Page 54 of Sketching Mr. Darcy

S ilence fell upon the chamber, then his fingers caressed hers, betraying his nervousness. Elizabeth saw he was struggling with something, but before she inquired, he continued.

“There is more I should tell, as you asked me to not keep anything from you. I am afraid I will upset you, but it must be said. I do not want any other misunderstandings between us.”

“From your expression, it seems rather grave…”

“It is about Wickham. I know you favoured his company, and it is not easy for me to hurt you with this, but it must be done. Despite his pleasant manners, he is not a good man. He is two years older than James, and they have been good friends since they were children. I am afraid many of James’s bad habits are the result of his alliance with Wickham. ”

“I see. Would you please tell me why you judge Mr Wickham as not being a good man? I am not debating your saying it. I just wish to understand. I know he was a favourite of your father, but you seem to disapprove of him completely.”

“I will—and for everything I tell you, you may approach Robert for confirmation.”

“Surely, you cannot imagine that I will doubt your words. I just need to know your side of the story as Mr Wickham trusted me with his part. My opinion about what he told me has already changed during the last weeks as I noticed several details I had missed before.”

“I imagined he told you something. Our conversation during the Netherfield ball revealed to me your reproaches about the way I treated him, and I was tempted to speak to you then, but I wonder whether you would have believed me. Besides, at that time I had decided never to return to Hertfordshire, so I selfishly decided to keep silent.”

“I fear I would have doubted your words back then,” she admitted with embarrassment.

“Many would have, considering my behaviour at that time. George Wickham is the son of a most honourable man who had the management of Pemberley estates for many years. My father valued him, and as a favour, he became the godfather of Mr Wickham’s son.

He was fond of young Wickham—who knew very well how to gain his affection—and had a high opinion of him.

He supported George at Cambridge and hoped the church would be his profession.

I started to see George in a different manner many years ago, in unguarded moments, which my father could not have.

He was lacking principles and honour, and his manners were superficial and not worth trusting.

I am sorry if I pain you, and I can offer you many examples to illustrate my assessment. ”

“Please do not presume that you pain me with that disclosure and that I need additional proof. So Mr Darcy left him a living?”

“In his will, my father recommended to me to promote his advancement in the best manner that his profession might allow and, if he took orders, desired that a valuable family living might be his. There was also a legacy of one thousand pounds. His own father did not long survive mine, and within half a year, Wickham informed me that he did not wish to take orders but had decided to study the law. He said he expected some immediate pecuniary advantage in lieu of the preferment by which he could not be benefited. He resigned all claim to assistance in the church and accepted in return three thousand pounds.”

“Three thousand pounds? That is a very important sum!”

“A total of four thousand pounds was hardly enough for Wickham as his life was one of idleness and dissipation. For about three years, I heard little of him until he applied to me again, telling me that his situation was very poor—which I could believe—and asking me to grant him the living my father left him. You will hardly blame me for refusing to comply with this entreaty or for resisting every repetition of it, which made his resentment grow. He was doubtless as violent in his abuse of me to others as in his reproaches to myself.”

Elizabeth listened to his confession with revulsion and self-reproach. She remembered how hastily she had believed Wickham and blamed Darcy, as well as Charlotte’s words about her wrong judgment of both gentlemen. She could do little else but confess her failure.

“I am so sorry, William. What a fool I have been! When we all met in Meryton, he noticed that I observed your exchange. I was not very fond of you then, and I mentioned to him something about hoping he would not leave town because of you—and that was enough for him to understand that I was an easy recipient for his malicious stories.”

“Please do not blame yourself. Many people have been deceived by George Wickham. So, he was left without resources until James’s father passed away too.

Three years ago, James became the master of a house in London and a very important sum, which was lost in a most dishonourable way.

Starting last year, despite the debts I purchased to save him, James kept asking me for money in advance of his inheritance, which he will get when he turns twenty-five.

I refused him, and our relationship began to worsen day by day.

