.” He spits out the words before turning back to the toaster.

My hands shake at his vehemence, my stomach vibrating. I am so not up for this shit today. What the hell?

I know he’s annoyed with Zander over the way he treated me, but still. His reaction seems a little extra.

Smiling down at Zoey, who seems to be picking up the awkward vibe and starting to fuss, I get busy wiping her hands and face. She resists me at every turn and is soon squawking. I pull her out of her highchair and pop her on the ground.

She toddles away from me, over to her set of blocks and the zoo animals she was playing with earlier.

Thumping down onto her padded butt, she gets lost in a world of pretend while I prepare myself some toast and try to avoid Russell’s gaze. He keeps checking on me, but I don’t really feel like talking to him right now.

After a few awkward moments, he lets out a soft sigh and comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder.

His whiskers scratch my neck, and I tense.

He doesn’t seem to notice, his voice dropping to a soft lilt. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight or anything. I’m just trying to protect you from getting hurt. I really care about you and Zoey.”

“I know.” I rest my hands on the edge of the counter, leaning forward and trying to subtly pull out of his octopus grasp.

“I can’t see you go through that heartache again. And I won’t see Zoey dragged into it. She’s too important. Too precious. She deserves a stable, trouble-free home.”

“I know.” I nod and step sideways, wriggling free of his tentacles. I don’t like it when he acts and talks like we’re a couple.

He’s family, sure. But I’m not in love with him, and he will never be Zoey’s father.

Moving to the fridge, I take my time making my morning coffee and wait until Russell has basically finished eating before sitting down.

“I was thinking I’d take Zoey to the playground today. Give you a little alone time,” he tells me .

Again, I tense. I’m not sure why. He’s done it plenty of times before, and I’m usually grateful for it. But him wanting Zoey to call him Dada has really rattled me, and I don’t want her alone with him right now.

Skimming my finger around the lip of my coffee mug, I try to keep my tone casual. “Yeah, I was thinking of taking her as well. I’m happy to do it.”

“I can come with.” He leans against the counter, grinning at me.

I take in his hopeful smile and force out a laugh. “Cool. I might actually text one of the moms from the playgroup I went to as well. Her son, Dayton, got along great with Zoey. Maybe they can meet us there.”

“Oh, uh… sure.” Russell doesn’t love that. I can tell by the way he pulls back from me and gets busy cleaning up the kitchen. “Hanging out with a bunch of moms. Sounds awesome.”

I laugh at his sarcastic quip. “Don’t feel like you have to come. I’m happy to take Zoey out for a playdate, and then we can hang later. Maybe after her nap we could build the train set. She always loves playing trains with you.”

“Yeah, maybe that’s better.” He nods, looking disappointed but not saying so.

Rising from my seat, I take my plate over to him. “Thanks.” His sudsy hand brushes against mine, and he gazes down at me with an intensity that’s kind of unnerving.

He almost looks like he wants to kiss me or something, so I quickly dart out of the kitchen with excuses of getting ready .

He, of course, helps with Zoey, and the stroller is soon fully loaded on the sidewalk.

“Wave to Uncle Rusty,” I tell Zoey, and she glances up at the door, grinning and blowing kisses.

“Goodbye, sweet girl. I love you,” he calls after us.

“Laloo!” she shouts back.

I push the stroller a little faster, pulling out my phone and quickly texting Fiona.

She gets back to me within a minute, apologizing that they’re already busy with a family function today and can’t meet up, but she’d love to another time.

I’m not actually that disappointed, although I kind of am for Zoey. She probably would have loved to play with Dayton.

With a little sigh, the thought that maybe I should call Russell and let him know bounces through my brain, but I’m kind of needing a little space from him right now.

Why?

Because he’s getting too close.

Because I can’t stop thinking about Zander, and being around Russell makes me feel like that’s a huge mistake.

Shit. I don’t know what to do.

Zander was so sweet with Zoey on Wednesday. He deserves to see her again, doesn’t he?

Plus, the Cougars lost yesterday, so he’s probably feeling a little salty, and Zoey might cheer him up.

Are you really doing this?

My stomach hitches as I reach for the piece of paper in my back pocket… and quickly realize I’m not wearing the right pair of pants.

“Shit,” I mumble under my breath.

“Pak, Mommy? ”

“Yeah, I thought we could go to the park. I was hoping I could arrange for your little friend Dayton to join us, but he’s busy.”

“Aw.” Zoey pouts, holding Tony the Pony against her chest. She’s been going for that stuffed animal ever since Wily called her a cowgirl. “Wanna pay.”

“I know. But I’ll be there to play with you.”

“Yeah.” She sounds so disappointed it’s hard not to be offended.

But I laugh it off, knowing she’s only two. “So, who do you want to play with, then?”

I’m expecting her to say Uncle Rusty and am already resigning myself to the fact that I’ll have to call him and he’ll no doubt meet us at the park with a gleeful grin.

Pulling out my phone with a frown, I’m about to unlock it when Zoey surprises me.

“Wywee.”

I stop the stroller and peer down at her. “Wily?”

She nods. “Me wanna pay Wywee.”

“You want to play with Wily?”

“Yeah.” She sits up, looking all enthusiastic as she holds up her horse. “Yeeha!”

I laugh. “You know we’re going to the park, though, right? He’s not buying you ice cream today. There’s no horsey at the park.”

“Wywee!” she shouts, hugging her toy horse. “I wanna pay Wywee!”

“Okay, okay.” I rub her arm to calm her down, then crouch beside the stroller. “Thing is, I don’t know where Wily and Zander live. I think they call it Football Frat, but I’m not sure.”

Zoey nods, leaning toward me like I can totally nail this “Find Wily” mission. Touching my cheek with her little hand, she gives me an emphatic nod. “Mommy fine Wywee.”

