Page 65 of The Ampersand Effect

Grier’s brows lifted, wary but curious. The sudden shift in tone unsettled them both.

“Why do I get the impression I should sit for this revelation?” Grier asked, her voice still holding a teasing lilt.

“You—we—probably should.” Tobin tilted her neck toward the couch, and they both moved to sit side by side once more.

Tobin drew a steadying breath and formed the words she knew might take this woman from her before they’d even had a chance to begin. “I hadn’t planned on meeting you.” She cleared her throat.Fuck, this is hard,she thought. “I hadn’t planned on meetinganyoneI might actually want to start a relationship with.”

Grier just watched her, eyes darting over Tobin’s face, absorbing every flicker of emotion that crossed it.

“My goals in life have never wavered—I’ve always wanted a family. After my accident, I thought my chance at one had disappeared along with my ex. But then I realized I didn’tneed awifeto have a family.” She hesitated, studying Grier’s remarkably calm, unreadable expression.

“I decided to have a baby on my own, without a wife.” The words came out softer than she intended. “My first appointment isn’t until the end of June, but it’s scheduled, and…”

Grier leaned forward slightly, her voice gentle but anxious.

Prompting. “… And?”

“And I’m not really sure where that all stands now. But I figured it’s important to be honest and upfront with each other. Even the hard things.” The last words tumbled out too fast, as though she could outrun the weight of them.

She searched Grier’s face greedily, bracing for her impending response. But Grier was uncharacteristically quiet—unnervingly so. Even her hands were quiet in her lap, her fingers no longer twisting the chain at her throat. The silence stretched between them, heavy with the sound of Tobin’s heartbeat thundering in her ears.

It seemed like whole minutes passed before Grier finally cleared her throat. Tobin braced herself, steeling her expression—determined not to show emotion when Grier inevitably left. She suspected that moment was only seconds from now.

“That’s… quite literally a life changing statement.” Grier’s voice was quiet, thoughtful. She looked at Tobin, and Tobin could almost feel her trying to formulate an escape plan.

“You said you’re not sure where it stands. Does that mean you’re willing to… negotiate?” Grier asked, her tone still surprisingly calm.

“Negotiate what, exactly?” Tobin asked, hesitant.

“A timeline. Say, for example, this news doesn’t run me off like you clearly think it will.” Heat crept up Tobin’s neck at how easily Grier had read her.

“If I didn’t run, and we started this slow, intentional relationship we’ve been discussing—when the time came foryour appointment, would you be willing to adjust your timeline? To give us the time we might need to decide if it’s right for us? Or are you set on getting pregnant at the earliest opportunity?”

Tobin was speechless. It hadn’t occurred to her that Grier might stay—might actually be willing to meet her halfway. Wasn’t this a conversation couples had after months together? And yet, here they were, already cracking open their futures only hours into their adolescent romance.

“You’re actually considering still dating me?” Tobin’s mouth was agape; she couldn’t control it.

“Look—a family is on my radar, too. And I’ve also considered single parenthood by choice. It’s never been my first choice, but I want children enough that I would consider doing it if I haven’t partnered by a reasonable age. So, no—children don’t scare me. You having an appointment doesn’t scare me. What scares me is not knowing if you’re willing to put your maternal clock on pause long enough to find out if we’re working toward the same future—or if we should cut our losses now.”

Tobin stood and walked to the railing. The cool lake breeze revitalized her, but it couldn’t cool the flush that burned under her skin. Anxiety and fear from her confession had left her shirt damp with sweat.

She felt Grier’s warmth before she felt her hand—the tentative press of a warm palm to the small of her back sent chills unrelated to the temperature coursing over her skin. This woman took her by surprise every damn time.

“You were expecting me to bolt,” Grier said softly. “And now you don’t know what to do. Am I right?”

Tobin turned to look at Grier, and the concern in her face helped her steel her own confidence. “No… yes, I was expecting you to bolt. But you’re wrong about me not knowing what to do.” She met Grier’s eyes, and in them found the strength to break down yet another layer of her armor. “If you’re truly andhonestly standing in front of me, telling me you’re willing to see where this can go, then I’m one hundred percent certain I’m willing to sideline my timeline.”

Their eyes remained locked, both of them frozen in place— tracing each other’s faces, searching for signs, for any tell that might make either of them change their minds.

“I can’t decide if this is going to result in the most stable and communicative relationship I’ve ever known, or crash and burn with both our hearts in the fire…” Grier paused, and Tobin felt as though her entire world hung in the ellipses. “But, I’m not one to cower to my fears. And, I really,reallylike you, Tobin.”

Tobin continued to search Grier’s face for any sign of deception. She could feel her heart beating against her ribs, the sound of her pulse in her ears loud enough to drown out the waves below.

She watched as Grier’s pupils dilated, taking her in, recognizing their shared fear and longing. And determination. Grier reached for both of Tobin’s hands and took a step closer, closing what little space remained between them. With a confidence Tobin knew she herself couldn’t have mustered, Grier said, “I’m in. Let’s see what happens when we play with fire.”

Tobin wasn’t sure who moved first, only that suddenly they were wrapped in each other, the embrace settling over her like relief. Grier seemed to fitjustso against her body. Tobin breathed her in, the scent of her grounding and intoxicating. There was a peace to their embrace—unexpected and profound. Tobin knew, instinctively, that she would do anything to protect and nurture whatever this was going to be.

Grier led them back to the couch, where she nestled into Tobin as if they’d been doing it for years—the back of her head against Tobin’s chest, pulling Tobin’s arms around herand lacing their fingers together over her sternum. An instant comfort.