Page 14 of Tangled Hearts (Mended Hearts #4)

Eli

N ic jerks away from me so quickly I stumble a bit, my heart thundering in my ears. One second, warm hands are holding my face, grounding me like no one ever has, and the next I’m being damn near thrown to the ground like I’ve personally offended him. “What the actual fuck is your problem?”

The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them—loud and sharp.

A little hateful, if I’m being honest. Nic stiffens, his entire demeanor changing in an instant.

Why am I always being so fucking mean to him?

He helps my dog, talks me down from a panic attack, and here I am, yelling at him.

“Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me. ”

Those words are out before I can stop them too.

I’ve got to get out of here. I step toward Kassie, ready to grab her and run, but I’m stopped by a firm hand on my shoulder.

“Sit down.” Something about the tone of Nic’s voice stops me cold, and I’m sitting down before I can even think about it.

Before I can even consider giving him more shit or getting mouthy .

As soon as I’m settled by Kassie, she’s nosing my side. Always fucking there for me, even after a seizure, and here I am, being a fucking dickhead instead of taking care of her. I sink my fingers into her fur, feeling like I’m about to sob.

Nic kneels in front of me, careful not to touch me. That’s probably for the best, even though some depraved part of me is dying for him to. “You did nothing wrong,” he says slowly. Carefully. “I crossed a line. That was inappropriate, and I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m not mad at you.”

I look into his eyes, studying him hard for any sign that he’s lying. “You promise?” I ask in a shaky whisper.

He nods. “I promise.”

My throat is tight, and it hurts. From yelling and crying and probably the panic a little.

But also, how overwhelmed I am right now.

“I’m sorry,” I say again, my eyes burning.

“I was scared, and she was—and then I just…” I wave my hands helplessly through the air.

“You were trying to help, and I was mean to you.” My voice cracks, but I press on.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I whisper.

“Hey,” Nic says quietly. “There’s nothing wrong with you, okay? You’ve had a rough day, and I crossed a massive line. That’s not on you. That’s on me. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

He didn’t make me uncomfortable at all, though, and I think that might be part of the problem.

Those two words settled me. Somewhere in my soul that I’m entirely too afraid to examine deeply.

More than anything else he did. More than anyone ever has—outside of my dads, I think.

But I can’t say that, clearly, so I settle on, “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. ”

His eyes search my face, and after a few seconds, he nods slowly. “Okay,” he says, but he doesn’t sound relieved the way I thought he would .

We both fall silent. I’m rubbing my fingers along Kassie’s ear to soothe myself just like I did when I was a kid, and we’re just staring at each other, the silence stretching between us.

“I don’t want to go home yet,” I say, surprising myself. “I’m scared to be alone. What if something else happens to Kassie?” Or me? I leave that part out.

“You don’t have to. You can stay here as long as you want.”

Here. What the fuck? My brain comes online as I glance around the sad little hotel room. This feels like a place someone goes to when they have nowhere else to belong. I’m not a fan. “Is this where you live?” I ask, looking back at Nic.

“For now,” Nic says, a sharp edge of defensiveness in his voice.

It makes me smile. “Being a defensive asshole is kinda my schtick, you know?”

Nic bites his lip, but it doesn’t take long, and he’s huffing a quiet laugh. “It’s temporary.” He looks around. “Besides, it’s not so bad.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, the lights in the bathroom turn on and then back off before turning back on. I raise an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that?”

His shoulders slump. “Alright, so it’s not the best, but it’ll be okay.”

I keep petting Kassie while I look around.

The walls are a little dingy, and the bed I’m sitting on feels broken down.

There are stains on the carpet. I guess none of that is really a huge deal.

Not really, but this is Uncle Holden’s brother, and with his history, it would probably trigger the fuck out of him if he knew Nic was staying in some run-down hotel.

“I’m assuming Uncle Holden doesn’t know you’re here. ” I say, my eyes finding Nic’s.

