Page 39 of Sketching Mr. Darcy

She tried to sit then moved around the room again.

She had not been a model of decorum either in that discussion with her husband!

She could have confronted him about the entire situation in a different manner.

Dearest Jane would surely be saddened by such a display of anger.

She briefly wondered whether any servant heard their argument.

It was very likely, considering that both of them had raised their voices.

Yes, she upheld her beliefs and her sister, and he could not blame her for that as he himself told her more than once that he wished her to continue to do so.

She felt proud of that but not her manner of doing it.

She leant back in the armchair, her fists still clenched, and gazed outside.

It was snowing steadily again just like the previous evening before they walked in the park.

That seemed such a long time ago. Suddenly, as her mind went blank, every other thought vanished except one: who was in the carriage that had stopped in front of the house earlier?

She could not say whether an hour or a few minutes had passed before knocks on the door startled her.

She regained her composure enough to realise that it was the inside door, so she rose to her feet and straightened her posture as though preparing for battle before she asked her husband to enter. It was not over yet.

***

The discussion that turned into a fight took Darcy completely by surprise, and by the time he left Elizabeth’s room in anger, he still could not entirely recollect what occurred.

He had returned home from the club in excellent spirits, content to finally have the settlement finished and hoping that both Elizabeth and Mr Bennet would be pleased with it.

He looked forward to arriving home and spending some pleasant moments with Elizabeth before dinner, perhaps showing her the jewels and choosing the set she would wear the next day.

The previous evening’s walk was still vivid in his mind, and he could not remember when he last felt so pleased to spend time in someone’s company. Elizabeth was as charming, witty, and friendly as he could hope.

The moment he stopped in front of the house, he was shocked to be approached by Annabelle’s maid and even more shocked to discover she was waiting in her carriage only a few feet away, insisting she speak to him.

That was completely nonsensical, and at first, he was tempted to censure the servant most severely.

But then he realised it was not wise to start a fight with Annabelle in full view of everyone.

So he entered her carriage briefly and demanded that she stop making a fool of herself.

Annabelle insisted she needed to speak to him in private as she had some difficult problems for which she needed his advice, and she seemed serious and troubled enough.

So, in a hurry to leave the compromising situation and slightly preoccupied that she might have been in some real trouble, he promised he would call on her in the next two days.

He then entered the house and was surprised to find neither Georgiana nor Elizabeth nor Mrs Annesley in the music room.

The doorman informed him that Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst had called, and Darcy was certain that such a visit was a daunting task for both his sister and his wife.

He was also certain that Elizabeth’s strength and intelligence were good weapons to contend with Caroline Bingley, and when he entered his wife’s chamber, he anticipated an amusing description of the visit and teasing comments about Miss Bingley’s admiration for him.

Instead, he found Elizabeth in a state of anger that disconcerted him.

First, he thought that she might have seen him entering Annabelle’s carriage, and he wondered why she was so upset about a situation she knew nothing about.

Shortly after he discovered the real reason, he was equally relieved and troubled.

So, Caroline Bingley lost not a moment in informing Elizabeth of his part in Bingley’s departure.

Although he felt no qualms about his decision at the time—and was convinced that he did what was best for his friend—he was not indifferent to Elizabeth’s distress. And he had to bear the embarrassment of plotting with Bingley’s sisters and explain that to Elizabeth.

In retrospect—and better knowing both Jane and Mr Bennet—Darcy often wondered whether he had been mistaken in his judgment.

Yes, he should have spoken with Elizabeth about these things, and perhaps that was the perfect moment to do so.

Yes, she was upset, but she would surely understand his point of view.

However, in an instant, their conversation took a turn that Darcy failed to understand.

She accused him of being uncivil and insensitive and of imposing his will upon everybody!

She mentioned even Georgiana. What could she possibly know?

She was so harsh towards him—and deeply unfair.

And of course, she did not miss the chance to insinuate that he took away the “rightful legacy” from an old “acquaintance.” He easily recognised Wickham’s words, and from that moment, he lost any mastery of his reactions.

Anger overcame his reason, and he little remembered what was said—except that Elizabeth would rather have him mistreat her than ruin Jane’s happiness.

At that, he answered something, but he did not remember the exact words.

The only vivid memory was her pale, troubled expression, the shadow in her eyes, and the door slammed behind him.

Darcy’s anger grew with every moment. Nothing had changed: she was as unreasonable as ever and as ready to believe the worst in him. How could she take Caroline’s words to heart and not give him a chance to defend himself? Was that the proper behaviour of a wife?

Even if he had been wrong about Bingley, was he not the one who encouraged her to invite Jane to visit them?

Could she not see that his intentions were for the best?

Could she not appreciate his attempt to please her?

Surely, he did more than any other man would have done in his position.

After all, she was the one who had all the advantages in this marriage, and she was still ungrateful!

And Wickham—her interest in that poor excuse for a man seemed as vigorous as ever.

Her remarks now were similar to those at the Netherfield ball.

He wondered whether she spoke to Wickham in the days before their marriage; likely, she did.

Elizabeth accused him of not informing her, but how could he tell her about that ?

It was too soon for such a disclosure although Wickham had not restrained himself from exposing his part in the matter weeks ago.

She seemed eager to believe a man without honour and never questioned his account.

Darcy poured himself a glass of brandy as he moved from one chair to another, paced the room, then sat again.

With a second glass of brandy in hand, he approached the window.

It was snowing just like the evening before.

It would have been suitable weather for another short walk after dinner, if only they had not fought so violently before and if he had not declared that he would no longer try to please her.

Although, he had to admit that walking together alone in the park was for his pleasure as much as hers.

And, if he was to think more clearly, he had also acquired some advantages from this marriage.

Her bare fingers wiping the snow from his face and her eyes sparkling under the moonlight might have been some of them…

He glanced at the closed door and slowly approached it.

Then he returned to the table and filled a third glass of brandy.

A moment later, he threw it into the fire, exciting the flames.

He returned to the door again and listened, but the heavy wood did not allow him to hear much.

So, without giving himself time to think and properly decide—or knowing what he would do next—he knocked.

***

“Elizabeth, may I come in? I would like to speak to you again.”

You may do whatever you want. It is your house, and you are the master, she was tempted to say aloud, but she regained her composure enough to reply shortly, “Of course.”

She stood still, watching him. He held her gaze for a short while then lowered his eyes, took a few steps, and started to speak.

“I had not been long in Hertfordshire before I saw, in common with others, that Bingley preferred your eldest sister to any other young woman in the country. While I do not wish to diminish your sister’s merits, I had often seen Bingley in love before, so I did not take his preference seriously.

During that ball, I discovered that Bingley’s attentions to your sister had given rise to a general expectation of their marriage.

From that moment, I observed my friend’s behaviour attentively, and I could then perceive that his partiality for Miss Bennet was beyond what I had ever witnessed in him.

Your sister I also watched. Her look and manners were open and cheerful as ever but with no symptom of peculiar regard, and I remained convinced that, though she received his attentions with pleasure, she did not invite them by any participation of sentiment. ”

“You were mistaken, sir!” Elizabeth interrupted with haste. “Jane is not the kind of person to openly display her feelings, yet this does not make them any less ardent. I assure you that Mr Bingley’s attachment was closely mirrored by Jane’s affection.”