“Okay.” I nod. “I’m gonna try.” Standing tall, I grab the handles of the stroller and start walking toward the Nolan U campus.

I stop the first person I see and ask if they know where the frat house that some football guys live in is. She doesn’t know, but the next guy mutters that it’s on Greek Row.

“Where’s that?” I call after him.

“Google it!” he shouts over his shoulder, and I try but come up empty-handed.

There’s no official street named Greek Row, and I push the stroller forward in frustration, wondering how long I should pursue this thing. The park comes into view, and I think about abandoning my quest and just taking her to the playground.

But my little girl will be so disappointed if we don’t find Wily.

She’s happily kicking her legs and singing to her horse. It’s kind of adorable, so I press on, and two people later, I find someone who is actually helpful.

“Yeah, I know Football Frat.” She grins at me, and for a second, I have that ugly flash of Kelsey U and all the smiling girls I passed on the way to Zander’s dorm room. “It’s about two doors down from my place.”

“And where’s that?” I smile back her.

She laughs. “Head down this street and take your first left, opposite the park, then turn right when you hit the Stop sign and it’ll be the…” Closing her eyes, she does a quick count in her head. “Sixth house along? Ma ybe the seventh. It’s the one with the Harley Davidson parked out front, and if that’s not there, just look for guy trucks. The place is always surrounded by them.”

“Okay.” I nod, trepidation taking me out as I turn and start pushing Zoey toward Football Frat.

Shit, what am I doing?

I second-guess myself the entire way there and nearly bail when I get to that Stop sign, but then I look down the street and see all those manly trucks the woman was talking about.

With my breath on hold, I push Zoey forward, looking for a Harley Davidson. I don’t see it, but I don’t have to because the blond giant appears around the side of the house. The second he spots us, his face lights up with a big grin.

“Cowgirl!” He raises his arms in greeting.

“Wywee!” Zoey starts wrestling against her restraints.

I quickly move forward to help her with the buckle.

As soon as she’s free, she launches herself out of the stroller, landing in a pile on the front lawn before jumping to her feet and running toward the gentle giant.

“Wywee!” She giggles when he picks her up, throwing her in the air and making her squeal.

I stand there, gripping the stroller and watching with a teary smile.

How cute are they?

“Sienna?” Zander’s voice snags my attention, and I glance toward the front door, seeing him standing there in sweats and a hoodie—no shirt underneath. His hair’s wet and his feet are bare, and holy sex on a stick. He is so fine .

“Are you okay?” His concern melts me, and I quickly nod and smile up at him.

“Just thought we’d swing by for a visit.”

My mouth pools with desire, a hot burn lancing me as I watch him walk down the front steps, a huge smile spreading across his face.

Oh man, he is so happy to see me.

My heart flails dangerously, begging me to run into his arms. Would he pick me up the way he used to? Could I wrap my legs around him? Would his hands grab my ass the way I loved so much? Would he hold me close and kiss me? Make me feel like the only other human on the planet?

Stop it, Sienna.

I force my eyes to the ground, but then have to look back up again when I hear Zander say, “Is that Zoey?”

Zoey turns with a gasp, her face lighting with excitement when she sees him. “Foobawl!” Wriggling out of Wily’s hold, she tries to get to Zander.

Wily laughs and launches her through the air. Zander’s eyes bulge, and he quickly catches her, then growls at his roommate. “She’s not a football, man. Be careful with her.”

A smile twitches my lips as Wily gives his captain a bashful apology, then turns to check that I’m not mad.

I smile at him but can’t take my eyes off Zander and Zoey for long. She’s perched in his arms, playing with the zipper of his hoodie while she chats away. She’s talking so fast it’s impossible to understand her. She’s not even saying proper words, just mimicking what Mom and I do when we see each other and are catching up in fast-forward. The first part of our phone calls are usually spurted out in a rush. I recognize Zoey’s intonation and am fighting my laughter as Zander watches her, nodding like he totally gets what she’s saying.

“You know?” Zoey tips her head, her words exactly the same as mine.

“Yeah.” Zander nods. “Absolutely.”

She grins and nods, obviously glad they’ve cleared that up.

Zander shoots me a look over the top of her head, and I can’t contain my laughter anymore.

With a soft snort, I walk around the stroller and stand beside them just as a good-looking Black guy comes strolling out of the house.

He’s lean and so obviously strong. His shirtless body hides nothing, and I can see his ripped muscles. Beside him is a willowy woman with long strawberry blonde hair and perfectly applied makeup. She’s wearing a miniskirt and tank top that shows off her slim waist and the diamond stud in her belly button. Wow. She is stunning. He links his hand with hers, pulling her down the stairs and stopping beside me.

He grins at Zoey and asks, “So, who do we have here?”

“Grady, Teah.” Zander lifts Zoey a little higher and grins. “This is Zoey.”

“Hey, cutie.” Teah smiles at my daughter, holding up her hand for a high five.

Zoey slaps it with a giggle and points at the woman. “You pity.”

“I… what?” The woman looks to me for help.

“Zoey said you’re pretty.”

“Aw,” she croons and tells Zoey the same thing, making my daughter smile, then dip her head, all coy and fake shyness.

I shake my head at her dramatic antics and stretch out my hand. “I’m Sienna.”

“Hi.” Teah’s long fingers wrap around mine, and she gives my hand a swift shake before letting Grady introduce himself properly.

“I’ve heard a lot about you.” He gives me a knowing smile, and a surge of butterflies cascades through me as I glance at Zander.

His gaze is kind of soft and mushy and…

Yeah, I really am in trouble.

I don’t think I’m going to be able to stop myself from falling headfirst for this guy all over again.