Page 31

River Ashland

" C hosyn is going to kill me." I laughed as Crown pulled into her driveway.

"Nah, she's straight. I handled it while you were in the shower."

Looking over at Crown, I almost asked how did I get so lucky .

I didn't realize how much I missed him until he was right next to me.

What happened this morning was exactly what I needed, all the confusing emotions included.

A part of me still felt what happened was my karma, but I guess I needed that to see my relationship through my own eyes and not the grief-stricken lenses I've been wearing for so long.

"Why are you looking at a nigga like that?" he asked, throwing the car in park.

"Like what?" Was it that easy for him to see the love I had for him pouring out of me.

"With one of your eyes halfway closed and the other one jumping. You good?"

"Huh?"

"Four, what don't you understand? Your shit's jumping like it just caught the holy ghost."

I stared at him for a second to see if he was joking. I didn't feel my eye jumping, but given how badly those contacts irritated my eyes, it might've been possible. I pulled the visor down to check and this nigga started busting out laughing.

"Stupid ass," I smacked, throwing my middle finger up.

"Chill. You looked like you were falling in love with a nigga. I had to make sure my fingers didn't get that win."

"Why are you never serious?"

"Four I'm dead ass. When you fall in love with me it won't be because I finger fucked your pussy 'til you cried. You gon' fall in love with me 'cause I dicked you down so good, I signed my name on the lining of your birth canal."

"Bye, Crown," I scoffed, biting back my laugh.

"Think a nigga's joking if you want. Watch when that pretty pussy heals. I'm shooting it up."

"Anyway," I smacked, needing to get off the subject of kids. "I have your gift."

"Four. It's been almost two months since our anniversary. You late as hell."

"Boy, do you want it or no?"

"Hell fucking yeah."

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed my purse from the back seat. I grabbed the camera from inside, then handed it to him.

"It's a Leica M6. Honestly, I didn't think about getting you a gift at first. Our relationship was new, and I didn't know what we were celebrating and what we weren't. I don't know.

I guess I didn't think it was special. I've never really done the anniversary thing before.

Anyway..." Looking away from Crown for a second to gather my emotions, I felt his hand immediately grab my chin.

"Don't shy away from me, especially when you're speaking from the heart.

I'm your safe place, remember? Let me see all there is to see when it comes to you, and I promise I'll accept all versions of you.

I'll be understanding of everything without judgment.

Show me River and I'm gon' love her just as much, if not more than I love Four. "

"Promise?" I sniffled, unable to hold back anymore.

"I put it on my momma. That's how deep this promise runs for me."

"Seeing what you did at my apartment, capturing moments of us... of me, helped me come up with the idea for your gift. This camera is rare, which is why it took so long for you to get it. The rarity of this camera is fitting because I feel like it's an embodiment of your own rarity."

Taking his face into my hands, I brought him closer to me, boldly gazing into his eyes.

"Crown, the man you are when it comes to me is rare.

Almost too rare to be real. The way you handle me without me having to teach you is fucking dream like.

I can't explain it, but somehow, you've learned me better than I've learned myself.

Then you look at me in a way that makes me feel invincible.

Just like how you are now. Your eyes house a part of my soul that I can't remember giving away.

With us, it's unexpected and unpredictable.

No flash, no warning, just a soft click between us that's permanent, kind of like the pictures I know you'll capture with this camera.

I won't lie and say I made it easy for us to get here, but you saw through my armor and the nonchalant act.

I put up a fight because I felt so exposed with you.

I wasn't ready for that, but I am now because the way you see me is how I want to be captured forever.

I want our moments to be framed forever because I. .. Crown, I want us forever."

"What you trying to say, Four?" Breathing in as deeply as I could, I exhaled twice slowly, then smiled.

"Grab your camera. You're gonna want to capture this."

I waited a few for Crown to figure out how it worked. Once he got it, he held it up, then adjusted my face, angling it a little more toward the light.

"Gorgeous." He smirked.

I blushed and then bit into my bottom lip. Tilting my head just enough for a few of my curls to fall in my face, how he liked, I brought my head up, looked straight into the camera, and said, "I love you."

The camera shutter went off, and then Crown dropped the camera in his lap and gripped my jaw. "I fucking love you, Four."

My skin began to heat because blushing just wasn't enough.

"Mhmm," I moaned against his lips once he slipped his tongue inside my mouth.

