Page 65 of Tangled Hearts (Mended Hearts #4)

My favorites, though, are the decorations that Beck and I pick out each year.

One year, it was a little ceramic plaque that read First Christmas —signifying the first year we spent Christmas together.

My second favorite is the little gingerbread house decoration we got the first year Eli was with us.

We let him pick that one out. He’d blinked up at me with shiny green eyes, telling me he wanted that one because it was his first Christmas in a house that felt like home.

I shake my head against the memories before I become a blubbering mess and stand, offering Beck my hand. He takes it, and I help him to his feet.

We stop at the mantle, and with a breathtaking smile, Beck picks up the carrot from the plate. “This would be so much better with ranch,” he mumbles, still grinning.

“Reindeer don’t eat ranch, so I guess you’re out of luck, baby.”

After I pick up my cookie, we “toast” by knocking them together. When all I have left is a tiny piece of cookie, I lay it back on the tray, and Beck adds his mostly eaten carrot.

I take his hand, leading him toward our bedroom. “So, are you gonna sleep in your bunny pjs?” I ask after we’re inside and I’ve closed the door behind us .

He gives me a rueful grin. “I have to. It’s tradition.”

I grab a handful of his fuzzy pajamas and pull him to me, tasting the happiness on his lips as soon as they connect with mine.

I lose myself in him, sighing when he cups my jaw and runs his thumb over my cheekbone.

For over a decade, he’s touched me just like this.

Softly, with kindness and love and reverence.

I hardly even remember a time when I was met with angry fists and devastating words.

Now it’s just him—the love of my life, my everything.

“Santa won’t come until we go to sleep,” he whispers against my lips, breaking our kiss.

I smile. “Then let’s get into bed.”

I expect to be woken up by Lexi bombarding us with her excitement. Instead, I wake to crying. Eyes still closed, my face scrunches in confusion.

Who’s crying?

“Shhh, baby boy. You don’t want to wake everyone up yet.”

Nic? What the hell?

“Why not? It’s Christmas morning,” Eli whispers back to him, and my lips curve into a grin.

“Let the baby wake them up. I want Christmas morning hot chocolate,” Lexi says in what I’m sure she thinks is a whisper.

“No, Lex,” Eli chides softly. “It’s not time to wake them up yet.”

I can practically feel Lexi’s eye roll. “Then why did you come wake me up before the sun to tell me it was time to go to The Dads’ room if you didn’t want us to wake them up?”

There’s a pause while Eli figures out the right way to answer that .

“She has a point, you know?” Nic says.

Beck’s fingers tighten on my arm, letting me know he’s awake, and when I open my eyes, I’m greeted by his stunning blue ones. He’s grinning, and I can’t help but grin back. It seems we have a bed full of our kiddos this morning.

“Merry Christmas, baby,” I mouth.

Tears well up in his eyes. My sweet, sentimental man.

“I say we wake them up,” Lexi chimes in. “It’s Christmas, you guys. Don’t be boring.” She drags out the “o” in boring, which almost has me laughing.

Eli scoffs. He lets her get him riled up way too easily. “Who made you the boss, huh? I’m the grown-up here.”

“Are you, though?” Lexi asks, sounding bored.

“Why are you arguing with a preteen, Eli?” Nic asks. Always the voice of reason.

“Good question,” Lexi pipes up.

I shake my head, trying hard not to laugh, while Beck does the same.

If I had to guess, Lexi is sprawled across the end of the bed, Eli is lying directly behind me, and Nic’s on the outer edge.

I’d also venture to guess that our brand-new baby grandson, Asher, is tucked between them.

He’s not crying now, but that probably won’t last long.

At only six weeks old, his entire life revolves around eating, crying, sleeping, and needing a diaper change.

Eli sighs. “I don’t even have to argue with you. I’m clearly right.”

I worried the two of them wouldn’t be close because of their age difference.

I should have known better. Eli turns into a bratty teenager the second he’s around Lexi.

On one hand, they argue like cats and dogs, but on the other, Eli would actually cause bodily harm to anyone who tried to hurt her.

I never had siblings, obviously, but I’d imagine that’s par for the course.

Beck brushes his thumb over my arm, shifting a bit to press his leg against mine.

Lexi gasps. “They’re faking it! They’ve been awake this whole time!”

Beck chuckles. “Busted. Did you really think you could just sneak four people into our bed and we wouldn’t know?”

I sit up, rubbing at my face and glancing around. I was dead on with my positioning. “Well, I didn’t actually wake up until the baby started crying.”

Eli grins up at me. “Morning. We came bearing gifts.”

“Gifts?” Beck asks, sitting up too.

