Page 67 of Sketching Mr. Darcy
“I am not certain how to answer. We have always counted on his industry.”
“We all do, it seems. However, perhaps things will change in time. I have only been near him a few days, and I find his knowledge quite fascinating. I can imagine how exciting it must be for a young gentleman, smart and educated like you, to learn the secrets of success from an older cousin.”
“Indeed, Mrs Darcy. I shall not detain you any longer. I thank you for this delightful conversation and hope to meet again very soon—perhaps at the ball in two days’ time?”
“It was a pleasure to speak to you, sir. You are always welcome in your cousin’s home.”
“Mrs Darcy… do you know whether my cousin is upset with me? We are very different and always will be, and we have had some differences, and—”
“I know that my husband is fond of you. Any other subject you should discuss with him.”
“You are right, of course. I will.” He took a few steps and stopped again. “I apologise for my improper behaviour when we first met. Now that I come to know you better, I can see how inappropriate my jokes have been.”
“It is fine, sir. If one learns from one’s own errors, that is always a praiseworthy trait.”
He mumbled something and left, bowing again, while Elizabeth promised she would inform Mr Darcy of his visit.
Once alone, she felt lighthearted and rather satisfied.
She did not break her husband’s confidence nor actually tell James anything, but she implied more than enough to make him feel the scolding and understand her reproaches.
The rest of the day, Elizabeth read in the library—joined by Libby, Peter and both dogs.
The children read diligently though Elizabeth noticed they were more preoccupied with the dogs that lay at their feet.
A note from Lady Maryanne reminded her of their visit to the modiste the next day.
Under the present circumstances, her interest in the event was lost, but spending time with ladies of her age would surely make the time pass easier.
During the afternoon, Elizabeth spent another half hour looking at the paintings, recollecting the first time she entered the house nine days earlier.
So many things had happened since then, so many things she had discovered about the man whom she reluctantly married and about whose character she knew so little.
She still had much to learn before sketching him completely—the man who had left the day before and whose absence she felt most vividly.
The night was no better. She rested less and more poorly than the previous one.
Lucky seemed unsettled and distressed, and so was Titan—who barked at the adjoined door until Elizabeth opened it and invited him in.
Some time was needed before the dogs fell asleep, and Elizabeth remained alert much longer.
She again went through each moment she and her husband spent together since they first met, the day he came to propose, then the time they shared after the wedding, and then last night when they were closer to each other than she could ever have imagined.
If he had not been forced to leave, that night might have ended differently.
She blushed as she dared to wonder how it would have been if there had been more…
and what would happen when he returned. Would he still keep his promise?
Did she wish for him to keep his promise?
Was she willing to deny him something that he confessed he desired and longed for so much?
Was it truly the first time that he was so passionate about a woman?
About her? Or perhaps it was only the strong temptation of something that he wished for and could not have.
Surely, other women with whom he had shared intimate moments had not refused him anything.
Would he lose interest in her after things happened, as they should have more than a week ago?
And was she able to offer him what he seemed to fantasise about?
She was not ignorant of what a woman and a man shared within a marriage. Her aunt had approached the subject with both her and Jane delicately and seriously. She trusted her aunt that a wife could enjoy the marriage bed as much as her husband did.
Regardless of what she knew, those small interludes with her husband, his embraces, his touches, his kisses, and the moments from last night—of which her mind was so full that it still made her quiver—were different from what she imagined.
She had been told and shown in pictures what was supposed to happen, but she had not been warned of what she was supposed to feel .
By morning, she realised she would by no means oppose becoming his wife as soon as he returned.
***
London, 5 January
A strong, bright sun was lightening the day, and the snow had finally stopped.
Georgiana and Mrs Annesley joined Elizabeth for breakfast and declared they would keep her company to Madame Claudette’s.
“To be honest, I would rather take a short stroll in the park. I have not much interest in getting the dresses today as we will likely not attend the ball. I doubt William will return by tomorrow, and if he does, he must be very tired from the road.”
“But the dresses will be useful anyway. There will be other balls soon,” Georgiana said.
“You are correct, of course,” Elizabeth agreed with a large smile.
