Page 45 of Tangled Hearts (Mended Hearts #4)

Nic

W hen I open my eyes, Eli’s side of the bed is cold, and I’m alone. Not exactly my favorite way to wake up, I won’t lie. I toss the blankets off myself and climb out of bed in search of Eli. It doesn’t take me long to find him, and when I do, it takes even less time to realize something is wrong.

He’s pacing a hole in the living room floor, and even when I step fully into the room, he doesn’t seem to notice me. “Eli?” Still no acknowledgment. Just pacing. “Hey, baby?” I try again, a little louder.

Eli runs a hand through his hair, and judging by the state of it, it’s not the first time. He mumbles something under his breath, pausing to inhale deeply, and then he spots me. “Oh. Hi.” And back to pacing he goes.

“Hi, doll. What’s going on?”

He shakes his head. “Just freaking out about tonight.”

I frown. “Why are you freaking out about tonight? ”

He stops, turning to me with a half-terrified, half-annoyed look. “What do you mean? Tonight’s a huge night. What if it goes bad? What if I freak out? What if everyone hates it?”

Oh… “We can wait to tell Holden and Julian if that would make you feel better.” Fuck, I really don’t want to do that, though. The light at the end of the tunnel just arrived, and I don’t want to stay in the dark anymore.

“What?” Eli asks, his eyes going wide. “What are you talking about?”

“What are you talking about?” I counter.

“My speech tonight. It’s the first time I’ve ever given a speech. What if I’m bad at it? What if people hate it?” He sucks in a sharp breath. “Oh my God. What if I forget everything I was going to say? Or I throw up? Could you imagine? Just puking all over the front row?”

Oh, I’ve got to put a stop to this. “Eli,” I say, stepping closer to him. “That’s not going to happen.”

“But what if it does? What if I trip up the stairs? Are there even going to be stairs? Or worse, what if there aren’t stairs?” How would that be worse? I’m so confused right now. “What if I forget my speech and then everyone laughs at me?”

“Eli. Stop.” I grab his face in my hands, forcing his gaze to mine. “No one is going to laugh at you.”

“They might. I’m hilarious,” he mumbles, trying to be flippant, but I can feel the ragged rise and fall of his chest. He’s really freaking the fuck out.

“Do you want me to make your brain quiet?” I whisper, sliding my hand from his face to his throat. The second my hand is wrapped around it, his entire body slumps, his knees going weak as he inhales a slow breath.

“Please,” he whispers, looking up at me with chaos-filled eyes .

I give his throat a squeeze, not letting loose until his breathing slows and his eyes flutter shut. “I want you to go back to our bed, okay? Then strip naked and wait for me.”

“How long will you be?” he asks, eyes still closed.

“Not long, baby.” I press a kiss to his nose. “I’m going to take Kassie out so she’s not stuck waiting on us, and then I’ll be right there.”

Eli blows out a slow, controlled breath. “Okay.”

“Good boy.”

I let go of his throat, and he takes a step back and then another before turning and making his way into our bedroom.

I make quick work of taking Kassie out, and when I step into the bedroom, Eli is sitting naked in the center of our bed, his eyes closed, his hands resting palm-down on his spread thighs.

His cock is already hard, arching up toward his stomach, flushed red, and leaking at the tip.

“God, doll. You are so fucking gorgeous and such a good boy.”

His cheeks turn a dusty shade of pink, his eyes opening and finding mine. “You think so?”

“I do think so. So pretty, doing exactly what I told you to.”

He nods slowly. I strip my clothes off, watching him the entire time. He’s watching me too, his eyes following each of my movements.

“On your hands and knees, doll. I want your chest against the bed and your ass in the air.”

He scrambles to do what I’ve asked, and when he’s settled, he turns his head to face me. “Are we going to be late?”

I actually don’t know. I hope not, but if we are, we are. We’ve done a lot of legwork to get ready for this fundraiser, but if Eli needs his brain settled down, then that is my number one priority. “You let me worry about the time, baby. You just worry about being my good boy. ”

Every single muscle in his body relaxes. I climb up beside him and place my hand on the back of his thigh. He shivers. “I don’t want you to think about anything, doll. You feel my hand?”

He whimpers. “Yes.”

“Good. Just my hands and my voice. Nothing else, okay?”

“Okay,” he whispers.

I run my hand up the back of his thigh, over the curve of his ass, and up his back, squeezing gently when I get to the nape of his neck. I repeat the motion over and over, mindlessly melting him with my hand.

I adjust, moving until I’m behind him. I cup his ass cheeks, gently kneading the skin and brushing over his hole with my thumb. He moans, rocking his hips back against my hand. “You’re doing so well.”