He shakes his head. “Uh, no. Why would he?”

“Because… well, he’s your brother. I just figured you told him. ”

I watch his throat bob with his heavy swallow. “No. I’m not exactly proud of it, you know.”

That makes me feel funny inside. I don’t like it at all. I shift a little, trying to shake off the strange feelings. “You can’t stay here,” I mumble.

Nic lets out an incredulous laugh. “Well, I am. In case you haven’t noticed, this town isn’t exactly brimming with options.”

“Uncle Holden would never be okay with you staying here. You have to know that.”

He scoffs. “How the fuck would I know that, Eli? And better yet, how is he gonna know?” I raise an eyebrow at him, and he narrows his eyes at me. “Don’t tell me you’re going to go tattle.”

I shrug. “Well, I can’t keep it from him.”

“You can, though,” Nic insists. “You don’t have to tell him. He doesn’t need to know.”

I almost laugh at that. “And then what? He finds out anyway, then finds out that I already knew? Then he’s gonna be pissed at both of us.

No thanks.” I sigh, rubbing a hand over Kassie’s belly, when a stupid idea hits me.

It hits me too quick for my brain-to-mouth filter to kick in, and the words, “You can come stay with me,” fly out of my mouth.

Nic’s eyes widen, and I’m pretty sure mine do too, but then he’s shaking his head. “No. I can’t do that.”

Okay, so I didn’t fully mean to offer it, but now that I’m thinking about it, it makes sense.

I have plenty of room, plus it’s kind of like the whole be friends with him thing.

If I keep him close, I can make sure he’s not trying to take my family from me.

God, I’m fucking stupid. How many times am I going to have to tell myself there’s no way that will happen?

“You can,” I say. “You will. Pack up. Let’s go. ”

His mouth opens and closes. “You’re a bossy little shit. But I’m serious. I can’t. ”

“Why not?” Now I’m getting offended because, truly, what the hell is so wrong with me that he doesn’t want to live with me instead of in this shitty-ass hotel?

Nic jumps to his feet, holding his hands out in front of him. “You don’t even like me, Eli. In what world is it a good idea for me to live in your house?”

He thinks I don’t like him? I hate that, but I guess I haven’t given him any reason to think I do. “I don’t dislike you,” I argue, giving Kassie a final pet before standing up. “Besides, you saved my dog and basically shut my brain down by calling me a good boy. We’re practically best friends now.”

Nic’s entire body goes still. “Don’t bring that up. If anything, that’s just further proof that this is a terrible idea.”

“It’s a great idea, actually. I have a three-bedroom house, and the two extras are empty. You’re living in this shithole. It’s the least I can do.”

Nic sighs, running a hand over his face. “I’m not a charity case, Eli. I’m fine here.”

“Fine.” I reach into my pocket and pull my phone out. “I’ll just call Holden.”

Nic drops his hand from his face. “You wouldn’t.”

Ignoring him, I bring up Uncle Holden’s contact and hit the call button, putting the phone on speaker. At the first ring, Nic takes a step toward me, his eyes widening. “Eli,” he hisses, grabbing for the phone.

I hold it back out of his reach, and it rings again. In seconds, Nic’s arm is wrapped around my waist, and he’s tugging me against him while grabbing at the phone and trying to pry it from my hand.

His entire body is pressed against mine as he tries to get the phone from me, lighting up nerve endings I didn’t even know I had.

Holy shit. Abort mission. I let go of the phone, and he takes it from my hand with a sigh.

He hangs up before Holden’s voicemail has a chance to pick up. “What the hell, Eli?”

I truly don’t know. All I know is that the warm, solid length of him is pressing into my body and his arm is still wrapped around me, and he smells so fucking good . “Uh—” I swallow hard, my throat going a little dry. “I—um…”

Just as quick as he grabbed me, Nic lets go and takes a step back. “Fine. Okay. Fine.” He drags his hands through his unruly hair while I work on calming myself back down. My heart is going about a mile a minute, and my stomach is in knots. What the hell?