“Mrs Darcy, I meant to ask you: Did you receive your letter a couple of days ago? I found it when I searched for Miss Darcy’s correspondence, and I put it in your apartment.”
Elizabeth looked at Mrs Annesley with no little surprise.
“Yes… I was wondering who brought the letter; Molly knew nothing of it.”
“I hope I did not do wrong. You were with Mr Darcy in the library and— ”
“It is fine,” Elizabeth said. Mrs Annesley little knew how her genuine error unleashed a succession of dramatic confessions, which most likely had changed the life of both her and her husband. How easily the mystery of the letter was solved!
The morning passed away, and around two in the afternoon, they left for the modiste.
Lady Mary, Lady Isabella and Lady Maryanne were already there, having tea and sweets and chatting animatedly.
With a slight pettishness, Elizabeth observed that the ladies were accompanied by Mr Hasting and Lord Clayton.
The presence of the gentlemen on such a private visit made her uneasy, and Georgiana must have felt the same as she kept glancing out the window.
“How long will this last?” Mr Hasting asked. “I must have been deranged to be persuaded to come here. I’d rather see ladies’ gowns in their proper environment.”
“Well, I know my husband would not have come,” Lady Maryanne said with a smile.
“Neither has Darcy, as I see,” Lord Clayton said, and Elizabeth frowned.
“My husband had to leave for Box Hill two days ago. There were some important problems there that needed his immediate attention,” she answered.
“What problems could force him to travel in such weather?” Lord Clayton asked.
“How was it possible for Mr Darcy to leave just before the ball,” Lady Isabella continued. “What if he does not return in time? Surely, you cannot miss the Twelfth Night ball. Everyone who means anything in London will be there.”
“I do not believe Mr Darcy considered the ball when he decided to leave—nor the bad weather. I am very proud that he put comfort and enjoyment below his duties,” Elizabeth replied rather sharply, realising that a stroll in the park would have been more pleasant than this gathering.
“Perhaps, but still—what if problems occur at each of his estates? He cannot be on the road all the time!” Mr Hasting said, puzzled.
“Let us hope and pray that will not happen.” Elizabeth smiled politely, considering again that her husband had a different sense of responsibility than people from his own circle.
“Well, since you gentlemen are here, you must give us your opinions about the dresses. We will show them to you as we try them on,” Lady Mary said, and Lord Clayton approved energetically.
Elizabeth’s patience slowly evaporated. Fortunately, a shop girl invited each of them into separate rooms. She tried on two gowns—the dress for the ball and another for frequent use—and she felt happy with her own image in the mirror.
She wondered what her husband would say when he saw her and which set of jewels he would recommend.
Perhaps he would again put the necklace around her neck and—
“Mrs Darcy, is everything all right?”
Elizabeth startled and smiled at the shop girl. “Yes, perfect, thank you.”
The girl changed her back into her morning gown, and Elizabeth returned to the others.
“Mrs Darcy, is there any problem with the dresses?” Lady Isabella asked, proudly wearing a beautiful new gown.
“Not at all—everything is perfect.” She smiled.
“Then why did you not show them to us?” Lady Mary continued, and Elizabeth could feel Lord Clayton’s stare. She breathed deeply, forcing herself to keep her countenance.
“I believe Mr Darcy should be the first person to see me in the new dresses,” she said with complete seriousness, then attempted a smile to warm her sharp tone. “Besides, I am keeping the surprise for the ball. But your ladyship looks stunning.”
About an hour passed before Elizabeth decided to leave.
Even Georgiana had become uncomfortable with the long visit.
Her intention to depart was met with regrets by the others, and friendly farewells were made with the promise of meeting again at the ball.
Lord Clayton hurried to escort the ladies to their carriage, a proper gesture that Elizabeth could not refuse.
It took a moment for the carriage to arrive, and Lord Clayton helped Mrs Annesley to enter. Elizabeth was stunned and left speechless by a well-known voice calling to them.
“Mrs Darcy, Miss Darcy—what an astonishing surprise to see you both. I hardly remember when I was last so delighted!”
After a moment of complete shock, Elizabeth found the strength to speak calmly.