Page 54 of Mates for the Raskarrans #1-6

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Ellie

I lie beside him until he falls asleep. It doesn’t take long. His eyes close immediately and his breathing goes deep, steady a few moments later. I count to a hundred slowly in my head, giving him time to really settle, then peel myself away, tucking the furs around him. He doesn’t stir.

For a little while, I just sit there, unsure what to do with myself.

With him. I touch a hand to his forehead.

He feels warm, but is it more warm than normal?

Every time I’ve been close to him, he’s seemed to radiate heat.

There isn’t any sweat beading on his forehead, and I figure that has to be a good sign.

I decide to leave him to rest. It’s probably the best thing for him. The only thing, really. It’s not like I have Grace’s medical knowledge. Even with her limitations, she’d probably have a few ideas. I can barely think straight past my exhaustion.

I look over to the bed Anghar set out for me. Across the cave from him. I’m tempted to drag the pile of furs over to his side so I can sleep next to him. So I’ll wake if he stirs. If he needs anything.

Because I’m going to be able to understand what he needs if he tries to tell me.

His rumbling alien words make no sense to me at all.

I don’t understand how we were able to speak in our dreams when in the real world we don’t speak the same language.

I don’t understand how we’re able to share a dream full stop, but this is an alien planet, and he’s an alien species.

It must be something unique to this place or his people.

It’s the first time I’ve really had a chance to process, and now my brain races with thoughts, once again keeping me awake despite my exhaustion.

I wonder if Anghar remembers the dreams exactly as I do, or if they’re different to him.

Is it really him in the dream or just a version of him?

If the dreams are what happens when two people are supposed to be mates, does that mean Liv’s vivid dreaming is because she’s mates with one of Anghar’s tribe?

Are there others in the group who were also having the same dreams, but no one mentioned it because they didn’t think it was real?

My thoughts of the others leave me wondering how they all are. If any of them were hurt by the creatures attacking. I was so focused on taking on the one closest to me, I didn’t register anything else. Only Liv, standing beside me. I don’t think she was hurt. And when I ran…

God. I ran away. They’ll think I abandoned them. That I left them to save myself.

I hope they’re okay. I hope Sam is safe. I hope Khadija managed to keep the other creature away from everyone until Anghar’s tribe arrived. I hope Liv isn’t hurt, that she isn’t afraid. That whoever she dreams of is good to her.

The way Anghar has been good to me.

The sun is still shining outside, a little of the light spilling into the entrance of the cave.

The crackling fire casts enough extra light that it’s not difficult to see.

I crawl over to Anghar’s pack, looking through it for more of the meal bars.

Everything inside is soggy after our dunk in the river, but the food is well wrapped, and when I peel one open and bite into it, it tastes just as good as it did the first time.

Better, even, as if surviving the last few hours has made even my tastebuds grateful.

I scoff the whole bar, still so hungry. I’m tempted to have another, but gorging myself will probably only make me sick.

Instead, I head for the pile of animal furs that Anghar made for me.

It doesn’t look that comfortable, but when I sit down in them, I realise how padded and thick they are.

Warm, too, I imagine. Not that we need that.

The fire fills the cave with heat - a bit too intense when combined with the general warmth of the day.

It’s doing a good job of drying me out, though, my boiler suit no longer sodden.

I peel off my boots and socks, laying them closer to the flames.

My poor feet are all wrinkled, but it only takes a moment for them to start drying out and returning to normal.

I look over to Anghar, wondering if I should try to take off any of his clothes.

Lying in their dampness probably isn’t doing him any favours, but he’s so big, I’m not sure I’d be able to remove them without hurting him.

Certainly not without disturbing him. I look to his feet and the supple looking shoes that I’ve envied a number of times.

They appear tied on with laces, so I crawl over to get a closer look.

Working the ties loose, I give the boots a gentle tug, peeling them away from his feet and setting them beside mine to dry.

That done, there’s little left for me to do but wait.

My whole body feels heavy, and I think the light outside is starting to fade.

Perhaps not darkness, but the lowering of the sun that suggests it’s late afternoon.

After the exertions of the day, it doesn’t seem wrong to crawl back over to the pile of furs and nestle down into it.

But as I lie down, my head keeps spinning round and round, going over everything that’s happened in the last few days.

The panic as all the lights on our transport ship turned red and started flashing.

The crew rushing us towards the escape pods, weapons in their hands. Not being sure if those weapons were for us or for someone - or something - else. Not being sure which of those two options was worse.

The lurch as the escape pod detached from the ship, drifting away from it, watching it get smaller and smaller out of the one tiny window overhead.

Then the bump and rattle as the pod entered the atmosphere of the nearby planet.

Being shaken until I thought every bone in my body would break.

The jolt as the parachutes deployed and the crash as we landed on the beach.

All that before we had to contend with low supplies, monstrous animals, the ever-growing fear that we were going to starve. It’s no wonder my head won’t stop racing.

At least I don’t have to be afraid that I’m sick anymore.

Whatever’s going on here, allowing Anghar and me to join dreams, he’s not concerned about it.

So I guess I don’t have to be. It seems like it’s normal for him.

Expected. Maybe he didn’t expect me to show up - some skinny little human girl - but he knew what the dreams were, knew what they meant.

To him, anyway.

But even with that weight off my mind, I’m still trembling.

It’s as if now I know I’m not sick and I’ve had some food, all the other things I’ve been too preoccupied to deal with are clamouring for my attention.

We’ve been through so much. I’ve been through so much.

It’s hard to believe I’ll ever feel normal again.

But then another memory asserts itself - the memory of Anghar holding me in his arms. How it quieted all the noise in my head.

Maybe I don’t have to deal with all of this alone.

I get up. Drag the furs he so carefully laid out for me over to his side of the cave, arranging them next to him. He doesn’t stir.

I settle myself into the furs. I don’t even intend to touch him, just to lie beside him, let his proximity still my racing thoughts. But as I lie back, his arm goes around me, draws me to his side.

I rest my head on his shoulder, breathe in his scent - a mix of river water, sweat and blood, and beneath all that, the woodsy musk that I recognise from our dreams.

It’s as if my whole body does a deep breath in, a deep breath out.