Of Wickham I heard little, but I was certain he was somewhere close to James. ”

“What a disturbing situation... ”

“Indeed. I still hope James will prove that he is the worthy son of his excellent father and make us proud of him. And I give you my word: I would have supported Wickham too if I had the smallest sign that he intended to change his behaviour.”

She held his gaze for a long while, hoping her eyes would tell him more clearly what her words kept repeating. She hesitated for a while, but she could not refrain from inquiring—carefully so as not to betray her new sister’s confidence.

“But William—does Georgiana know about Mr Wickham’s true character? She must remember him as being the family friend, and she might be easily deceived—as I was.”

He frowned and paced impatiently. His turmoil increased, arousing Elizabeth’s worry.

“Georgiana is the reason I am so enraged with Wickham. Last summer, Georgiana was settled in Ramsgate with her companion from that time, a Mrs Younge. Somehow, Mr Wickham found out and joined them there, undoubtedly by design. There was proved to have been a prior acquaintance between him and Mrs Younge, in whose character we were most unhappily deceived. In short, he visited Georgiana a few times, reminded her of the happy years at Pemberley and gave her special attention. Her kindness made her an easy victim, and she was persuaded to believe herself in love and to consent to an elopement.”

“Dear Lord,” cried Elizabeth, biting her lips in distress. “Is it possible?”

“It is… Fortunately, I joined them unexpectedly a day or two before the elopement, and Georgiana, unable to support the idea of grieving and offending me, acknowledged the whole to me. You may imagine what I felt and how I acted. Regard for my sister’s feelings prevented any public disclosure.

I also tried to protect her by not exposing the whole ugliness of Wickham’s character to her.

I convinced her that it was unwise to make such a gesture at a young ag e.

I assured her that I should never stay in the way of her happiness once she is mature enough to know what is right for her.

How could I have told her that Wickham only used her as a way to gain money for his gaming debts?

That he would have done the same with any daughter of a shop owner who had a reasonable dowry? ”

Elizabeth’s eyes turned tearful, and cold shivers of panic travelled down her spine.

The brief talks with Georgiana suddenly took on a dramatic meaning, and the perspective that she still had tender feelings for Wickham made Elizabeth dizzy.

She understood her husband’s reasoning and his desire to protect Georgiana, but she sensed the danger behind the story.

“With Wickham and with Mrs Younge, though, I had a very angry meeting. I demanded they both leave and never cross paths with me, or I would take drastic measures against them. Wickham’s chief object was unquestionably my sister’s fortune, but I suppose that the hope of revenging himself on me was a strong inducement. ”

“Oh, dear Lord—I never imagined. I am so sorry. Poor, dearest Georgiana…”

She glanced at Darcy—who stood near the window, his back to her, his head slightly lowered. She slowly moved near him and gently took his arm, making him turn to her.

“I am so sorry,” she whispered, and he smiled sadly then put his arms around her. She leant towards him, her hands circling his waist while her head rested against his chest.

“I am happy that Georgiana has a wise and affectionate sister, who will take care of her.”

“Thank you for trusting me, William. Now that I know the gravity of the history, I can understand your reluctance to speak of it.”

“There is still something more. I am afraid Wickham is responsible for spreading the gossip about us. He told James—and very likely, some other officers from London—and the words flew around until the damage was complete. I do not think he imagined the consequences of the gesture. He only searched for another way to harm my name. Unfortunately, this affected your life too.”

He watched her closely, but her expression remained surprisingly calm. “I suspected as much after I talked to your cousin at the ball and he told me about his close friendship with Mr Wickham. Both our lives have been affected, and neither of us is at fault.”

In front of the window lit by the moonlight, their faces slowly regained their usual warmth. A sense of relief and alleviation from sharing their secrets and pain enveloped them. He gently caressed her hair, then his fingers brushed her face, and her smile widened.

A brief knock and Molly’s impromptu entrance startled them, and they separated while the maid quickly closed the door behind her.

“We should establish some strict rules about the servant’s entrance,” he said.