Page 76 of Sketching Mr. Darcy
“We shall find a way. I will spend most of the evening after dinner reading, and then I may sleep on the floor, on a blanket, or something. It is important that your father is better than we feared. I hope to speak to him soon, and I am quite pleased to see you smiling.”
“William, I shall never forget how you put everything aside without hesitation just to travel with me to see my father. How can I possibly thank you or repay you enough?”
“Nothing is more important to me than you. I cannot claim that I have the same affection for your parents and sisters as you have for Georgiana, but I would do everything to help them because I know your love for them. I did only what I thought right. ”
They stared at each other for a moment, and she whispered another “Thank you.”
Mrs Bennet’s voice interrupted their brief interlude, inviting them to breakfast.
Elizabeth’s stomach was tightened in an icy grip.
The worry for her father, the relief that he was better than she feared, the joy of being reunited with her sisters, the sense of being home, the prospect of spending a few days and nights with her husband in her old room with only one bed—all those overwhelming feelings extinguished her hunger completely.
He had been so generous in taking her to Longbourn without delay and sharing her fear and distress. He was certainly still tired—he slept only a couple of hours last evening and not a single moment during the journey—and now he insisted he would sleep on the floor.
After their recent fight, the awkwardness of sharing a room and a bed with her husband was difficult to overcome.
He was still very much a stranger to her in that respect.
How would they change their clothes, how would they walk in front of each other in nightclothes, and how would they wash in the same room?
They could perhaps take turns—one would come and prepare for the night while the other was still downstairs?
She did not even consider that such closeness might force the consummation of their marriage. They still had some unresolved problems, and such an event in her house, filled with all the family, seemed impossible even to consider.
He admitted that he had barely slept a single night since he fell in love with her and it was a torture for him to keep his promise because of his “ardent love and passion.” She remembered his words, chills shivering her skin while her cheeks flushed again. What could he mean by “torture”?
Allowing him to sleep on the floor was out of the question. She thought she might sleep with Jane and Mary and let him sleep in her room—and suddenly that seemed the best option. At least it offered an alternative to their uncomfortable situation.
***
When John informed Elizabeth that her father was awake, she almost leapt from the chair. Her husband left his seat and followed her. They slowly entered the patient’s room. Elizabeth hurried to the edge of the bed while Darcy stood a little behind her.
“Papa, I am so happy to see you.” She placed a loving kiss on her father’s forehead. “I was so frightened when I heard. How do you feel? Are you in any pain?”
“Lizzy, what are you doing here, child? All the way from London in such weather? And Mr Darcy! I thought you had more wisdom than Lizzy, but it seems I was wrong. How could you let her convince you to travel such a distance in the middle of winter for a mere fall?”
“I am pleased to see you in such excellent spirits, sir.” Darcy smiled warmly.
“Papa, please be serious! I could not bear to be away from you when I knew you were hurt! Oh, you have a bruise on your temple, and you are feverish,” she exclaimed as she examined him more closely, her smiles mixed with worry.
“This is nonsense. I am perfectly well, as you see. And, sir—do you make it a habit to bring poor Dr. Taylor to Hertfordshire every time someone suffers a little accident? I wonder that you do not purchase a house for him in the neighbourhood—it would be cheaper. Please take a seat. That is the least I can offer you since you travelled such a long way. I hope someone in this house gave you something to eat.”
“We have been very well taken care of, sir.” Darcy sat near the bed.
“I am glad to hear it. Now help me with a glass of brandy, I beg you.”
“I am afraid I cannot do that without Dr. Taylor’s permission.” Darcy answered in earnest .
“Surely, you cannot be serious, sir! First, you take away my favourite daughter, and now you refuse to indulge me with a glass of my brandy in my own house? For this, I shall tell Mr Collins that you expressed a special desire to sit by him at the dinner table.”
“As you like. But I am afraid brandy is out of the question until the doctor approves it.”
Darcy was amused and content to see Mr Bennet being his usual self. A few minutes later, he left, allowing his wife to spend time alone with her father.
In the hall, he asked a servant about the location of Elizabeth’s room.
