Page 83 of Sketching Mr. Darcy

“I do, and more so since I witnessed even today Wickham’s impertinence and lack of remorse.

Jane, you must be strong and not allow either Lydia or Kitty near him.

I am afraid he might wish to purposely compromise one of them, and they are silly enough to fall for such a trap.

I am thinking if it would be best to take them to London with me. ”

“Lizzy, that seems too much. Let us not consider Mr Wickham an ogre. Perhaps he is willing to change for the better. Lydia and Kitty will be fine. You should be concerned for your husband. We all put our hopes in his help, and he might be overwhelmed by our family. He seemed to search for shelter with Aunt and Uncle.”

“I know.” Elizabeth smiled. “He is a very good man, Jane.”

“He must be, Lizzy dear, considering the way he looks at you. Your feelings for him I cannot clearly read, but his affection for you is so obvious.”

“My feelings for him are growing stronger every day, Jane. But tell me: How have you been? I missed you, and I needed you so much these past two weeks.”

They were interrupted by the surprising appearance of Mrs Gardiner who had been worried by their long absence.

Another emotional half hour was spent by all three together.

Everything she told Jane, Elizabeth shared with Mrs Gardiner, but her aunt was very little surprised, declaring she had long suspected something similar.

When she told her aunt and sister about Wickham’s being responsible for spreading the gossip that led to her marriage, Elizabeth expected them to be appalled and horrified.

She was astounded to see her aunt perfectly calm, patting her hand.

“For that, dear Lizzy, you should thank him. Indeed, we must find a way of expressing our gratitude for his gesture. And if your mother knew this side of the truth, her love for Mr Wickham would be surpassed only by her admiration for Mr Darcy himself. Now let us return to the gentlemen. I can hardly wait for the summer to come. I rarely wanted anything as much as I want to spend three months at Pemberley and to visit the estate in a barouche with white horses.”

***

When Elizabeth, together with Jane and Mrs Gardiner, returned to the drawing room, it was about four in the afternoon. She felt her heart racing with joy when her eyes met her husband’s, and a pleasant warmth invaded her. She suddenly realised she had missed him!

Mrs Bennet was already in her room, as were the Gardiner children, Mary planned to study at the piano, and Lydia and Kitty had run upstairs. Dr. Taylor, the Gardiners, and Jane were still there when Elizabeth suddenly stepped to her husband and whispered.

“Would you like to go for a walk?”

He looked at her in surprise and nodded, so she ran to get her coat, bonnet and gloves.

It was freezing, and the snow was creaking under their feet as they stepped carefully.

They walked in silence, as close to each other as possible, alone in the wasted fields, the darkness conquering the daylight.

“I really enjoy this: the fresh air, the peace, your company alone…” he said.

“As do I. It is so cold yet so beautiful!

“This is the perfect time for a sleigh ride. The cold is easier to bear under blankets. ”

She blushed, imagining the sensation of them cuddled together under the blankets, riding along white paths lit by the stars and bright moon, and wondered whether they could find a sleigh in the neighbourhood.

“We have a sleigh in London and one at Pemberley. I cannot believe it did not cross my mind until now. Riding in a sleigh is the best opportunity for one to court a lady.”

“And may I ask how you know that, sir, since you claim no experience in matters of courtship?”

“I am inexperienced, not a fool, madam. Any man with some wit knows that.”

She laughed. “I cannot believe it has been almost six weeks since my accident and less than two weeks since we married. It seems a lifetime ago.”

“True. I remember the day we left for London. You looked sad and frightened.”

“I was. I knew not what to expect from you. You were almost a stranger to me.”

She stopped and turned to him.

“William, earlier today I realised that something has changed for me— I have changed—in these ten days. I love my family dearly, but I look forward to returning home . Everything is the same here at Longbourn, yet it feels so different to me! And…it seems silly, but I missed you while I was away today. How strange is that?”

He slowly leant down to her, and his eyes gazed intently into hers, their faces inches apart.

“It is not strange. I miss you all the time. Your words make me very happy.”

“Then we are both silly.” She attempted to mock him, hoping to conceal the depth of her emotion.

