Page 144 of The Ampersand Effect

It hurt to know that she held these feelings, that she wasthisclose—soclose—to having everything she ever wanted.

But she couldn’t say it.

Not because of Grier’s command.

But because she wasterrifiedof saying it—ofknowingit,owningit,havingit. Only to lose it.

She couldn’t lose it. Because losing it—losing Grier… she wouldn’t survive that.

So, Tobin did the only thing she could do. She kissed Grier. She kissed her long and slow, silently screaming the cocktail of emotions that were sluicing through her brain.

They kissed. They cried. They held each other.

Only Tobin knew her tears were not the same as Grier’s.

Twenty-Six

When Grier woke the next morning, she knew two things: she had told Tobin she was in love with her—and she was wet.

She was in love with Tobin. And she wanted to use her body to convey that honesty in ways words sometimes failed her. To be able to give herself over—to confirm physically what she had whispered last night—thrilled Grier in ways she hadn’t expected.

She’d loved before, sure. But she’d never feltthis.

It was still dark in Tobin’s room—too dark to determine the time. But Grier wanted her. And she wanted hernow.

She scooted her butt backward, trying to nestle herself back into the spooning position they’d fallen asleep in. But she kept scooting— and scooting—and still didn’t hit the warm, familiar skin she was aching to touch.

Her hand reached behind her, patting empty sheets. She sat up. She was alone in Tobin’s bed.

Grier got up and slipped Tobin’s favorite zippy over her naked body. Getting fully dressed was pointless—her intentions were to get both of them naked as soon as possible.

They wouldn’t have much time before she had to leave for the hospital, but maybe she could convince Tobin to take a shower with her. Knock out two needs at once.

When she stepped onto the stair landing, she saw Tobin below— standing at the kitchen counter, chopping fruit and brewing coffee.

Grier paused, leaning against the railing to adore the woman in the few quiet moments before Tobin felt her gaze and recognized her.

Grier was in love with Tobin.

And now they bothknewit.

She’d never loved someone like this. She felt it in every part of her—in the way her heart still raced whenever Tobin looked at her, or whispered her name. In the chilling absence she felt on her skin when Tobin’s body wasn’t near her. In her mind. And in her soul.

And she knew—sheknewthis was it. This was real.

Tobin didn’t even glance up. “Are you going to just stare at me, or are you coming down here to do something about it?”

Busted.

Tobin lifted her gaze, a confident—yet somehow shy—smile on her face. Like she was trying to mask the embarrassment Grier knew was coursing through her.

Because she knew this, too.

She knew the woman she loved, almost as well as she knew herself.

And she knew Tobin’s mind was probably racing with her own thoughts this morning—with thoughts of uncertainty, of insecurity, of feeling undeserving.

Grier desperately wanted to quiet them.