Page 87 of Sketching Mr. Darcy
Another long pause followed, filled with tension and shared embarrassment.
“I am glad you told me. There are many things about which I wish to speak to Jane, and tonight will be a good opportunity,” she concluded. He just smiled and kissed her hand.
***
Not only the Darcys but also the Gardiners decided to return to Town, so the rest of the day was exceedingly agitated and tiresome with preparation.
Dr. Taylor gave strict advice to Mr Bennet and to Jane—who took the responsibility for following it. Mrs Bennet’s nerves struggled with all the excitement but were somehow calmed by Mr Bingley’s presence and the prospect of being Mr Darcy’s guest very soon .
Elizabeth spent half an hour speaking with both Lydia and Kitty.
She made them see their future prospects.
She warned them about the danger of jeopardising their good names and insisted on more propriety and decorum on their part.
Elizabeth also promised to reward their good behaviour with invitations to Town for the Season, with a proper coming out party in the next year and a private ball for them, hosted at the Meryton assembly, with the attendance of all of Meryton society.
Lydia and Kitty could not breathe from excitement.
Dinner was equally rich but more silent than previous meals yet by no means less pleasant. Mr Bennet found great joy in teasing his wife and daughters but also his gentlemen guests.
It was discussed that their departure would take place early in the morning. Soon after dinner, the ladies retired to their rooms. The gentlemen—except Mr Bennet—remained in the library to enjoy a last glass of brandy and finish discussing some business.
Elizabeth spent a few more minutes with Jane then changed for the night.
She felt cold, put a log on the fire, pulled the curtains open so she could see outside, and wrapped herself in the blankets, waiting to fall asleep.
The night was lit by the moon and stars, and she was suddenly bothered by so much light, so she pulled the curtains closed again then returned to bed wondering what he was doing.
His words from earlier in the garden were still vivid in her mind, and she was equally ashamed, overwhelmed, and delighted by his improper confession.
He was right to go to Netherfield. He was much wiser than she was.
And tomorrow they would be back home— their home .
Finally, she felt warm and safe, and both her mind and body relaxed, diving into a most charming dream.
She turned to find a more comfortable position, and only then did she realise it was real: the safety, warmth, and peace came from the arms of her husband wrapped around her.
She sighed and moved closer, her head resting near his shoulder.
“You did not go to Netherfield…”
“No,” he replied, pulling her near his chest and kissing her hair.
Her heavy eyes glanced at him. “But you said you cannot bear another night…”
“I know what I said, but I always prided myself on the power of my self-control. Besides, it is a husband’s duty to put his wife’s wishes above his own weakness. You wanted me to be here—and I am.”
She brushed over his torso while searching for the perfect position. One hand glided down his shirt towards his waist, and her head rested upon his heart. He caressed her hair and breathed deeply, already struggling with his vaunted self-control.
“Are you comfortable?” he asked gently.
“Yes, perfectly, Thank you, my love,” she whispered as she was quickly overcome by sleep.
Darcy held his breath, bewitched by her scent and her warm softness, and not daring to believe the meaning of the words he just heard.
Longbourn, 9 January, morning
When daylight came, the entire house was fully awake and ready for breakfast. Mr Bingley also arrived, offering his help if it were needed. The luggage was arranged, good-byes shared, light tears and regrets hidden, and promises exchanged.
Mr Darcy generously proposed that Elizabeth, Mrs Gardiner, and the children take his carriage—which was significantly larger—while the three gentlemen travelled in the Gardiners’.
The journey back to London began on an icy, serene day. The roads were fairly good, and the distance, which in summer took less than three hours, was covered in almost eight with three stops.
After some brief conversation in the gentlemen’s carriage, the time was mostly passed in silence. Darcy found a well-deserved rest and even fell asleep at times.
The ladies and the children spent an animated and trying time. Elizabeth settled with her aunt an invitation to dinner in two days. Mrs Gardiner confessed her delight and her nervousness at the thought of being in Lady Anne’s home and meeting her daughter.