Nic nuzzles Asher’s face. “Yep. Figured there’s no way you could have a bad morning waking up like this.” He glances up at me, then waves his hand around. “Gifts. Us. It was my idea, by the way, so I want all the props and the favorite son title for the day.”

Eli whips his head around to glare at Nic, and Beck and I burst into laughter. “Suck up,” Eli grouses.

Beck stretches, then stands. “Alright. Everybody out. There’s not enough room in here for all of us. I was barely even on the bed.”

“You did this to yourself, you know?” Nic says through his laughter. “You said we were always welcome in your bed.”

“Yeah, well…” Beck chuckles. “I didn’t realize there’d be so many of you when I said that.”

Everyone works on climbing out of bed, and when it’s just Eli in the middle and Asher tucked beside him, Nic leans over and picks Asher up, cradling him to his chest.

Watching my son become a dad, watching Nic become a dad?

Easily one of the top five moments of my life.

Holding Asher’s tiny body in my arms for the first time?

Indescribable. Staring into his green eyes?

Unbelievable. We don’t have any photos of Eli as a baby, but I’d imagine that Asher is a miniature version of him.

Eli rolls out of the bed, landing on his feet and giving Beck a quick once-over. I glance between the two of them, already fighting a smile.

“Nice pjs, Dad,” Eli says, flashing Beck a blinding smile.

Beck stares at him in shock for a second, then shakes his head. “This is all my fault.”

With a shrug, Eli glances at Lexi. “Last one to the living room is a rotten egg,” he says, then takes off running.

Lexi catches up to him, shoving him against the doorframe before rushing past him into the hallway. They clearly don’t stop their roughhousing if the banging against the wall is any indication.

Beck follows them, pausing at the door to shoot me a smile before disappearing into the hallway, and when they’re gone, Nic rounds the foot of the bed and stops in front of me.

He glances down at his son, his smile so adoring and sweet that it honestly gets me choked up. Then he holds Asher out to me. “Here you are, Papaw Ro.”

When I have a bundled-up Asher in my arms, Nic grins. “Come on. There’s another surprise in the living room.”

I follow him out, and when we step into the living room, it looks like a bomb went off. There are blankets and pillows strewn around everywhere. Julian and Holden are sitting up, bleary-eyed and looking confused about life.

Eli and Lexi are still picking at each other, and Warren is slumped against Wren on the couch.

My heart swells to the point of pain .

“I’m gonna go get coffee started,” Julian says, pressing a kiss to Holden’s temple and standing up from his blanket nest. Holden nods, his hair sticking up in a million different directions.

“Looks like Santa brought the whole family,” Beck says, turning back to me with a smile.

“I’ll help, Uncle Julian,” Eli says, finally giving up on annoying his sister, and stumbles over the blankets to follow Julian.

“Bean water?” Nic gasps from beside me. “How the mighty have fallen. Besides, you’re already full of energy.”

Eli narrows his eyes. “Boba isn’t gonna keep me awake.

Parents have to make sacrifices. My first is my taste buds.

And also, whatever the opposite of a second wind is?

That’s what I have right now.” Julian chuckles, and Eli waves a hand in front of him.

“Lead the way, Uncle Jules. I need sustenance in the form of caffeine.”

Nic joins Holden in his blanket nest, both of them lying down, and Beck sits down on the couch by Lexi.

I can do little more than stand and stare at my family. If only I could go back in time to a terrified and heartbroken eighteen-year-old Roman and tell him what’s waiting for us.

If only I could tell him that it gets better.

That one day he’ll wake up to chaos and blankets and the low hum of a coffee pot. With giggles and laughter and happiness. That he’ll fall in love, over and over, with the same man who used to wipe his tears and tend to his wounds.

That he’ll have a daughter with a fiery heart and a son with gentle hands with a son of his own.

I would tell him that pain was not the end of our story.

I would tell him to hold on. Joy is coming.

That family and love are coming.

Asher squirms in my arms as the sound of laughter and coffee mugs clinking reaches my ears. I glance down at my grandson. Perfect and tiny and warm, blinking up at me with bright eyes and rosy cheeks. I press a kiss to a forehead. “You are so loved, little Asher. And so safe.”

I look up in time to catch Beck’s gaze. His lips curve into my favorite smile—the one that never fails to unravel me. I step fully into the room just as Eli and Julian come back in from the kitchen with a coffee mug in each hand.

“Who wants to go make hot chocolate with me?” Beck asks, glancing between Lexi and Warren, and both of them shoot a hand into the air. “Perfect. Let’s go, and then we’ll open presents.”

I sit down beside Eli, rocking Asher gently in my arms while I take in all the things I thought I’d never deserve.

My heart nearly bursts from the joy of a dream coming true. A dream I didn’t even think I was allowed to have. Pain and heartache were never meant to be the end of my story.

This was.