Page 22 of The Deviation
I take the card.
Ned’s eyes close as he turns away.
Calum returns his attention to Ned, speaking in low tones I can’t make out, though I definitely hear the name Zac mentioned again. When he finally backs up, he addresses us as a group once more. “Think about it. It’s all I ask.”
I hold back a snort of laughter. Calum Ellis wants me to think about him and all he has to offer. As if I can stop. As if I’ve thought of anything else in months. His gaze meets mine one more time, and I’m surprised to see my own longing reflected back at me.
I wish we were alone. Just for a minute. I need to talk to him, hear his voice, be near him. I need to hear him say he’s thought about me, too.
When he walks away, my heart claws at my chest in an attempt to follow. Everything about him is everything I want. As a manager, he could give freedom to my music. As a man, he seduces me with every word, every heated glance. I can’t have it both ways, that’s a given. But can’t I at least have one?
Clamping down on the urge to act like a love-sick twat, I force my focus back to the men at my side. We come together, like the four distant corners of our own little world. For a long moment, no one speaks. I can’t be the first. I’m too close to the edge. I don’t want to lose my shit.
Ned begins. “I’m sorry for not telling you about Calum at the festival. I had no right to make decisions on behalf of the band.” We nod and Ned releases a sigh, though his body still quivers with tension. “Now what?”
“Now we need to get our arses on the same page,” I insist. Things are changing, new opportunities are appearing, and the way we’re starting to pull in different directions is going to tear us apart if we’re not careful. It’s time to clear the air, maybe even renegotiate the pact we made. Getting a clue as to why Ned needs it in the first place seems like a good place to start. “Zac Powell. As intheZachariah Powell? He was your manager in Sydney?”
“Yes,” Ned replies.
The rest of us mutter curses under our breaths. It isn’t an over-reaction. “Is he also the ex-boyfriend you didn’t want to see at Autumn Skies?” I ask, the thought suddenly occurring to me.
Ned nods, his expression grim. “We were together for eight months. He managed me the whole time. He tried to help me get off the ground but…” He shrugs, as if there’s nothing more to say.
Gavin frowns. “I don’t know, mate. I’ve played in a lot of bands with a lot of singers. The thought of someone as good asyou not being able to gain traction, even with Zachariah Powell backing you up?” He shakes his head. “Sounds dodgy to me.”
“Either way, it ended badly, and I walked away with nothing,” Ned says in a rush. “I’m not about to sign up for more of the same.”
The pieces are starting to come together, and yet it still doesn’t make sense. This is Ned’s big secret? He got the opportunity to work with one of Australia’s most successful music managers, while dating the man, and it didn’t work out. Seriously? That’s it?
“It wouldn’t have to be the same,” I assure him. “Whatever happened between you two, it was clearly bad.” Granted, I imagined something more dire than getting dumped by his boyfriend, but heartbreak is a bitch. That, I do understand.
The tension radiating from Ned’s body cranks up a notch as he crosses his arms and gives a curt nod.
“Okay, so I get now why you’re wary of getting involved with another manager. Zachariah Powell wouldn’t be the only bad egg and all. But that doesn’t mean we can’t get good representation if we want it. Right?” Gavin and Oz nod their heads in agreement. “Working with Calum could be good for us.” His name alone fizzes on my tongue and I try to rein in my eagerness. If Ned finds out what happened between me and Calum at the festival, he’ll shut me down so fast I’ll be in danger of losing body parts. “Or, you know, someone like him.”
Gavin’s nod grows more enthusiastic. “I agree. We could check him out first, and the company he’s working for, make sure they’re decent. Charmaine can read over any agreements they want us to sign so we don’t get shafted. Being married to a solicitor has its advantages.” His face lifts in a smug grin.
“Exactly.” My pulse riots inside my body, and I can’t help the hope filling me. If it’s fear of getting screwed over that’s holding Ned back, surely we can help allay that fear. “We’ll be there towatch each other’s backs. You might not have had that before, but you have it now.”
Instead of responding to me, Ned turns to Oz. “What about you?” he snaps. “Are you itching to be a rock star, too?”
There’s a moment of hesitation, but then Oz nods. “It would be nice to feel like we’re building something, moving forwards. We’ve been stuck in the same place an awful long time.”
Yes. That’s it exactly. I don’t need to be famous. I just want to know there’s more to my life than a 9-to-5 job and going home to an empty bed. Apparently, Gavin and Oz are keen for more, too. All we need is for Ned to agree.
Putting my hand on his shoulder, I pull his focus to me. “Ned, I know this wasn’t the plan when you joined us, but there’s one detail we weren’t counting on back then.”
He barely lifts an eyebrow at me. “What is that?”
I let loose a wicked grin, the kind that usually provokes the equally wicked side of him. When he’s not desperate to hide it. “The four of us together are so freaking good.” Gavin and Oz laugh behind me and I allow the sound to push me on. “Seriously, man, we were a decent band before. But you, my friend, turned out to be the secret sauce.”
Ned shakes his head. “You never needed me. All you needed was a singer who could show up on time and not be wasted.”
I bark out a laugh. “I’ll admit it was a start. It’s more than that, though, and you know it.” I grab hold of his other shoulder, desperate for him to see us the way I do. “We mesh on stage like a freaking dream and people respond to that. They know us. They love our music. The momentum is growing, and this is our chance to do something awesome, but we’re going to need help. I reckon the sooner we accept it, the better off we’ll be.”
Ned stares at me for a long moment, his eyes wide and wild. “You’re right.”
My heart threatens to burst through my ribs as hope spreads its wings and takes flight. I suck in a deep lungful of air. Hell yes, I’m right. We can do this. We can do it together and take care of each other. We’ll be okay.