Page 128 of Mates for the Raskarrans #1-6

CHAPTER TWELVE

Lorna

T he next morning, Shemza wears a grin that makes heat lick up my spine when he comes to help me with my water. I should go to get my sink, but I don’t. I just stand there, immobilised by his smile. He steps through my door, shutting it behind him.

Then his hands are on me, lifting me into his arms as he kisses me with a passion that leaves me panting in seconds. Damn, he got good at that fast, taking all the ways of kissing I’ve shown him and using them on me with creativity and precision.

“Good morning to you, too,” I say when he gives me a moment to catch my breath.

“Good?” He gives me the thumbs up again.

I shake my head, laughing as I bat his hand down. “We’re not going to start using thumbs up to communicate sexual pleasure. It’s weird, and-”

I’m cut off by him lifting me up onto the countertop next to my sink, his hands working at my belt again.

“What are you doing?” I hiss, but I don’t stop him. Not at any point while he pushes my trousers and panties down, drops to his knees, and licks me until I come so hard, I think I burst a blood vessel trying to contain my screams.

He’s definitely looking smug as he pulls my trousers up again, refastening my belt. I’ve dealt with plenty of smug men in my time, but I find it somehow endearing on Shemza. I guess because of what he’s smug about.

“Wash your face,” I say, flicking water at him.

I splash my own, too, hoping the bright red of my cheeks will cool some before we have to step outside. I’ll have to carry my sink a little further than yesterday - at least that way I can disguise it as exertion.

After breakfast, it’s time for cleaning. With my mood so much improved, it seems to fly by, feeling like barely any time at all passes between opening up the door to a dusty, dirty hut and closing it on a sparkling one.

“Feel better?” Carrie says, gesturing to me.

“Much,” I say. “Sorry for being down the last couple of days.”

She waves off my apology.

“Some days. Bad days,” she says, pushing the words out.

It’s something Rosa used to say, on the days when misery used to follow me round like a cloud of fog.

I wonder if her ears prick as her words to me echo across space.

Though I’m still devastated she shut me out, I can’t hold any bad feelings towards her.

I can’t blame her for what she did, and she helped me in so many ways.

I send her out some good vibes. Hope she’s as happy as she can be in her prison cell back home.

“Some days are just bad days,” I say to Carrie. “All we can do is try to make the next day a better one.”

My mind goes back to Shemza’s head between my thighs. Today is definitely shaping up to be a better one.

As we head back to the fire for our now daily post-cleaning pamper, I can’t help wondering what Shemza has planned for our walk today, and I’m sure my cheeks are pink as I take my seat.

There’s a pleasant atmosphere around the fire.

The weather has definitely cooled off since the thunderstorm, the air no longer so oppressively hot.

I’m sure it’s partly responsible for the improved mood amongst the girls, but also, even the last holdouts are starting to get more settled.

Hannah seems less on edge, and Mattie doesn’t flinch every time there’s a burst of laughter from somewhere. They’re allowing themselves to relax.

I’m pleased for them. Maybe when the new tribes arrive, they’ll find their mates and have families, and it will be happily ever afters all round.

If a mate and a family are their idea of a happily ever after.

They’re so firmly part of mine, it’s hard to imagine they wouldn’t be part of someone else’s, but everyone’s different.

I just hope enough of them dream of family, so there are plenty of other people’s children for me to snuggle in place of my own.

The thought that I will never have my own still stings. But it’s something I had to start coming to terms with four years ago. All this with the raskarrans and mates is just a bump in a road I’ve been walking for a long time.

I just have to make a new dream. One where secret liaisons with a gorgeous raskarran in the forest are enough to sustain me.

As soon as Grace arrives with her latest batch of cream for us, Molly abandons her slate, letting it clatter to the floor, her letters half finished, and comes to sit with us. Sally watches her go, but doesn’t say anything, instead turning her attention to Jassal, trying to coax her to continue.

“Aren’t you going to finish up today?” Grace says, an almost cajoling note to her tone.

Molly picks at her nails, cleaning out the chalk dust that’s gathered under them. “I don’t think I need to.”

Her tone is dismissive. I can’t tell if it’s aimed towards the lessons or Grace.

“Molly, I think…” Grace starts.

“I’m eighteen, I can make decisions without your help.”

Definitely Grace, then.

“Funny,” Khadija says. “You were quick to choose lessons when the grown-up job was cleaning.”

