Page 9 of The Ampersand Effect

“Woosah! I’ll wipe it again,” Eddie said coolly. Her face became expressionless as she proceeded, “You remember the children’s hospital gala in two weeks?”

“Yes…” Tobin replied, suspicion emanating from every pore. She continued to clean, refusing to look Eddie in the eyes.

“The hospital board of directors has decided to honor Parrish Aerial for our dedicated services transporting patients, and would like us to attend and receive the award in person.”

“You mean they are honoring you for your donation to grow their medevac crew, build two new helipads and increase our availability to transfer patients to and from the hospital?” Tobin retorted, fixing her gaze on the remains of a dried bug. After several drawn out seconds, she dropped her arms in a huff,turned her gaze directly on Eddie and sighed as she said with resignation, “What are you roping me into?”

“It’s black tie, and you’re my date.” Eddie’s charming and extremely cocky grin hit nearly one thousand watts. “And… your lady doctor is going to be there. She might even be the guest of honor! She’s up for the Physician of the Year Award. Perfect opportunity for you to make your move, sweep her off her feet when she’s riding a high from the award.” Eddie’s eyes shone, mischievous and hopeful at once.

Tobin sat motionless. “She’s not mine. She worked on my arm, once, as a favor to the hospital. We flirted; it was fun. But it’s not going anywhere. I have too much going on. I can’t lose sight of my goals—of kids.” Then, quieter, “I can’t lose anyone again.”

“Blur, you can’t let Talia’s spineless decision forever prevent you from finding love. You deserve someone that can love you for what and who you are outside of piloting.”

Tobin bristled at the mention of her ex, she didn’t need further commentary from Eddie right now. She knew Eddie knew she would comply—she was nothing if not dedicated to her friend, and truly supported her humanitarian efforts. Still, she rolled her eyes at her. “Did you choose ‘spineless’ intentionally?”

Eddie pushed herself off the helicopter and started to walk away. She gracefully turned around and walked backward, the ponytail of her long, champagne-colored hair whipping behind her. “Of course, I did. I’ve been waiting to make that joke for hours! But, in reality, it’s true. Talia was spineless. You don’t leave someone you love because you’re scared of losing them. You communicate. You make it work. Or it wasn’t truly love at all. Dr. Savage might not be any different. But she might be the difference you need. Call her.”

Tobin climbed into the Raven and shut the door without acknowledging Eddie. She needed to clear her head, and the bestway to accomplish that was to shut out the noise around her with the whirring of helicopter blades. And a good, strong hug from LoLo, who was expecting her after the phone call she made to her before she was ambushed with that treatment from Dr. Savage.

Shit. Clearing her mind was going to be harder than she thought.

Her arm really felt amazing, though. Hours later, it still tingled with the memory of her touch.

Dammit! This was going to be an extraordinarily long ride if she couldn’t change the topic in her own damn mind. What would her therapist, Nadia, tell her to do? Take a couple deep breaths and exhale the interloping notions of nonsense. Visualize the reality around her, and avoid catastrophizing the situation.

Her thoughts were often not that close to reality. Less commonly now, but following the accident, she rarely had a day without a blanket of anxiety casually settling over her body. She’d worked countless hours with Nadia to recognize when she wasn’t grounded; how to calm herself and find her center. She just had to take the first breath.

Inhale.

This really was not going to go anywhere.Thiswasnotthis.Thiswas nothing. A harmless moment of flirting, with a beautiful woman who could live forever in her fantasies but would never amount to anything outside of that.

Exhale.

There. She already felt lighter. She could push this afternoon out of her overthinking, overbearing brain and enjoy this joyride.

Forty-five minutes later she set the chopper down in the open pasture LoLo kept mowed for that purpose, always hoping for a visit from her granddaughter. The noise from the chopperinevitably announced her arrival, and she could already see her grandmother leaning against the porch railing, wiping her hands on her trademark apron. She’d probably already started dinner, which was good because Tobin realized she didn’t get much to eat this afternoon.

“What’s wrong?” Elodie reached for Tobin as she approached the farmhouse porch.

“What? Nothing’s wrong, LoLo. I’m famished! What’s for dinner?” Tobin bounded up the steps, skipping one, both in an effort to shake her mood and to prove to her grandmother just hownotwrong she was.

LoLo enveloped her in a rib-crushing hug. She inhaled the scent of yeast and earth that clung to the woman and spoke to her soul. It filled her with that sense of grounding she’d been missing. She was home. And hungry.

She pushed her grandmother to arm’s length and smiled down to her. “I don’t know what I’m smelling, but my mouth is watering.”

LoLo eyed her, sizing her up, making the hair on Tobin’s arms raise under her inspection. “You’re lying to me. But we can get to that after dinner. Beef stew is simmering, with frozen vegetables from last year’s harvest. You can help with the dumplings. Pie is in the oven.”

“Rhubarb pie?” Tobin yelped, in excitement.

“What else, child? It’s your favorite.”

“LoLo,you’remy favorite!” She beamed, following the matriarch into her home. Food really was the way to her heart. She walked into the kitchen and began breaking eggs and sifting flour into a bowl LoLo had already set out.

“I thought you might bring Harrow with. Where is she tonight?” “She’s been busy with a case, a lot of traveling for research.

I don’t understand all of it, but some sort of chemical dumping situation that left a town broke and broken, with people developing all sorts of mutations or diseases.”

“She’s determined to leave this world a better place. And take a few companies down in the process,” LoLo replied as she slid into one of the stools across from Tobin at the kitchen island. Tobin noticed how she had begun slowing down in the last year or two, resting more than she ever used to. But, at eighty-four, she deserved to rest. And Tobin was more than capable of handling the dumplings. She’d learned from her, and keeping her hands busy was preventing her mind from wandering.