Page 38 of Sketching Mr. Darcy
While she struggled to read something, she heard knocking at the door that separated their rooms. She put the book down and, without knowing why, rose to her feet.
“Good evening, Elizabeth. I just returned home and came to bring you the settlement so you could read it. It is quite windy outside. I believe we should postpone our walk. Instead, I could show you the jewels if this is a good time for you.”
“I thank you, but I have a terrible headache. I am not inclined to walk or to read—or to dine. I believe I shall retire very early tonight.”
“Is anything wrong? Are you unwell?” His voice turned serious and he moved slightly towards her. She took a step back.
“Nothing is wrong. There is no need for you to worry. I am just not hungry. I had enough tea and refreshments earlier with Mr Bingley’s sisters.” She became aware that her voice had turned cold, but she could not restrain herself. His gaze fixed upon her face.
“Elizabeth, you are obviously upset. One glance is enough to see it. I would guess their visit was not to your liking.”
“You should not hurry to judge what you see from a glance, sir. The visit was no different from other occasions in Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst’s company, except perhaps more revealing and less entertaining. Now if you do not mind, I would like to rest.”
She turned her back to him, and she thought he left; however, the fact pleased her far less than she expected. She startled when his fingers touched her shoulder.
“I know you well enough to see that you are upset and angry with me. We have promised honesty to each other, so I expect you to tell me what the problem is and allow me to make amends if necessary.”
“You surely do not know me well enough, Mr Darcy. That would not be possible since we barely spoke a dozen times before our wedding and not much more after we wed. I find it dangerous to speak of honesty at this time, and I am afraid I might not be able to choose my words properly if I speak further. So I would rather allow you to enjoy your dinner.”
“I have been honest with you since we first talked at Longbourn, so I am not afraid to speak of honesty. I insist on the same civility and inquire of what you accuse me.”
She breathed deeply and paused. Yes, he might have been honest since they discussed the possibility of marriage. She had no proofs to debate that. But before?
“Since you insist, I shall tell you, sir, but I cannot promise to be civil. Yes, I am upset and angry since I discovered the reason for my sister’s present unhappiness and the person responsible for convincing Mr Bingley to leave Hertfordshire, perhaps even against his heart.
Can you deny that this is the result of your involvement?
And can you blame me for being upset and angry at the man who cruelly threw my sister—one of the sweetest and most kind persons in the world—and perhaps his friend, too, into misery and despair?
While she spoke, her eyes watched his face closely, and to her shock, she noticed he seemed too little affected by her words, even slightly relieved.
With assumed tranquillity, he replied, “I have no intention of deceiving you or denying my part in separating Bingley from your sister, but I understand why you are upset and angry.”
“But you seem quite calm and untouched. It is clear you have neither remorse nor shame!” She moved along the room, unable to bear his gaze. The room seemed small and cramped, and she felt trapped.
“I did what I considered to be just at that moment. I have no reason to be ashamed of trying to act to the benefit of my friend. Everything I did was for his well-being.”
“And may I ask why my sister was the opposite of Mr Bingley’s well-being? What is it that you held against Jane? What faults so horrible did you find in her?”
“Elizabeth, we should sit and talk calmly. In truth, I find no fault in Miss Bennet. Even from the beginning of our acquaintance, I have admired her beauty and her manners. But there were other aspects that formed my opinion at that time and convinced me that it would be best for Bingley’s future—”
“And who are you to decide what is best for everybody? Why not leave Mr Bingley to judge what is best for his present and future. Who gives you the right to decide the fate of people around you in an imaginary act of friendship? What does that say about your character?”
“I find it unfair and impolite to speak of my character only because I tried to advise my friend in a way that I found best for him at the time. And why do you accuse me of deciding for people around me?” His temper betrayed him, and his voiced became hard.
“You know that very well to be true! You find great delight in imposing your will on your friends, your relatives, your wife, your sister, my sister, and your long-time acquaintance to whom you denied his rightful legacy and jeopardised his life, causing poverty and misery. You believe yourself the owner of everyone’s will and fate, sir, and I am sure you are not! ”
“You should not speak of things about which you do not know, Elizabeth, and not take the side of those you know only by their appearance!” said Darcy with heightened colour, his tone severe and cold. “And pray tell me why you mentioned my sister in your account?”
Elizabeth quickly collected herself and avoided his eyes. He seemed troubled, and she finally rejoiced in her success. At least she succeeded in affecting him, too.
“I spoke of Georgiana for no particular reason. You know quite well that even the colonel mentioned your tendency to control everyone!”
“Robert speaks much and not always wisely!”
“He might—as we all do from time to time—because we cannot be as perfect as you are, sir!” she answered sharply.
“And if you do not wish me to speak of things about which I do not know, perhaps you should have the politeness to inform me before I discover the facts from others. I did not expect you to honour me with your civility at the beginning of our acquaintance, but I foolishly hoped things would change once we married!”
“Surely, you do not accuse me of a lack of civility towards you! I have done everything in my power to see to your comfort, and I have offered everything in this marriage! I did answer every question you asked me, both before and after our wedding!”
“I shall not deny that you answered all the questions I asked you, and I have no complaint about your behaviour towards me! But that does not blind me to the ungenerous way in which you interfered in others’ lives or reduce the gravity of your plotting with your intimate friend Miss Bingley to separate Mr Bingley from Jane!
I would rather have you mistreat me than ruin the happiness of my beloved sister! ”
“I shall remember that, Mrs Darcy. Perhaps, I should expend less effort in pleasing you, after all, as it seems a useless endeavour!”
He exited the room, pulling the door after him so forcefully that Lucky ran and barked at it. Elizabeth called the dog back and sent him to the corner, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
She was barely able to breathe from anger, her fists clenched, biting her lips to stop her tears.
How dare he? Offending her when he was the one to blame?
Yelling at her? And not the smallest attempt to apologise, no sign of remorse for what he did?
He decided it was best for Mr Bingley to leave Jane, yet he insisted on marrying her!
What can be the explanation except that he was used to having his own way in everything?
And poor Georgiana, no wonder she was afraid to express her support of Mr Wickham, considering how angry he became at the mere mention of that gentleman’s situation.
What was she to do? How could she bear living with such a difficult man? She surely would not agree to abandon her friends, her opinions, and her will only to please him!
And what ungentlemanlike behaviour—to declare that he would not make efforts to please her! Was that not the duty of a husband? She had no reason to complain about him so far, but surely that was because the marriage was at his insistence, and he had his way!
Only a day before, he walked with her, and she had such a nice time. She started to enjoy his company and foolishly hoped she could have a good marriage after all! What a simpleton she had been! If not for Miss Bingley and Louisa Hurst’s visit…
She paced the room, her anger increasing. Did she need Caroline’s confession to remind her of her husband’s character? And she allowed her to see her anger when she heard of Mr Darcy’s involvement! How was it possible to be such a fool as to indulge Caroline Bingley?
Some long moments of struggle and poor attempts at self-control followed, and nervous tears rolled down her pale cheeks. With growing restlessness, she continued to pace the room, increasingly frustrated by her situation.
Poor, dear Jane…her sadness was mostly due to the intervention of Mr Darcy, who considered Jane a menace to Mr Bingley!
There was nothing more ridiculous! And for what?
He admitted that he had no reproach against Jane, so obviously, it was something related to their family.
Even if he might be right in that aspect, surely Mr Bingley’s family was far from perfection!
If she were to be mean, she could easily state that, while her father was a gentleman, Mr Bingley’s fortune came from trade!
And Mr Bingley’s sisters or brother-in-law could hardly be considered models of decorum!