Page 48 of Tangled Hearts (Mended Hearts #4)

He’s not going to get an answer. Holden doesn’t seem to have any. His eyes are glassy and unfocused. He’s not here. But I don’t know where he is.

“Please,” I say, my voice cracking. “Please go get Julian.”

Nic looks at me, then releases Holden. “Don’t let him hurt himself, Eli.” He’s gone a second later.

I don’t know what to do. But I literally just gave a fucking speech about this, so I listen to my own words. I sit close to Holden, not touching him. “Nic’s on his way with Julian, Uncle Hold.”

He makes a desperate, gasping sound. Okay, so maybe it’s not time to sit with him. “Holden, look at me.”

Terrified green eyes latch onto mine. I think he’s finally seeing me, but I’m not sure that’s a good thing. “I’m here,” I whisper, reaching out to touch him.

He jerks away from me, shaking his head almost violently. “Please don’t. Don’t. Please don’t. Please don’t.” He repeats the words over and over until they’ve turned into nothing but a garbled mess, his voice distorted and shaky and breaking and fucking terrifying.

“Uncle Hold,” I whisper, tears welling up in my eyes and spilling down my cheeks. “I’m sorry. You’re okay. You’re safe. I’m here.”

He doesn’t hear me. He just curls into a ball and cries. I’ve never seen him cry like this, and something inside me just… breaks. Some tiny part of me that thought he was invincible.

“Please, Uncle Hold,” I whisper. “Please.”

“Eli.” Julian . I turn from Uncle Holden and find Julian and Nic rushing toward us. “Hey, kid. It’s okay,” Julian says, kneeling beside me in front of Holden. “Hey, darlin’,” he whispers. “Come back to me.”

There’s nothing. Just tears and sobs. “I’m going to touch you, okay?”

Still nothing, but Julian doesn’t let it stop him. He scoops Holden up in his arms. Holden fights him like he did Nic, still chanting no , but Julian ignores him. It pisses me off. “What the fuck are you doing?” I snap. “He’s saying no. Leave him alone.” My voice cracks, more tears wetting my face.

“I know, Eli,” Julian says, barely sparing me a glance. “He’s not here, though. I can help him, I promise. I won’t hurt him.”

I shake my head, shoving at his arm. “Stop it. You always listen to him. He told me you always listen when he says no. Why aren’t you listening?”

“Eli,” Nic says, trying to grab me, but I jerk away from him. Julian stands, holding a still-fighting Holden in his arms.

“Put him down!” I scream, my throat aching and raw. “Stop touching him.” I shove at Julian again, hitting him in the arm with my closed fist.

“He was hurting himself, Eli. Stop. Let Julian take care of him,” Nic says, grabbing my arm again.

I turn and bury my face against Nic’s chest. “He’s not taking care of him. He’s hurting him. Holden told me Uncle Julian always respects his no.”

“This is different, Eli,” Julian murmurs, and when I turn to look back at him, he looks as wrecked as I feel. God, how am I going to survive this night? How am I gonna watch two people I love so much break down like this? Julian looks down at Holden. “He’s already calming down. See? ”

I force a deep breath into my lungs, then wipe at my face. Holden’s not jerking around anymore. He seems like he’s melted into Julian, but he’s still crying—hiccuping sobs that sound weak and heartbroken.

“I’m sorry I hit you,” I choke out, my heart racing at what I just did.

“Don’t apologize, Eli. Thank you for fighting for him.

I have to get him out of here. Go find your dads.

” I shake my head. I don’t want Julian to take him away.

I need to see him. Need to make sure he’s okay.

Need to find out what happened, but Julian’s already walking away.

“It’s okay, my darlin’. I’m gonna get you home, and you’re gonna be just fine, okay?

I’m here.” Julian’s softly spoken voice has sobs building in my chest.

The first one comes out, and Nic is there instantly. “Hey, shhh. It’s okay.” But his voice is shaking, so he clearly doesn’t think it’s okay.

“Nothing about that was okay,” I snap, but then I’m crying again.

“I know, baby. I know.” I’m shaking and he’s shaking and my heart hurts and I don’t think my knees will hold me up anymore, and I think Nic shares that sentiment because before I know it we’re both on the ground, arms wrapped around each other. “Are you going to be okay if I go get your dads?”

“No.” But I need them. And they need to know what happened. What the fuck did happen? “But go get them, anyway.”

Nic nods, then releases me. He’s gone in a second. And I’m alone. Alone and scared and cold. So fucking cold.

The echoes of Holden’s sobs are still ringing in my ears, the fear in his eyes imprinted in my mind. I’ll never, ever be able to unsee that. I sink my teeth into my lip, biting down until I taste blood. I don’t even care.

I wrap my arms around myself, rocking back and forth and trying to get myself together. But I can’t. I want to scream or cry or break things. I want to go back ten minutes and find out what happened. Find out what I did wrong so I can undo it.