Page 151 of The Ampersand Effect

She settled onto the ground in the middle of the puppy pen, allowing the young pups to clamber over her legs for attention. Her thoughts drifted to Grier, like they so often had in the last week. Like they had for the last several months. It wasn’t a new pattern for her, nor was it unexpected. But it was becoming uncomfortable.

Something had shifted between them. Tobin wasn’t quite certain if it was good or bad—only that it was different.

Her feelings for Grier hadn’t changed. She knew for certain she was in love with her. But she didn’t know for certain if she could survive losing her. And losing Grier would be unequivocally devastating.

The rest of the week had been a blur, and they hadn’t had much time to talk. Work had been extraordinarily busy with rescues and transports. But Grier had felt distant to Tobin since the night of the fireflies. She’d confided in Tobin about Jonah’s readmission to the hospital, and Tobin knew that weighed heavily on her.

But it felt like there was more at play.

There was something not quite tangible that had nestled between them and settled like a snake, its tight coils cold and lithe, preparing to strike.

Grier hadn’t said she loved her again. And Tobin felt the absence of the words like a gaping wound in her chest.

The ache didn’t have time to settle before a brazen ball of tri-colored fur lunged into Tobin’s chest, nearly knocking the wind out of her with the ferocity of its leap. She loosed a surprised “oof!” just before her face and neck were assaulted by an eager tongue and a wave of hot puppy breath.

She couldn’t help but laugh. The mutt—already notorious among the volunteers and campers for his sneak-attack kisses—had been dubbed Smooch.

Tobin dug her fingers into his shaggy fur and puckered up for the onslaught. She giggled at his affection, and—not for the first time—considered how much she really did want to adopt a dog. It just wasn’t the right time.

“I didn’t know I could be jealous of a dog, but here we are.”

Grier’s teasing voice drifted from the volunteer table. Tobin turned to see a mischievous glint in her girlfriend’s eyes.

“What can I say? I’m in high demand!”

Tobin gently extricated herself from Smooch’s vigorous affection, ignoring his aggressive and overt whines of displeasure. She climbed over the pen and immediately drew Grier into her arms.

Gods, she felt good to hold again.

Grier was stiff at first, but Tobin felt her defenses wane and her posture soften with every passing second. This feeling—this ability to bring a calm to each other—it had to mean something, right? Because Tobin had never felt that before, either giving or receiving. And she knew it was mutual.

She felt the tension melt away from her own shoulders the longer she remained in Grier’s embrace.

If she thought about—and she really had—everything about Grier felt right. Grier had confidently opened her arms to Tobin with the kind of quiet confidence that made it seem like she’d always known they’d fit together like this. And in the warm comfort of those confident shoulders she loved so much, Tobin had subdued her defenses. She’d let down her walls and invited Grier in.

She knew this was right. She knew that these moments, these thoughts—this overwhelming squeeze in the center of her chest— were good, and right, and perfect. And most importantly, they weretheirs.

Tobin knew she could say it. And not only that shecould, but sheshould. She should tell Grier how she felt. They should live in these moments—loud and free and in love.Lub dub, lub dub, in love.

She tipped her head down, bringing her lips to Grier’s ears,

“You’re the only one I want to kiss.”

Her fingertips found Grier’s chin, hooking under it to lift her face and align their eyes. “I’ve missed you this week.”

Grier’s eyes softened at the words, warmth blooming instantly— amber coils churning around darkened pupils. “Then I think you better kiss me to make up for lost time.”

She didn’t wait for Tobin’s reply, closing her eyes just as she closed the distance between their lips.

A chorus of “Ew!” and “Gross!” hit them in a matter of seconds, their PDA on full display for the campers who were blatantly ignoring their assigned duties in order to ogle them.

Tobin felt Grier smile into the kiss at the exact moment that her own lips curled into a giddy smirk. She wasn’t even embarrassed when a loud whistle rang out from several booths down the line.

“You areembarrassingme!” Delta scoffed.

Tobin looked at Grier, a smile still tugging at her lips—and a very important sentence tugging heavily at her heart. Her smile widened as her eyes searched Grier’s, tender and full of hope, searching for the comfort she needed to say it.

“Grier, I —”