London, 9 January, afternoon
Dr. Taylor was taken first to his residence and then the Gardiners to theirs.
Finally, Elizabeth and Darcy were alone in their carriage, peaceful and strangely uneasy. They sat opposite each other, smiling, holding gazes as he took her hands. No words were said, no other gesture made—only thoughts, hopes, and promises silently shared.
At five in the afternoon, Mr and Mrs Darcy arrived home, and their reception was heartwarming.
Mrs Thomason welcomed them first, and immediately after, lively barking and the sound of scrambling paws preceded the impetuous entry of Titan and Lucky, jumping so happily that they almost pushed the Darcys down.
Both dogs were rewarded with tender attention.
Shortly after, Peter entered, bowing properly to the master and mistress, and a few minutes later, Georgiana ran to embrace her brother and sister.
With great difficulty, Elizabeth and Darcy managed to walk to the stairs, promising to return shortly.
The dogs followed them, then stopped and looked at Peter. Both remained uncertain, glancing to each of their favourite humans. Darcy turned to Peter.
“I can see you took good care of the dogs. They seem fond of you. ”
“Yes, master. I love them.”
“The dogs suffered when you left,” Georgiana intervened. “They barked and whined at your doors so I decided to let Peter sleep in the small guest room in the family wing with both Titan and Lucky. It was the only way to keep them at peace.”
“I shall move at once, master,” Peter said hastily.
“It seems a perfect arrangement, and I would like to keep it that way. Both Mrs Darcy and I will need to rest undisturbed at least a few more days, and I think the dogs will be perfectly fine with you. Is that acceptable to you, Peter?”
The boy stared in disbelief at the master asking his opinion instead of chasing him away from the family wing.
“Yes, sir, yes… Thank you.”
“Excellent,” Darcy said, forcing the smirk from his face.
“Brother—Robert, Thomas, and Maryanne are to visit later. They do not know you have returned. And Aunt Matlock invited me for dinner tonight, but I will postpone that. And there is something I need to speak to you about later,” she said shyly.
“Excellent,” Darcy repeated, barely hearing his sister’s words.
Molly and Stevens unpacked their belongings and ordered hot water for bathing later in the evening. The two dogs ran freely between their feet, and the only privacy Elizabeth and Darcy could share were smiles and short whispers of “I am happy to be home.”
While Darcy checked his mail, Elizabeth briefly changed her clothes and hastened downstairs.
She greeted Mrs Annesley, embraced Georgiana again, and then paid a short visit to the staff area.
Her presence was much appreciated, and Carlton, the cook, asked her preference for dinner and then daringly inquired after her father.
After that part of her duties was accomplished, Elizabeth planned to return to Georgiana. However, her steps took her to the front of the gallery once again, and after looking around to be certain nobody observed her foolish gesture, she curtseyed properly and said:
“Good day, Lady Anne, we just returned home. I am so happy to see you again.” Then she smiled at her own foolishness and brushed her fingers over the painting.
Precisely two weeks earlier at the same time, she had arrived at Darcy’s house, overwhelmed by worries, questions, fears, and self-reproaches.
And then, in front of that painting, she had recollected Lady Anne and their meeting ten years before.
Her heart was suddenly filled with emotion, and her eyes moistened with tears.
She decidedly wiped them and smiled as she stepped closer.
“Lady Anne, my eyes are full of joy again,” she whispered.
“Elizabeth? I was looking for you and I thought I might find you here.”
“I know it is silly, but I came to greet Lady Anne,” she answered her husband.
His arms embraced her from behind as his lips touched her hair. ”It is not silly…”
“I was remembering when I first arrived two weeks ago precisely. Was it only a fortnight? I truly feel as if it were a year at least. I clearly recollect my feelings as the memories of my meeting with Lady Anne and Georgiana came back to me.”
“I remember too. I remember every moment of every day since I first met you, Elizabeth.”
There was silence again, and his tender embrace proved the truth of his words. She felt warm, safe, and happy, and she turned in his arms to face him.
