Page 40 of The Deviation
Tiny beads of sweat gather on my skin as I struggle to stay still while he adjusts to the overload of sensations. “Tell me, Johnny,” I urge, spreading kisses over his cheek. “Tell me what you want.”
He takes a deep breath. Licks his lips. “More.” His fingernails dig into my butt cheeks as he says the words. “I want more.”
Relief forces a laugh from my throat. “Thank fuck.” Taking his mouth in another kiss, I begin to rock my way into him, inch by aching inch. He’s there to meet every thrust, welcoming me with delicate shudders and wanton gasps. I sink deeper. Deeper. All the way inside. When my hips meet his arse, I grind against him. With a deep, satisfied groan, he wraps his legs around my waist, locking me in place.
I withdraw almost to the tip before sliding back in. His head tilts back, eyes closed, mouth open. The play of expressions onhis face holds me captive as I fall into an easy rhythm, adjusting the angle of my thrusts until he cries out.
“So good.” Fucking him harder, I fondle his naked body with one hand while holding myself up on the other elbow so I can still drink in the sight of him. “Give me everything.”
Moans of pleasure overlap in the darkness. Whispers of affection flow from our lips.You feel so good. Love the way you taste. I’ve dreamed of this. I’ve dreamed of us. Don’t let go.
All too soon, the fire and the need pull us onwards to oblivion. I don’t want it to end. Sex has never been like this. I’ve never been this in sync, this far beyond need, this deep in the moment. Not with anyone. “Johnny.”
His eyes open and he looks up at me. I can see my fire blazing in him. “Cal.”
My orgasm rushes towards me, vast and unstoppable. Lifting myself up, I reach between us to wrap my hand around him with long, firm strokes. A keening sound leaves his throat. He’s close.
“Come with me, baby.” I’m pounding into him now, my hand working him roughly while he claws at my back. “Come with me.”
And he does. Thick streams erupt to coat my hand and his stomach, even as my own climax pulses through me in a seemingly endless rush.
When I finally collapse on top of him, our breathing harsh in the sudden quiet, his arms come around me. He holds on tight, like he’s afraid I’ll vanish this instant. Struggling against the inertia of my blissed-out body, I lift my head to press a simple kiss to his lips. Then another. And another.
His hold relaxes, and I roll us over so he’s half lying on my chest, our legs still entwined. I take a second to deal with the condom, before wrapping him back up in my arms and dropping more kisses on the top of his head. I’m not going anywhere. At least… not yet.
After a while he looks up at me. “Take a shower with me,” he says. “I want to run soapy hands all over your skin. Rinse you off. Blow you until you come in my mouth, and then,” he pauses, gives me a shit-eating grin, “I’ll drag you back to bed to start all over again.”
Despite the force of the orgasm I enjoyed mere moments ago, my whole body perks up at his words. “You have the best ideas.”
EIGHTEEN
______
JOHNNY
An incessant beeping forces my eyes open, and I cringe at the dawn light creeping its way across the room. Did I fall asleep? Gasping, I turn over. The other side of the bed is empty. My palm slides over the cold sheet. Calum is long gone. We’re over.
I drag myself out of bed. Put in my usual hour of guitar practice. Shower and get dressed for work. Drink my coffee. Pack lunch. All the while, a hollowness yawns wide inside my chest. Days and nights of loneliness stretch before me. There’s no help for it. My only cure is two suburbs away, preparing for his own workday. Ten minutes and a thousand reasons separate us.
Calum is right. We can’t continue like this. Risking his job. Risking this chance for Fifth Circle to grow the way I’ve always dreamed. Neither of us wants to put our future on the line for a fling that can’t possibly go anywhere. I’ve done enough to disappoint my parents without suddenly announcing, by the way, I’m bisexual and never bothered to tell you.
They’ve already lost their daughter-in-law, and the grandchildren they hoped we would soon provide. To tell them I’ve fallen for a man… it would be too much. They would never reject me outright, I believe that. But I’m not sure they’d ever forgive me.
Given enough time, my attraction to Calum will fade. We’ll get used to being around each other, we’ll reach an equilibrium, and the rest of what we had will fall away. Life will move on. Then, one day, I’ll be going about my business, and BOOM. A womanI have no idea exists will knock me on my arse and that will be that. I’ll fall in love again, because I won’t be able to stop myself from loving her. I’ll trust her, because she will earn my trust. I’ll share my life with her, because being apart would hurt too damned much. My parents will love her as much as I do. They’ll be proud. And I’ll be happy.
I have to believe it will happen. Not now, not soon, but someday. When I’m ready.
The next time I lay eyes on Calum, he is officially Fifth Circle’s manager and we’re having our first official meeting. He’s back in his suit and tie, freshly promoted and bursting with enthusiasm.
When he sees me, he stills for a moment before an overly bright smile appears. “Good evening, Johnny.”
I approach slowly, my heart sinking at the wariness in his green gaze. He’s not sure he can trust me. He’s worried I’ll give us away with a careless look or a tell-tale remark. That I’ll take everything he’s worked so hard for and turn it to shit.
I can hardly blame him. I’ve pushed for more at every turn. I’ve lied and seduced and argued with him to get what I want.
No more.
“Calum,” I say with a nod. “Looking forward to working with you.” I hold out my hand. When he accepts, I keep the shake brief—perfunctory, even.