“Knowing that everything is well here, I worry about Georgiana. I left her alone, to bear a most difficult situation and to struggle with sorrow. If Papa is improving tomorrow and feels well enough, we should return to London the next day.”

“I am worried about Georgiana too, but I trust Robert and Mrs Annesley to keep her good company. I am grateful for your genuine care, though; I am certain she misses you.”

“You should take both of us on a sleigh ride when we get home,” she said and he earnestly promised to do so. They took the path through the groves where Elizabeth used to walk.

“Elizabeth, do you remember when we were at Netherfield? Every evening I prayed that dinner would last longer so I could be in your company more. My heart had long been overwhelmed by your charms, and my body painfully desired your closeness. Only my mind opposed the idea and fought against my chance for happiness. It was the most painful struggle. ”

“A struggle you won, it seems, as you did little when we were in company at Netherfield. I wonder what would have happened had my accident not occurred.”

“I wonder too. And I worry every day. But I wish this to change when we return home, Elizabeth. I do not want to pressure you to consummate our marriage, but I want to share the evenings, the rooms, the beds… I want things to be in London as they were last night.”

She held his gaze, and her knees weakened as she tried to find her voice.

“I want things to be more than they were last night, William. I want to share everything as soon as we return home. It is not that I accept your wishes, but that I am considering my own,” she whispered.

“My mind has long admired your qualities, and my body began to enjoy your presence some time ago. Now my heart is slowly opening to you.”

Her voice trembled and her eyes burned with tears. She knew she should be embarrassed by her unrestrained words, but her soul was so full of joy that there was no room left for other feelings.

The expression of heartfelt delight brightened his face. He seemed unable to speak, just as she was, and his gaze trapped hers with no desire to release it.

With no words to disturb their understanding, she took his arm, and his hands entwined with hers, then they continued their solitary walk. Half an hour passed before they finally returned home, their feet, hands, hair and clothes completely frozen, and their eyes sparkling from the warmth inside.

***

“Lizzy dear, where have you been? Keeping Mr Darcy outside in such weather? Indeed child, I can hardly believe you are my daughter with such savage inclinations,” Mrs Bennet cried then paled instantly. “Oh, I mean it in the best, most charming way, Mr Darcy!”

“I am sure of that, Mrs Bennet. I find Elizabeth’s liveliness truly enchanting, and her inclinations for outdoor activities are perfect for the mistress of Pemberley.”

“Oh, I knew that. I already told as much to my sister and to Lady Lucas. Lizzy, you must change to your best gown. I invited the Lucases and the Philipses to dine with us tonight.”

Elizabeth stared at her mother then glanced at her uncle and aunt in despair.

“But we are not in a situation suitable for entertaining guests. Papa is still unwell, and he needs rest. And we are still tired after the long ride from London. Can we not cancel it?”

“Lizzy, what are you talking about? How can I lose the opportunity to host a large dinner in the presence of Mr Darcy? If we are to spend the summer at Pemberley—Lord help us!—it is likely that such opportunities will not arise again anytime soon!”

Elizabeth fought against her distress, and her head started to ache. Nothing could be worse than a dinner with such a large, noisy gathering. She sought help from her aunt and uncle but with no success. Glancing briefly at her husband, she abandoned the fight .

“Be it as you wish, Mama, since I cannot convince you otherwise. I am going to rest and change for dinner. I am cold and my feet are frozen.”

Elizabeth’s excellent spirits were ruined. She visited her father, who was in the company of Dr. Taylor, and was content to see him reasonably well, so she withdrew to her room.

She put two logs on the fire, as she felt cold, and then removed her shoes.

She took off her stockings and sat on the rug by the fire, rubbing her bare feet with a thick towel while she held her knees to her chest. She did not hear the door open and startled when she saw Darcy entering.

Their eyes met as he removed his coat and his boots then sat beside her.

“I apologise for my mother. She wishes to brag about you to our Meryton neighbours. I am so ashamed. It will be a very hard evening.”

He embraced her and kissed the top of her head. “I know…Sir William and Mr Collins are truly the most frightening tandem.”

“True—and Lady Lucas and my aunt Philips—but I promise to protect you.”

“Will you, Mrs Darcy? I must thank you for that.”