“I like when you touch me,” Eli whimpers, his voice soft and almost a little whiny.

“That’s good, considering how much I love touching you. My little doll. Mine to touch. And mine to please. Mine to play with, isn’t that right?”

Eli drags in a shaky breath. “Yeah. Yes. Yours. I’m all yours. Will you fuck me? Please? I need it. Need you. Please, please.”

“Aww. You don’t have to beg, baby. I’ll always give you what you want.”

Eli lets out a noise that’s close to a sob, but then he nods. “I know.”

I can’t help but smile at that. “I’m gonna open you up some, doll. Get your sweet little hole ready for me, yes?”

He pushes his hips back, a groan echoing from his throat. I spread his cheeks apart and stare down at his hole. “So pretty, baby.”

“Shut up. It’s not pretty.”

I lean forward and spit on his hole, letting my saliva run down toward his balls before brushing my thumb over it. “You’re wrong. It’s very pretty. I can’t wait to bury myself inside you, doll. Do you want to use a condom?”

Eli moans, rocking his hips like he’s trying to fuck the air. “No. I want your cum in me all night. I want to give my speech with you inside me.”

My cock jerks hard. Oh fuck. I suddenly want that exact same fucking thing. Never in my life have I been so thankful we got tested. “Perfect,” I coo. “My little doll, stuffed with my cum and walking around in a room full of people. I quite like the idea of that.”

“Now, please? Do it now?”

As badly as I want to, I really need to get him ready first. I’ve never rimmed him before, and I’m fucking dying for it.

I want him writhing on my tongue, losing his fucking mind.

I bury my face between his ass cheeks, swiping my tongue over his hole.

He stiffens, likely not prepared for me to do this to him.

I swipe my tongue again, lapping against his hole. It softens almost immediately, so I stiffen my tongue and push the tip into his body. He makes a choked little sound and then stops my heart. “Apple fucking pie.”

I’m off him in a heartbeat, rolling him to his back and staring down at him. “What happened, baby? What’s wrong?”

His eyes blow wide. “You licked my fucking asshole. What do you mean, what’s wrong?”

I open and close my mouth a few times, trying to get my brain to function. “I—” I’m not really sure what to say. “I’m sorry. I should have asked first.”

He blinks at me for a second. “I don’t like that.”

My heart sinks. Fuck. “I’m so sorry, Eli. I’ll never do anything like that without asking first, I promise. ”

“But…” He frowns, his eyes going a little glassy. “I don’t want you to ask before every little thing. I thought I was yours. I thought you were going to take control.”

“I was. I am. I did,” I stutter out, trying to get my head on right. I don’t think I was prepared for how it would feel to have him safe word on me.

“But that’s the point of the safe word, right? To stop if I don’t like something?”

“Of course,” I say quickly, nodding too, just to make sure my point comes across.

“Then…” He blows out a breath. “Then I don’t want you to ask me. I told you. I want you to take charge. You gave me a word that means no. I used it. I don’t want things to change.” He pouts at me. “I just want you to do whatever you want. And I can say stop. Just like I did.”

“That’s a fair point,” I murmur, brushing his inky hair off his forehead. “That’s exactly what the safe word is for. You did so well.”

He beams at me. Absolutely fucking beams. My heart soars. “Okay. Good.”

“Are you okay?” I ask again. “Do you want to stop?”

He shakes his head. “I’m fine, and no. Do you want to stop? Does safe wording mean we have to stop?” There’s a new panic in his voice, like he’s worried he messed up.

“Of course not. Not if you don’t want it to. Did you just not like it, or did I do something that hurt you or upset you?” Is there sexual trauma there I didn’t know about? Did I miss something?

“No. It’s just…” His cheeks turn a bright red, his eyes darting away. “You licked my asshole.” Then he giggles, covering his face with his hands .

I chuckle with him, my heart finally slowing down. “What am I gonna do with you, my little doll?”

“Probably never lick my asshole again,” he says, peeking at me through his fingers.

“I promise.” I give him a little salute, smiling when he giggles again.

“You can still fuck me, though, right? Like now?”

“I can still fuck you, yes.” I kind of want to kiss him, but given that I licked his asshole, I better not. “If that’s what you want?”

He nods so fast it almost makes me laugh. Then he’s rolling back to his front, propping his ass in the air. “Okay, then. Just fingers to prep me this time, yeah?”

I do laugh at that. “You got it, doll.”

I grab the lube, warming it between my fingers before sliding one inside his tight body. I work him open slowly, rotating my wrist and rubbing against his prostate with his whimpers as my soundtrack. “That’s it,” I murmur, adding a second.