Molly ignores her, her ire still focused on Grace.

“If you want to discuss what we talked about earlier, Molly, we can do that, but being rude to Sally isn’t exactly helping your case.”

“There shouldn’t even have to be a case,” Molly fumes. “I should be able to choose for myself.”

Then, without another word, she stomps off.

“What was that about?” Liv says, eyebrows raised.

Grace sighs. “She wants to move into her own hut. She says she’s a grownup and doesn’t need me coddling her. I didn’t think I was coddling her, but, well.”

She gestures in the direction Molly left in.

“I don’t think making sure she gets up and out of bed in time for breakfast counts as coddling,” Liv says. “She’s being a brat, Grace. Don’t take it personally. Want me to tell her she can’t have a hut on her own anyway, whatever she thinks about her maturity?”

“Eighteen,” Khadija says, laughing. “Does she really think any of us believe that?”

“It’s tough for her,” Grace says. “She’s stuck in the middle. Too young for us, too old to embrace being one of the kids. She’s trying to play both sides to her advantage, but she wants to be considered an adult.”

“Well, an adult would appreciate that there aren’t going to be enough huts to go round if both Darran and Walset join us in a few days’ time,” Liv says.

“She can’t have her own hut. I might have to ask some of you guys to double up, as it is.

She’s a member of the tribe. She needs to appreciate that’s likely to involve some sacrifice in the short term. ”

“Maybe even long enough for her to grow up a bit,” Khadija says.

Grace sighs. “I perhaps should have led with that argument, rather than just saying she’s too young. I’ll talk with her.”

“You’re not her mother, Grace,” Liv says.

“Funnily enough, that’s what she said, too.”

Liv gives her a sympathetic look. “And she was probably trying to be hurtful. I’m not.

You’re not her mother. She’s not your sole responsibility.

I think it’s very kind of you to try taking that on, and I’m pretty sure Molly will come to appreciate it one day, but don’t ever feel like you have to deal with her alone.

She’s a sweet enough kid most of the time.

I’m sure she’ll come round once she’s snapped out of her bad mood, but we’re a tribe.

We’re all in this together. That means she has to understand that she’s out of line, but it also means you don’t have to be the only one to tell her.

If you need backup, you only have to ask. ”

Grace nods, massaging her brow with her fingers. “Thank you. I’ll try just talking with her first. I’m sure she’ll be okay once she’s calmed down.”

Liv grips her arm in a very raskarran way of offering reassurance, then Grace heads off after Molly.

“That is only going to get uglier before it gets better,” Khadija says once Grace is out of earshot.

“Probably,” Liv says. “Grace is right. It’s tough for her. What, fifteen, sixteen years old and the next closest people to her in age are five years older, seven years younger. She’s her own little island right now, and only time is going to make that better. Maybe three or four years.”

“Even a month feels like a lifetime when you’re fifteen,” Sally says.

I think of my engagement to Robert, announced on my sixteenth birthday, but arranged a month before. Married a month after.

Those months didn’t feel like any time at all.

I do feel for Molly, but she has no idea how good she’s got it, if sharing a hut with Grace is the only thing she has to complain about.

Shemza is all smiles when he comes to collect me for my walk later, and my stomach flutters at the look in his eye.

“Where are we going today, then?” I say. “Far, not far?”

I hold my hands apart, then bring them closer together.

“Far,” Shemza says, repeating the hands apart gesture.

“Don’t let him wear you out,” Liv says, and I nearly blush.

Shemza grins, but puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Lorna safe,” he says.

Liv’s smile is almost motherly. “I know. You’ll take care of her.”

I need to leave before my face starts burning.

We walk out into the forest, Shemza keeping his pace steady. I thought he’d want to get straight back to the hunter’s hut, but we don’t go in that direction, instead walking directly away from the village. When we’ve gone far enough that no one would see or hear us, he stops and turns to me.

“What?” I say.

With a grin, he grabs me, swinging me onto his back.

I yelp, wrapping my legs round his waist and my arms round his neck, clinging to him as he sets off running, his long legs eating up the ground beneath us.

We move so fast I have to close my eyes, but Shemza’s hands are strong on my legs, and I never feel unsafe.

I don’t know how far we’ve gone when he starts to slow, coming to a gentle stop before setting me down. His grin is enormous when he turns to me, and I arch my brows.

“What are you up to?”