Page 25 of The Deviation
My eyes widen as I follow him. “What are you talking about?”
“Ned quit tonight, right after you left.” Johnny uncaps the scotch and refills both glasses. “Just like that. As if the last two years mean nothing. All the work we put in, the sacrifices we made.” He chokes out a broken laugh. “I ruined my marriage to hold on to that band and he just… left.” He lifts the glass, tossing the contents back in one swallow. “I suppose you can leave now, too,” he says in an acerbic tone, not bothering to look at me. “Since there’s nothing else here you need.”
He’s gone again and I’m forced to chase after him back to the living room. “There’s got to be something we can do.” I will not give up without a fight. Not when I’m so close to securing mine and Hannah’s future. “If we work together, I’m sure we can convince Ned—”
“There is no convincing Ned,” he cries. “The more I push the more he pulls away and now…” he shakes his head, “he’s gone.”
Anger courses through me as my mind rebels against his words. “No, there has to be a way.” I could do so much to help them fulfill their potential, to take them wherever they want to go. I would do right by them. Take care of them and never, ever abandon them. “All I need is a chance to prove myself.”
“Yeah, well, you can’t have one.” He turns to face me, holding his arms out to the sides. “Guess you’ll have to settle for the consolation prize.”
My eyes narrow. “What’s that?”
“Me.”
One word—two little letters—is all it takes to trigger every one of my starving senses. I want him. I want to take him apart piece by piece until he doesn’t even know his own name. But we can’t.
I take a step forwards.
We shouldn’t.
Another step.
Johnny waits for me, his gaze locked with mine, his body frozen in a turbulent stillness.
“You are not a consolation—”
“Yes, I am, but I don’t care.” The harshness of his whisper, the trembling of his limbs, makes me want to wrap myself around him. Comfort him. “Do you think I haven’t tried to find another man who makes me feel the way you do? Do you think I wouldn’tunchoose you in a heartbeat if I could? I can’t. There hasn’t been…” He falls silent, lowering his gaze.
Satisfaction roars through me at the thought no man has touched him the way I have. Reaching out with fast hands, I cup his face in my palms. “Not for me, either.” I pause, knowing exactly how dangerous this is to my future. To Hannah’s future. “No one since you.”
“Fuck.” His hands lift to my wrists, gripping tight as he presses his forehead to mine. “Please, Calum, put us both out of our misery. Even if it’s just for one night.” He licks his lips, his eyes wild. “Have me.”
THIRTEEN
______
JOHNNY
Calum gives in. He gives in so hard. If I break under the force of his surrender, it will have been worth it.
With a final muttered curse, he yanks me against him. One hand takes the back of my neck in a tight grip. The other arm snakes around my waist, trapping me in place.
His mouth crashes down upon mine, demanding instant access to all I have offered. I greet the intrusion of his tongue with a violent welcome. My hands clutch at his hair, his shoulders, at the lines of his back and the curves of his arse. It’s not enough. I need skin. Now.
Thrusting my hands between us, I try to undo the buttons on his shirt, but my fingers fumble the attempt and I resort to tearing at the material. Buttons pop. Calum releases me with an impatient growl to shrug out of the ruined shirt and toss it aside.
Our bare chests collide as we rush each other once more. Urgent hands grapple for purchase, blunt nails rake over skin. I track wet kisses along his jaw, biting down on the skin of his throat until he hisses in a breath and drops his head back in invitation. The subtle roughness of his stubble abrades my lips, and I relish in the sparks of delight that trip and flare inside me.
My exploration continues downwards over his heaving chest where I pause to play teeth, fingers and tongue over his nipples before sinking gratefully to my knees. Taking hold of his hips, I press my face against the flatness of his belly, breathing deep of the musky, masculine scent of him. I rub my lips back and forthabove the waistband of his trousers, teasing myself with the faint line of hair that leads me to my intended destination.
Being with Calum is wholly different to anything I’ve known before. Where sex, for me, has always been about taking pleasure in softness and curves, Calum’s body is all straight lines and height and the firmness of muscle. My pulse races as strongly as it ever has. I’m desperate for him the same way I was once desperate for her. But while there’s a familiarity in the fire ignited by his nearness, this experience is a unique kind of revelation. There has never been anyone like Calum for me. There never will be again.
My breath catches as I reach for his belt buckle. His eyes widen on a gasp before he breathes my name. “Are you sure?”
I allow my grin to be answer enough. My hands continue to move. Unbuckle. Unbutton. Unzip. My mouth waters in anticipation until, finally, I push his trousers and boxers down over his hips to release his dick.
It seems to preen beneath my hungry gaze, bobbing and weeping pre-come. I wrap one hand around the length of it and give a single tentative stroke. Calum jerks within my grasp. “Christ, Johnny,” he mutters, his voice strained. “Feels so good.”