He opened the door and looked around before he stepped inside.
The chamber was pleasantly furnished but small—half that of Elizabeth’s bedroom in London.
Someone had thoughtfully placed a large jug of warm water by the wash bowl.
The bed was a generous size for a single person but not large enough to sleep in with Elizabeth.
He would have to either spend the night in a chair or sleep on the thickly carpeted floor near the fireplace.
He could bear it for two or three nights.
He moved around the bed, measuring it once more.
They would both fit well enough if they were close to each other.
If he were to put his arms around her and pull her against him, they would be both warm and comfortable.
No, that was not true: it would be torture.
How could he hold her in his arms with only thin nightclothes separating them, her hair falling on his chest, sensing her skin, her scent, her warmth… That was surely unthinkable!
But he would manage it somehow. If he could only rest for a few moments…He had not slept for so many nights…
Darcy removed his coat and boots then put another log on the fire and lay down on the bed. He closed his eyes, enjoying the surrounding so familiar to Elizabeth.
Just before sleep defeated him, he wondered about his sister and the urgent problem she wished to discuss with him. However, she seemed well enough at dinner, and he felt content to know Robert was there to protect her as he fell into a peaceful sleep.
***
As soon as Darcy left the room, Mr Bennet’s gaze rested upon Elizabeth’s smiling face, and he kissed her hand. “How are you, dearest? I was quite worried, you know.”
“I am so sorry that you troubled yourself! I am fine—in fact, I am more than fine. Things are much better than I could have hoped when I agreed to marry.”
“Truly? Are you not deceiving me, Lizzy? How are his relatives?”
“I was stunned by my warm reception from the entire family! Georgiana is already as dear to me as a sister, and Lady Matlock and her daughter-in-law are more than friendly. We even had a ball, and she introduced me into society and—”
“Pray have mercy on a sick man, child—no balls! Save that for your mother and sisters. Now tell me: How is your husband? He bore my teasing remarkably well, I grant him that.”
“He is a good man. He is kind and generous with me. He encourages me to have my own opinions, to make decisions for the household, and to challenge him if I do not agree with something. And his wealth is much larger than we knew—quite frightening, I might say. Papa, do you know that Jane and I met Lady Anne Darcy ten years ago in Brighton?”
Elizabeth’s discussion with her father lasted another hour with questions and answers, shared worries, promises, and hopes for the future.
The moment Dr. Taylor said the reason for the apoplexy might have been a major distress, Elizabeth felt she was the cause of it.
She imagined the torment through which her father must have gone after she left Longbourn.
Mr Bennet’s tendency for mockery and his apparent lack of interest were not sufficient shields to protect him from the torment of losing his daughter to a stranger, even one with “ten thousand a year.” Apparently, her two letters were not enough to put his mind at ease; therefore, she did everything to assure him that he had no cause for further concern.
She left her father’s room and hesitated about her direction. She needed to change the clothes in which she travelled all night long. She also wondered about her husband’s situation. Was he able to bear the level of noise in the house?
She opened the door to her old room with a heavy heart. The first twenty years of her life were there. But more than her past was her present: her husband, very informally dressed, sleeping soundly in her bed.
She watched his serene face: he looked much younger than usual.
He occupied most of the bed, but there was a little space beside him.
She lay down, careful not to move or touch him.
From a few inches away, she continued to look at him with great interest, her heart racing.
It was past sunset, and the room was rather dark. His features were lit only by the fire.
She gently caressed his hair then tried to rise in silence.
“Elizabeth?” she heard him whispering. He held her arm, and she blushed violently.
“Forgive me for waking you—I do not know what came over me. I just want to change my gown and… It will only take a moment, and I will go to change in Jane’s room…”
“I just wished to rest a little, and I guess I fell asleep. May I help you with anything?”
“No. Papa and Mama are resting and so is Dr. Taylor. We shall have dinner in more than two hours, so please rest a little more. You must be very tired. I shall spend some time with Jane and my aunt.” She hesitated a moment then moved closer to him.
“I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you are here with me.”