Page 9

Crown Gravehart

W atching as Emily walked around the room wearing my t-shirt and briefs, I drank her in. Every subtle movement, from the flex of her fingers to the exhale of her chest, I mesmerized as if I'd be quizzed on it later.

"Crown—"

Her words halted when she spun around and caught me staring. Like a predator watching its prey, I studied the sway of her hips, drunk off how they moved as she sauntered in my direction.

"Why do you always watch me with so much intensity?" she quizzed, straddling my lap. She took my face in her hands, her thumbs caressing my cheeks. I smirked 'cause if only she knew just how special she was.

"I'm just looking at you. You put all the extra shit on it. I be chilling."

"Yeah, okay. Lie to me again, and we gon' fight."

"Man move 'cause yo' punk ass don't want it with me."

Sliding off her hip, my right hand clenched her throat. Her minty breath feathered across my lips before I brought mine to hers. Squeezing, Emily sucked on my tongue. Desire deepened our kiss until Emily pulled away, giggling.

"Don't try kissing your way out of this." Using her thumb, she swiped the corners of my mouth. "Are you scared of losing me? You watch me with anticipation like I'm going to run away or something."

That's how I knew Emily didn't understand the hold she had on a nigga.

Her running away wasn't a thought for her, but it ran rampant in my mental space.

Emily's the good girl who did all the right things in her life despite growing up in the hood.

All the bullshit her friends were on, she had no interest in.

Not wanting to be seen or getting caught up were rare qualities in a pretty bitch.

Most of 'em loved getting active or flaunting their bodies to catch the eye of a nigga getting money.

I didn't put it all on the women tho, it took two, and niggas were equally to blame.

Honor taught me the value of making your money work for you instead of blowing it fast. We gon' be rich for generations to come, not a fuckin' moment, was what he constantly preached.

It wasn't until I met Emily that I realized I wanted that with her.

"Crown," she gritted, making me chuckle.

"Yo, how many times I gotta tell you to stop doing that shit. You're not tough, Ems."

"If only you knew." She winked.

"You got secrets?" I wanted to believe Emily was truthful. Finding out differently might fuck me up in ways I didn't think I was strong enough to handle.

"We all do."

"Nah. I'm an open book when it comes to those I care for."

"Is that you admitting you care about me?"

"I saved your life, didn't I?" Leaning forward, I pecked her lips and then gave her bottom one a little extra attention. I sucked and bit until her gloss was gone.

"Crown, stop." She giggled, moving out of my reach. She looked crazy as hell, lowkey hitting the Ciara matrix move while on my lap.

"You wild." I chuckled, bringing her back to me. I gripped her waist and took her in like a deep inhale.

"See, you're doing it again. What are you trying to figure out when it comes to me?"

"Everything. I wanna know the smallest detail about you."

"But why?"

I shrugged, not really understanding why I felt so drawn and borderline obsessed with Emily.

Since the day of the shooting, I've been on her ass, and that shit happened over a year ago.

I was caught up, but it wasn't love. Anytime I tried to figure out this unwavering connection to this girl, all I heard were the words my mom used to say.

Every encounter carries a purpose. Some test you, some teach you, and some bring you from the dark to meet your guiding light.

Being drawn to Emily was for a purpose bigger than what I could see in this moment.

"Cortez, are you listening to me?" The smack of River's lips brought my eyes to her, jerking my attention from the past to the present.

"My fault, Four. What you say?"

"Are you okay?"

Closing her closet behind her, she walked over to the bed wearing nothing but a nigga's t-shirt and them sexy-ass round glasses.

Gorgeous.

River hated how I watched her, especially in the morning, but a nigga couldn't help it.

Before starting my day, I waited for her to finish her morning routine just so I could pull her pretty ass back to bed and stare into her face.

With my eyes closed, I could sketch her from memory.

Four's beauty wasn't the type to fade but linger.

It burned into the backs of my eyelids for me to relive whenever my eyes closed.

"Cortez, are you okay?" Worry creased Four's brows and brought her frames to the bridge of her nose. With my finger, I pushed them up, making her pretty ass blush.

"I'm good. Just in my head 'bout some shit."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"The question is, do you wanna talk about it?"

"Meaning?" She frowned, deepening the arch in her brows.

"You're not the easiest to talk to about feelings and shit. You hate?—"

"I don't hate it. I just don't see the point in doing so."

"Ight." I shrugged, moving off the bed.

"You're mad?" she asked, following me into the bathroom.

"Could never be mad at you, Four."

"Mhm," she huffed.

I chuckled, flushed the toilet, then washed my hands and scooped her ass up. Giggling, she wrapped her arms around my neck as I placed her on the sink counter.

"I'm good forreal."

"Are you?" Her eyes shifted, searching for something deeper in mine.

"Yeah. When the time's right, we'll chop it up. For now, I'm cool."

"Okay," she smacked.

" Okay, " mimicking her, I mushed her little ass, knocking her glasses from her face. Before she grabbed them, I took 'em, making her fuss.

"Crown, not today! You know good and well, I can't see without my glasses since contacts are not an option for me anymore."

"Hol' up." Giving her the once-over, I frowned. "You ugly as fuck without your glasses, River."

"What?" She bucked forward.

I took a step back, laughing. Four used to hate wearing her glasses, complaining whenever I tossed out her contacts. What she saw as a flaw was perfection for me. River wearing contacts was cool. She was cute, but Four with them muthafuckin' glasses... fucking gorgeous.

"Cortez!" she smacked, slapping my arm. "Did you really take my glasses just to call me ugly and then stare at me?"

"You tripping 'bout a joke?"

