Page 70 of The Deviation
“Look, guys,” I say, drawing everyone’s attention back my way. “I’m sorry we’ve been hiding this from you all. We really did believe it was over between us. We tried so hard but,” I can’thelp the smile taking over my face, “I love this man too much to be apart.”
Cal returns my smile. “I love you, too.”
I nod, taking a deep breath before I go on. “But the reality is, if Rush finds out about us, Calum could lose his job. So, at least for now, we’d appreciate it if you all keep this between us.”
Everyone murmurs their agreement.
“Now that’s settled,” Hannah says, dragging herself upright. “I’m going to steal the first shower.” She heads for her bedroom, Oz trailing behind her.
Toni calls after them, “Save water, shower with a friend.”
Calum groans his dismay. “That’s my little sister.”
“I’m twenty, Cal,” Hannah calls out. “Not so little anymore.”
The group breaks up soon after as people head either back to their bedrooms or into the kitchen to get breakfast. Ned and I both remain seated. Me on the couch, him on the floor. Calum takes note before murmuring, “I’m going to get ready. I have to head off soon.” I nod and he leans over to give me a quick kiss before leaving the room.
I turn my attention to Ned, who’s watching me in silence. My stomach flutters once more, despite how chill he’s been so far.
Clearing my throat, I get to spitting it out. “I know I’ve been a shit friend—”
“Don’t.” He shakes his head. “I understand why you didn’t tell me. Last year, I can’t say I wouldn’t have freaked out if I’d known how deep this thing between you and Calum went. I was still dealing with my own shit back then.” He lifts his gaze, and I see the faint echo of a pain he’s finally broken free of… with Toni’s support. “But I’ve gotten to know Calum pretty well since then. He works hard and he takes care with us. Do I wish you’d told me? Yes, of course. But I’ve seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is paying attention. I’ve seen you fucking droolingover him,” he adds, giving me a half grin. “I’m glad it’s working out for the two of you. You look good together.”
A giant smile pulls at my cheeks. “Thanks, man,” I say in a rough voice. “It means a lot.”
He rises onto his knees to come at me for a bone-crushing hug, complete with the usual kiss to my cheek. “You know I love the shit out of you.”
“Yeah, yeah. I love you, too.” It’s not something we’ve ever said out loud before, but it’s always been there. This man is the closest thing to a brother I will ever have. His approval is everything to me.
Letting go of me, he climbs onto the couch to curl up at my side. “Dude, you’re bi-fucking-sexual.”
Huffing out a laugh, I nod. “Yeah, I am.”
“How long have you known?”
I run a hand over my face, my cheeks warming. “Do you remember the guy I was friends with back in my first year at uni? I brought him to your sixteenth and you asked if he could be your birthday present.”
“Oh, hell yes,” he drawls. “That boy was so hot.”
“Yeah,” I say with a laugh. “He was.”
The amusement on Ned’s face fades and his brow creases. “That’s a long time to be alone with that information.”
“Ellie knew,” I assure him. “I wasn’t completely alone. We made the decision together to…”
“Hide it,” he says, quietly.
“It didn’t seem like a big deal. I was in a het relationship. What would have been the point?” Life is easier when people believe you’re straight, there’s no denying it. “Mum and Dad would have flipped.” The flutter in my stomach becomes churning. “They’regoing to… when I tell them.”
Ned has known me since we put together our first tragically woeful band back in high school. He spent enough time at my house to understand my reluctance. “That’ll be tough.”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“We have your back. Yours and Calum’s.” His hand lands on my shoulder and I lift my gaze to his. “We’re family, mate. For life.”
I return his smile, but my eyes burn. For all I know, after I tell my parents the truth, the band may be the only family I have left.
TWENTY-NINE