Page 30 of Sketching Mr. Darcy

Unable to determine the proper way to behave around her, Darcy adopted the same strategy as he had when she stayed at Netherfield in the autumn: he put a little distance between them.

Accordingly, he addressed her with more propriety and less warmth than the previous night, and he pretended to be very busy as a reason not to invite her to join him in the library. He felt it was safer that way.

He must find a way to keep his weaknesses under good regulation and to respect his promise.

He would not impose on her until he was certain that she welcomed his attentions.

He could think of nothing more horrible than her surrendering to him only because it was her duty to do so.

He might be able to make her body enjoy his attentions, but that was not enough.

Lucky and Titan barked at the same time when Stevens entered the library, apologising repeatedly, and handed Darcy a letter.

Darcy opened it and easily recognised Annabelle Stafford’s handwriting.

He put it on his desk then took it up again and glanced at it.

She had obviously discovered the news of his marriage, and her anger was clearly expressed.

He threw the letter in the fire, wondering when he would receive a similar letter from Lady Catherine so the party would be complete.

Fortunately, he knew that Caroline Bingley would never dare to write him directly, so he had one less thing to worry about.

***

On the way to her room, a sudden thought changed Elizabeth’s mind, and she turned towards the gallery.

For some time she admired the portrait of Darcy then the one of Lady Anne and Georgiana.

She also dedicated many moments to looking at a painting of the entire family, noting her husband’s resemblance to his parents.

She was determined to understand his true character, but the task was proving difficult.

She remembered his asking her whether she wished to lock the doors between their rooms. At that time, she answered without much thought.

She truly had no reason to distrust him, and he was obviously content with her reaction.

Besides, of what use would it be to lock the doors.

He promised that he would not impose on her.

If he wished it, she would be forced to accept his will anyway, doors locked or not.

Elizabeth was surprised that she enjoyed their time together before falling asleep the previous night.

She remembered that he carried her to the bed and helped her to remove her night robe, and she could not fight her embarrassment and the revelation that his closeness was not at all unpleasant.

If she only knew what he was thinking and why his smiles appeared and vanished so easily.

She knew she needed to be patient. It was only the second day of their marriage. She would dearly love to speak to Jane about all this, but Jane was far away—as was her previous life.

Leaving the gallery, Elizabeth met Mrs Thomason in the hallway.

“Mrs Darcy, is anything wrong? May I help you in any way, ma’am?” she said worriedly .

“Everything is fine, Mrs Thomason. However, tomorrow I would like to speak to you about the household and to better know the staff. I barely met them for a few moments.”

The housekeeper’s disconcerted expression did not escape Elizabeth, but the answer came with perfect politeness. “To know the staff better? Certainly, Mrs Darcy, as you please. May I dare ask…is there anything special that you require from them? Shall I prepare them…?”

“No, nothing special. I simply want to speak to them a little and, as I said, to find out more about running this house. You seem to do an excellent job.”

“Speak to them all? There are twenty-two and… Of course, as you wish, Mrs Darcy.”

“Tomorrow we might begin by talking, just the two of us, and in the next days we shall find a way for me to speak to each of them without detaining them from their jobs.”

“Very well, ma’am. I shall wait for you to ring for me anytime you please, Mrs Darcy.” The housekeeper still seemed troubled. Elizabeth attempted to re-assure her once more that there was no reason for concern, but Mrs Thomason excused herself and left.

Elizabeth was neither oblivious nor insensitive towards Mrs Thomason’s feelings. The sudden appearance of a new mistress was surely an event that brought much distress and worry below stairs. In truth, becoming the mistress of Darcy’s household so suddenly brought much distress to herself too.

Elizabeth finally returned to her room and put the book on the bed. Then she took her diary and wrote hurriedly, wishing to make as vivid as possible the first impressions of her new family—especially of the man with whom she would spend the rest of her life.

“Since yesterday, Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy has been my husband, and although I still cannot believe that this marriage is real—it seems so far from what I had dreamt of—my husband was nothing but kind and considerate during the first day and night of our marriage. And yet I know little more of him than I did a week ago except that he can smile when he wishes to…and that he is the son of the most remarkable lady I have ever known…and that Lucky seems more attached to him every day.”

