Page 12

Crown Gravehart

A Couple of Weeks Later...

" I love you, Crown."

Hearing what Emily said had me stuck for a minute. Her saying it was nothing I didn't already know, but her saying the shit in the midst of me getting in her ass was her way of sweet talking herself out of the conversation she brought up.

"You're not going to say it back because you're mad?" she snipped, flicking her finger against my chest.

Grabbing her wrist, I watched my thumb overlap the rest of my fingers with the thought of how easy it would be to snap her wrist.

"You're hurting me," she whined, but knew better than to move.

"Keep your fuckin' hands to yo' self, Em. I don't play that handsy shit in any capacity."

"Okay, now let me go."

I jerked her crybaby ass back, then leaned against the counter. Something I wasn't used to masked her normally loving gaze. Tossing my chin in her direction, I asked, "Wassup with you?"

"Huh?"

"I'm not tryin' to argue, Em, on god I'm not, but if you keep acting dumb, I'ma show yo' ass what stupid really looks like."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me why I pull up to this bitch, and my muthafuckin' key doesn't work."

"I changed the locks. It's not a big deal." She shrugged, really thinking that nonchalant shit was gon' fly with me.

In the years we've been dating, Em should've known me better. I paid attention to detail, and when it came to the woman who I considered mine, I put a microscope to her ass to make sure I didn't miss a beat. Em and I had been so locked in that the change in our relationship had thrown me off.

"You changed the locks to an apartment yo' ass not even 'posed to be at. Since when you start spending nights over here?"

I knew the exact date she started talking about needing space and how I was suffocating her. Still, I asked to see if she was gon' continue to bullshit me.

"Why does it matter? I love you, Crown. Since when is that not enough? Love is all we need to make it in this world, remember that? So why are you now questioning me about petty shit?"

"Yeah, ight Em," I scoffed. "You got it."

"Whatever. I'm not about to feed into your insecurities. You sound just like your fucking ? —"

Before the name slipped from them pouty ass lips I loved, I slammed my palm into her throat, not giving a fuck about damaging her esophagus.

I choked her simple ass until her nails clawed my wrist, her eyes bulged, and her breath no longer breezed against my hand.

I leaned in, bringing my lips to her ear to make sure what I said didn't go unheard or misunderstood.

"I'm not a violent nigga when it comes to the people I love. Those I fucking hate tho'... they get the worst side of me. Bringing up shit I told you 'bout my parents will have you ranked number one on that hate list. Keep fucking with me, and I'ma do you the same way Gael did Shadae."

Bringing my eyes back to hers, I watched them bitches flutter shut and her body go limp.

I scooped her into my arms and laid her dumbass on the couch, then dipped from her apartment.

Getting in my car, I reached into the middle console to grab my pill bottle.

Popping the top, I tossed back two xannys and leaned my chair as far back as that muthafucka could go.

Getting comfortable, I powered off my phone, ready to sit outside Em's crib to find out who caused the change in my bitch.

The doors of the slaughter mill opened, gaining my attention from past bullshit to present bullshit. Walking in, Rize and Lynx were chopping it up 'bout something while Honor strolled in last, not saying a word, but the stress lines on his forehead said enough.

"Take the money in the back and run it through the counters. Band it by the thousand and set two-fifty to the side."

Lynx nodded, dapping me up, and Rize followed suit. I waited until they were both out of the room to zero in on Honor.

"You good?"

"I'm straight," he coldly answered.

"Nigga, this is me you talkin' to," I scoffed.

"Fuck that's supposed to mean?"

"Nigga, I can read your mind, I know what you thinkin'," I sang in tune with that Avant song.

"I'm not Four. Take that shit elsewhere." He waved me off.

Not taking it to heart, I pried deeper 'cause if this nigga didn't get his frustrations out now, then he was gon' do so once the meeting started.

"Honor," I gritted, getting his attention.

"Not right now, Crown," he huffed, breathing heavier than normal.

"Then when, my nigga? We don't need this meeting going left."

"And it won't," he barked, puffing out his chest.

"Pipe down, pup," I joked. "I'm just saying this shit doesn't only affect you now. We all in bed with Lucian?—"

"Pause!" Honor and I spat simultaneously.

"You gotta chill," he told me, lightening up.

"Nah, forreal." I chuckled. "Wassup with you tho? You and Navy good?"

At the mention of sis' name, Honor's whole jaw tensed.

"Nigga, you don't gotta say it 'cause your jaw did it for you."

"Fuck you. We're good, but I can tell this new situation with Lucian and Choyce is bothering her."

"Sis feeling threatened?"

"Never. Navy knows she's it for me." He shook his head, and I couldn't tell who he was trying to convince me or himself.

"Then what's the problem?"

"She doesn't want me in this shit. She keeps trying to pull me out, and I keep sinking further into this bullshit with Lucian."

"That's not on you, tho'. You were ready to get out, but then?—"

"She understands I'm gon' always do what's needed to keep y'all safe, but she feels I shouldn't have to trade in my life for y'all's safety."

"Damn," I mumbled. "I mean, she's got a point.

We're all adults. You don't have to protect us like we're still those kids back in Gravehart Homes.

We escaped that shit and did ight for ourselves.

It's time we all start thinking and moving selfishly.

Not in the sense that we're shitting on each other but more so putting our family before all else.

Wolfe's already got two up on us, and nothing is falling apart.

He puts Chosyn and our niece first. I want the same, and you deserve it too. "

"Nigga, you tryin' to break up the home team?" Honor's brow shot up as he shifted his weight to his back foot.

"Never. Y'all niggas my family, nothing's gon' change that. At the same time, I want the sixty-year marriage, a bunch of four-eyed kids runnin' around, and a dog to take to Starbucks on some bougie shit."

"Is Four ready for all that?" he asked.

I shrugged 'cause the truth was I didn't know. I wanted to believe each day we've spent since making it official was us taking a step in that direction, but River was so fuckin' closed off.

"I told her I love her at the racetrack," I confessed.

"Oh shit. What did she say?"

"Nothing. I didn't give her time to say shit back. I let her know I had enough love for both of us."

"Ight." The shift in Honor was instant. His smile vanished, replaced by a blank stare.

"Nigga, if you know some shit 'bout my bitch like you did Chosyn speak now. Spare me the fuckin' third act drama."

"I don't know nothing other than what River shows."

"What you mean by that?"

"Y'all two are cut from the same cloth but stand at opposite ends of the spectrum."

"Nigga!" I grunted, voice rough with irritation. "Speak to me to me like I'ma eight year old in the first grade."

"Y'all both got secrets. You're hiding yours out of fear, and she hides hers because she can't let go."

"How you figure that?"

"The way she played you when y'all first met. She was willing to keep shit open but still wanted to claim you. Most women aren't with that type of bullshit unless they're struggling with letting something go."

Mulling over Honor's opinion on my situation, I thought about hitting Chosyn up to see if she could tell me something. I didn't see a future for me that didn't involve Four. In every bad and good scenario, she was right there.

"When she's ready, she's gon' fuck with you. In the meantime, keep fighting to win her over."

I nodded my head, agreeing, all the while thinking about how I was fighting an opponent I couldn't see, and still, my dumbass was willing to shoot blindly in the dark.