She released a small cry when, to her complete surprise, Lucky jumped on her. She leant to pet him while the dog moved from her to Darcy.
“My sweet boy, I missed you. I hope you missed me too, but you seem to favour a certain person at least as much as you do me. ”
She laughed, caressing the dog, and then turned to her husband.
“I am so surprised at how quickly Lucky has grown fond of you. He liked you almost from the first moment. It was as if you were an old friend he forgot about and just met again.”
“He must have felt from the beginning how much I liked you ,” Darcy said, smiling.
The dog played around a couple more minutes then ran off.
Darcy put his arms back around her, and she leant against him. He kissed her temple.
“Elizabeth,” he said hesitantly, caressing her hair. “There is something I have wanted to tell you for the last two weeks, but I never found the right moment. Since we are here again, it seems the perfect occasion.”
She withdrew slightly to meet his eyes. “This sounds very serious. Should I worry?”
“No, not at all—quite the opposite.” He smiled, gently touching her face.
“I… Ten years ago, I was with my father and Robert in Brighton, visiting my mother. Unfortunately, things did not progress as well as we expected, and by the time we arrived, she was in bed, too weak to walk. Poor Georgiana was so frightened, never leaving her side. My father was lost, and I was helpless. I was not even nineteen. And one day—it was cloudy and windy, and I went for a walk just to escape the pain I was feeling…”
Elizabeth listened, curious as to what else remained unsaid while a heavy weight burdened her chest.
He tightened his arms around her as if he were afraid she might leave.
“Robert followed me until I reached the beach. I walked in haste, with no purpose, while the wind blew stronger; I remember it started to rain. Suddenly I heard the cries of a woman and a girl, and I looked towards the water. There, a small head appeared in the waves, and I immediately ran to it. The sea was not deep—it barely passed my chest. I walked through the water, easily grabbed the child—it was a girl—and took her out. She was crying, and on the beach I noticed in her arms a small black and white puppy that seemed drowned. I remember stroking the puppy’s belly and heart; he quickly recovered.
The girl thanked me for saving her puppy while the woman and the other girl embraced her. ”
His eyes were watching her face as he spoke, and he could easily perceive the turmoil inside her: the sadness, curiosity, surprise, disbelief, and shock, and then the pallor, the slight tremble of her lips, the tears in her eyes, and the quiver of her entire body.
Her hands fell from around his waist, and she withdrew slightly, attempting to evade his arms.
Darcy continued.
“I completely forgot about the story until the day we wed when you told me how you met my mother and a strange hero saved you and Lucky. I wished to tell you back then, but things were so strange between us. I was so much in love with you and so disappointed that your feelings were quite the opposite. Since you spoke so warmly about that young man you considered your hero, it seemed inappropriate to say, ‘Well, I am that hero.’ I simply could not do it. And then…I know it might sound selfish and arrogant, but I wished so much for you to care for me, to feel something for me without being influenced by the past. I wanted to gain your good opinion, your affection… I remember the first evening of our marriage when we drank wine together and you fell asleep: I promised myself to become your hero again. Pretty silly and childish, I know.”
He smiled nervously, his arms tightening around her as she still attempted to pull away.
Elizabeth had no strength for a single word. Her mind was spinning as her heart raced wildly and her knees grew weaker each moment. It could not be—could not be possible!
He saved my life ten years ago? He was the one whose face I struggled to remember for so many years? The man whom my relatives tried so hard to find and thank? The one I have admired since I was ten? And Lucky—is it possible that Lucky somehow remembered him? He saved me? He?!
Questions flew inside her mind as she stopped breathing, staring as if seeing him for the first time. She pulled back again, and this time his arms released her. She turned to run, but her feet betrayed her, and she fell on her knees in front of Lady Anne’s portrait, tearful and drained of emotion.
She felt herself lifted and carried. She recognised her husband’s arms then the softness of her bed. As she closed her eyes, she felt his kiss on her temple and heard the door closing.