"No, but you called me River so—" her bottom lip folded toward her chin, giving her a sexy ass pout.

"I called you River 'cause that's who you are when you start acting out and believing bullshit from hoes who can't hold a candle to your flame. You're River when you don't have these muthafuckin' glasses on, too."

"Give them back then."

"Come here."

Four closed the space between us and stood on her toes. Stealing a quick kiss, I slipped her frames onto her face.

"Gorgeous." I smirked.

"I don't see how I'm gorgeous with my glasses but ugly without them, but whatever. You wanna go get something to eat."

She walked out of the bathroom, and I was right behind her, reaching for her waist and leaning forward until we stumbled onto the bed.

"Where you thought yo' ass was going, Four?"

"Oh, I'm Four again," she snipped. Catching on to her attitude, I shook my head.

"Don't shake your big ass head after you hurt my feelings."

"How did I hurt your feelings, Four?"

"That right there," she smacked. Her hands pressed against my chest, and even though she wasn't using enough force to move me, I rolled off her and sat up.

"I'm not doing this with you. I already called out of work, so I'm free to do whatever with you today since we didn't get to celebrate yesterday," she said, standing up as if her ass didn't just catch an attitude over nothing.

"Nah, don't switch up on me like I fucked up."

Throwing her hands in the air, she came between my legs, yelling, "You did!"

"Drop that tone until the muthafucka is in hell, River," I warned, keeping my own voice steady. The yelling and arguing bullshit I wasn't beat for. Disagreeing was cool but wasn't shit that deep for either of us to get rowdy.

"Why? Because you don't like what I have to say?" she challenged.

Chuckling more to myself than about the situation, I gripped her waist, letting my fingers sink into her soft ass skin.

"Ouch, Cortez," she whimpered, placing her hands on top of mine.

"I'm never gon' stop you from speaking your mind. Your word is law for me, but I'ma man, and you gon' speak to me with the same respect I give you. Feel me?"

Four nodded her head, causing her curls to fall in her face. I sucked my teeth hard as hell 'cause of how cute that was.

"Use that voice for me, Four. Let your nigga know you're picking up what I'm putting down."

"I get it, okay. I didn't mean to raise my voice. You just get me so frustrated sometimes."

Guiding her onto my left leg, I scooped her legs, draping them over my right leg.

"What a nigga do besides give you the world?"

"I don't like it when you call me River." She sulked like the big-ass baby I'd turned her into.

"That's your name, tho'." I chuckled lightly.

"Not to you!" she smacked, then giggled when she caught that pipe down look that I flashed her way. "You've been calling me Four since you saw me with my glasses. The only time you address me as River is when I fucked up or pissed you off."

Letting her words sink in, I racked my brain to figure out how to tell Four that the name switch had more to do with her as a person than with my own emotions.

"Ight, look." I waited to make sure I had her attention 'cause once I said this shit, I wasn't repeating myself.

"When I call you Four, it's because I know the person who's gon' answer. I know what her laugh sounds like from a few feet away. I can finish her sentence and can guarantee the pussy gon' get wet when she sees me."

"Cortez!"

"I'm lying?"

"Yes!"

"Let me see then."

Slipping my hand between her thighs, I smirked. A nigga didn't even have to really get between her pussy lips to feel her wetness.

"Whatever." She blushed, bringing my hand back to her lap.

"It might seem like I call you River when I'm pissed, but that's not it.

River is the woman I don't know and can't fuckin' recognize.

River is slightly insecure, majorly guarded, and second-guesses everything I say to her.

The woman who got that DJ killed is River.

The woman questioning my actions behind the word of a fuck is River.

I don't know that woman, and it's not 'cause I don't like her or want to know her.

It's because you keep River away from me while getting me addicted on Four . "

"Cortez."

Simpering, her hands caressed my shoulders.

Her right went toward my braids that her ass loved to tug whenever I was tongue deep in that pussy.

The left grazed over my raised scars where I'd gotten shot way back when.

Her fingers swept from left to right, then right to left.

Her lips parted, then clamped together as her brows dipped and eyes squinted.

Anytime her fingers found my scars, her face contorted in the same way.

The question of what happened lingered at the tip of her tongue, but her voice never forced it out.

I was thankful every time for her sudden silence.

I hadn't spoken on what happened that day since I realized Emily was playing my ass the whole time.

What fucked me up was even after I killed her, I still couldn't see beyond the love I had for her.

I chalked her cheating up to being a one-time thing.

Shit was rocky with us. She needed time I couldn't afford to give, forcing her to find a nigga who could.

That was easier for me to accept versus the truth.

Honor told me two weeks after I killed Ems that the nigga I caught her fucking was a nigga she knew for years.

By the time Honor explained the whole thing was a setup, a nigga had checked out.

The next couple of years were dark for me.

I pushed all of it to the furthest parts of my fucking brain, burying it deep and wishing I could set fire to it.

"What happened?" she murmured.

My body went stiff as fuck.

"Crown." Four took my face into her hands, tilting my head back until we were eye to eye. "I do keep River away from you. I don't want you to know that side of me because she's broken, and I'm scared those wounds will never heal."

"Let me heal 'em for you." Just like that, a nigga found his voice and was able to breathe again.

"It's not for you to heal, and I would never ask you to."

"Why not?"

"You have your own healing to do."

Leaning down, Four brought her lips to my scars. I tensed unwillingly. The pain of that day remained like phantom kicks. Four kissed over my scars before bringing her eyes back to me.

"We're Crown and Four. I don't think either of us is ready to be Cortez and River."

Four stood from my lap, and as badly as I wanted to pull her ass back down, I let her go, knowing what she said was true.