“Fine?” I croak out, surprised at how rough my voice sounds. “You’ll come stay with me?” Nic starts mumbling under his breath, but all I pick out is, bad idea, and what will Holden think? “Holden will think you needed a place to stay, and I offered. I’m a big boy. I can make my own choices.”

He sighs. “Yes. Fine. Just… promise me that if you want me to leave, you’ll tell me.”

I shrug because, really, it might actually be nice to not be alone all the time. I really fucking hate being alone.

“Also,” Nic adds, studying me. “If I’m staying with you, I want to pay half your rent.” I laugh out loud at that, and he shoots me an exasperated look. “I’m serious, Eli. It’s important to me.”

“This is gonna make me sound like a spoiled brat, but my dads bought my house. They paid cash. So, um—I guess you can help with groceries. Uncle Julian put a shitload of insulation in it, so it’s pretty cheap on electric, but you can pay part of that too if you want.”

Nic holds his hand out, and I giggle, taking it to shake it. Something strange and tingly happens to my hand and arm at the contact. He smiles. “Deal. But I’m serious, if you want me out, just say the word. No hard feelings.”

I think it’s gonna be just fine.

It’s not fine.

It’s not bad, and it hasn’t blown up in our faces.

Other than some curious looks and Holden quietly pulling me to the side and asking if I was sure, everything’s gone okay.

The real problem is that Nic is ignoring me.

And look, I know that he doesn’t have to be my friend just because he lives with me, but I was hoping he would be.

I hoped that he’d actually want to spend time with me.

He’s also a bit of a slob. I mean, not in like a bad way, I guess. But when you spend most of your formative years living in absolute filth, having a couple of dishes in the sink feels like too much.

It’s only been two weeks, but I think he’s already decided I’m too much because he’s basically barricaded himself in his room. I feel bad. We don’t talk. There’s no playful teasing. But there’s also no me yelling at him, so I’m sure he probably appreciates that.

There’s a knock at my door. There’s literally only one person it can be, so I tell Nic to come in.

The door swings open. “I’m going to Holden’s.”

I nod, swallowing down my discomfort. “Okay.”

He closes the door without another word.

There’s also been a lot of that. Him going to Holden’s.

He also hasn’t spent any time with me at the center.

He met my dads without me. At a dinner I wasn’t invited to.

Not that I could have gone anyway, since I was working late at Safe Haven, but an invitation still would have been nice.

He visits Holden without me. For that matter, even Holden has barely talked to me.

Sure, we’ve texted, but usually he’s calling me all the time.

He hasn’t even called me his little bestie in, like, three days.

I know that’s probably incredibly stupid.

I sigh, glancing over at Kassie. She stares at me with her big brown eyes. “What do you think, girl? Am I being overdramatic?”

I could probably call Molly and Liam to come keep me company, but I’d likely be shitty company tonight anyway. Nah, it’s best if I just wallow in my own bullshit alone.

I should try to get out of this funk, so I climb out of my bed and change into something comfortable—a pair of baggy sweats I stole from Beck and a t-shirt I stole from Roman.

I kinda just want to feel close to them.

They trusted my choice to have Nic live with me, and I can’t let them think it was the wrong one.

I whistle for Kassie and she hops off my bed, following me into the living room. I curl up on the couch, and when she jumps up beside me, I rest my head on her. This whiny mood calls for a comfort show, so I get settled with a blanket from the back of the couch and turn on Grey’s Anatomy.

Dad and Uncle Holden both hate this show. Uncle Holden especially. He constantly complains about the lack of nurses and how nurses are the backbone of any hospital. I agree with him, but dammit, sometimes a guy just wants to watch some relationship drama and Alex Karev in peace.

I let my fingers run through Kassie’s fur as the show plays. It’s mostly background noise at this point, and I’m exhausted, so I close my eyes and listen.