Our kiss was anything but gentle. It was intoxicated with a love only the two of us understood. Crown pulled away, then placed his forehead against mine. His thumb swiped across my lips as I waited for him to say something sweet.

"Four," he muttered.

"Yes."

"I've waited six months to hear you say that. The night I asked you to be my girl, I was in love with you then. I wanted to tell you but knew your ass would probably run on some scared shit."

"And would." I giggled.

"When I said it on our anniversary, I wasn't looking for you to say it back.

I was cool waiting years for you to tell me if that's what it took.

Hearing you say it now and letting me capture the moment was beautiful as fuck.

But you know we gotta run this back, right?

I hope you remember that speech 'bout a nigga being rare and shit.

It was heartfelt as fuck. I think I let a few tears slip.

Make sure when we do it again, you get all choked up and emotional.

That way, I can play off your emotions and drop a few more tears. "

"Nigga, what?" Rearing my head back, I looked at Crown through squinted lids. "Why would I say all of that again?"

"Your glasses, Four. You don't have 'em cause you lost 'em in the crash. I've always pictured this moment with your hair curly and your blind ass staring at me through them sexy ass bifocals."

I didn't even have to question if Crown was being serious. The way that nigga was smirking and licking lips told me he was. I shook my head and hopped out the car. Moving too fast, my ankle buckled, and my ass went falling. Crown jumped out and rounded the car fast as fuck.

"That's what your blind ass gets for being a hater."

"Crown, get off me," I fussed, pushing away from him after he helped me up.

"Nah, don't be mad at me. You were trying to be slick by having Ma order your contacts."

"You didn't!" I snapped.

A few days after I left the hospital, I had my mom order my contacts. I was funny about ordering frames online. I wanted to see how they looked on me before I purchased them. Since I wasn't in the mood to go through that hassle, I figured contacts were the way to go, but they never came.

"I did." He shrugged, going to the trunk of his car.

"How did you even know?"

"I got an alert to my phone."

"About my contacts order?" I stupidly asked.

"Yeah, Four. And before you ask how, know I have friends in different places. Any time your ass searches the word contacts my phone goes off.

"Crown," I grunted, unable to say much else because honestly, I wasn't surprised.

"If you want to wear contacts break up with me, 'cause that shit's not happening while we're together."

"As if you'll let me break up with you," I smacked, walking toward the trunk because this man was taking forever to grab whatever he was looking for.

"I'm glad you've been listening. You're Mrs. Gravehart even when you're not. Now, which one do you want?"

This nigga had the nerve to point toward a box of glasses that all resembled the pair I lost in the crash and a fucking cane.

"Come on, Four. Chosyn's waiting on us."

"Nigga, did you get me a fucking cane?" I blurted instead of choosing.

"I know how hardheaded your ass can be. I'll give you the glasses, but because you're upset about the contacts, you won't take 'em. Then I'ma to hoover over you to stop you from falling over shit you can't see."

"Crown, I'm not blind. I don't need that cane."

"You fell getting out of the car, right?"

"That's different!"

"It's not, but wassup? You want the cane or glasses?"

Snatching the glasses, I put them on and almost told this nigga thank you.

"You don't gotta hide that smile, I know your ass is hype as fuck to see again."

"Fuck you, Crown!" I snickered.

"A whole new world!" he sang loudly. "A new fantastic view!"

Shaking my head, I laughed hard as hell. This nigga was never going to not be serious. Walking behind me, Crown wrapped his arms around my waist and then nuzzled his face into the curve of my neck as I knocked on the door.

"I'm so in love with your blind ass," he murmured.

"You wanna do the redo when we leave?" I asked since I now had my glasses.

"Nah, tomorrow morning. I wanna see the sun shining on your face, smell your morning breath, and wipe the drool from the corner of your mouth."

"Why are you so weird?"

"Not weird. I just in love with the rawest version of you."

Crown left me speechless, but my heart knew exactly what it needed... what we needed. I pulled him into me by his braids, stood on my toes, and kissed him, deep and desperately, stitching our souls together with each passing breath.

"Four, unless you wanna catch these bullets with that nigga, I suggest you move out the way." Hearing the grit in Wolfe's voice, we ended the kiss and looked toward the door.

"Nigga, who you shooting with my niece strapped to your fucking chest?" Crown chuckled.

"Nigga, she got a couple of bullets for your ass too, since you're out here calling her momma the fake Mrs. Gravehart."

Shit!