She closed the diary then glared outside.

If she were at Longbourn—or even in London with her own relatives—she would run out to feel the snowflakes on her face.

Surely, Lydia and Kitty—and perhaps even Jane, together with their young cousins—were doing so.

They would likely prepare for the ball on the last day of the year.

The Meryton assembly would be fully crowded.

Most of Meryton loved the balls, especially the last one of the year, except her father—whose tastes seemed strangely similar to Mr Darcy’s.

She wondered for a moment whether her husband or Miss Darcy would be interested in a walk, but she shortly abandoned the idea. She felt the silence fall heavier with each passing moment. Only the burning fire was lively.

She startled when she heard her husband’s voice. He was standing near the door as Lucky sneaked between his legs and hurried to her.

“Forgive me for the intrusion. I wanted to see whether you approve dinner in an hour.”

“No intrusion at all—please come in. I was just looking outside. It is snowing so beautifully,” she said, slightly embarrassed. “Yes, one hour would be perfect.”

Darcy stepped closer and spoke with warmth and concern. “Are you well? You seem troubled. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“It is nothing. I was thinking of my family. Such days are always lively at Longbourn, and snow is one of our favourite things. We used to play outside in a quite unladylike manner.”

He smiled and, to her utter surprise, took her hands in his. Her fingers remained still, and she suddenly felt very warm as he spoke in a low voice .

“I imagine you miss your family. I am afraid our company is far from entertaining.”

“I do miss my family, but it is not the fault of your company. It is just that everything has changed so quickly, but I am sure tomorrow will be much better.”

“I spoke with Georgiana. She said she would like to spend more time with you and to play together at the piano, but she did not dare to trouble you.”

“Truly? I would love to practice with her too. Perhaps we can do so tomorrow. I am a little ashamed of my lack of proficiency. Fortunately, she seems kind enough not to laugh at me.”

“No one could find any reason to laugh at you. I look forward to the pleasure of hearing both of you play if you would indulge me.”

Her fingers moved slightly, and his touch tightened gently. “I should prepare for dinner,” she said, and he released her hands, his fingers lingering for an instant.

“I shall fetch you in an hour.” Elizabeth’s eyes remained fixed upon the doors then glanced at her hands as though she could see the marks of his touch. She felt cold shivers along her arms as she remembered the warmth and softness of his fingers.

Elizabeth changed her gown in a hurry and found herself anxiously awaiting his return. He was right: his company was less than entertaining, but it was not at all unpleasant.

Darcy returned, and Elizabeth noticed that his neck cloth, of a dark green colour, suited him nicely. She blushed and averted her eyes. He offered his arm, and she took it without hesitation, then he covered her hand with his palm. She smiled, but he took no notice.

***

Dinner was as pleasant as it was the previous evening and even more so, as all three of them grew more at ease with every passing moment .

“Oh, I will surely miss this beefsteak when I leave,” Mrs Annesley declared. “I should ask the cook to give me the recipe.”

“It is my favourite too,” Darcy said. “It is delicious, although our cook at Pemberley used to make it somewhat differently. I truly miss the former taste of dishes at Pemberley.”

“As do I,” Miss Darcy agreed. “I vividly remember an apple pie that was always my favourite. I was just thinking that I have not eaten that particular pie in many years.”

“I remember it too,” Darcy added as he gently caressed his sister’s hand. “We used to enjoy it quite often when my mother was still with us. It was the favourite of us all. I believe it is why we think it tasted so differently than other apple pies.”

“Yes, I am sure you are right,” Miss Darcy whispered.

“Perhaps I just missed the taste of childhood.” She averted her eyes and forced a smile while she turned to Elizabeth and apologised for her improper reaction during dinner.

Before Elizabeth found the words to reply, Darcy continued warmly, glancing at them both.

“My dear, we are all family here and must not apologise for what we feel, nor must we hide our emotions. Besides, I am sure Elizabeth misses the dishes from Longbourn too.”