Page 21 of Mates for the Raskarrans #1-6

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Liv

I scan the tree line, looking for any signs of Ellie.

Nothing.

I drop my hands, stop shielding my eyes against the bright sunlight, and turn back to the group.

The aliens - the raskarrans - are huddled together in conversation.

One of them slopes off, grabbing a pack before heading in to the jungle.

The others continue talking a little while longer before they each go in different directions.

The healer, Shemza, heads for the fireside, sitting a short distance from the girls.

Grace brings him a scoop of water in one of the twisted bits of metal broken from the escape pod hull.

He accepts it, smiling at her as he takes a sip.

Some of the others watch this interaction warily, but relax back in to their conversations as Grace resumes her seat beside them.

They seem chatty this morning. For the last few days, everyone has been subdued, but today, after the solemnity of the funeral, they’re brighter, more talkative.

Sam and Rachel have already come to tell me they will join the raskarran tribe.

From the way Molly keeps watching Shemza, giggling and ducking her head when he notices, I think she’s found a reason to come along.

Which just leaves Carrie, Mattie and Hannah.

They’re sat clustered together now, but they don’t look as frightened as they did last night.

It’s good to feel a sense of hope that all of them will end up joining the tribe. It shores me up against the dread that fills my stomach a little more for every moment Ellie and her raskarran don’t appear.

Please don’t let her be dead.

Khadija walks up beside me.

“Should we be concerned that they’re not back yet?”

I sigh. “Gregar says no, but… She was so spooked, Khadija. I barely recognised her. I was afraid yesterday when I followed her down the beach that she was going to do something to hurt herself. I’m still afraid of that.”

“Not afraid that the alien is going to hurt her?” Khadija gives me a questioning look.

“No,” I say.

I don’t know how I can explain why without explaining everything. I still haven’t mentioned about the whole ‘mates’ thing to the other girls yet, not wanting to give them any reason to change their minds about joining Gregar’s tribe.

“He watches you, you know?” Khadija says. “All the time. He can be talking to his alien friends, but he’s always casting his eyes sideways, looking for you.”

I say nothing. What can I say? That when I thought he wasn’t real, I let him do filthy things to my body. Or that last night he held me in his arms all night long. I’m not even sure which of those two is more intimate. More damning.

“Is he going to want something from you that you aren’t prepared to give?” Khadija says.

“He wants me to be his mate,” I say, deciding frank is probably the best way to go. Khadija has always appreciated it in the past, and if there’s anyone who’s likely to hear me out about all this, it’s her.

“Okay,” Khadija says. “And do you want to be his… mate?”

“I don’t know,” I say.

“And the other one wants Ellie?”

“Anghar,” I say. “The healer one is Shemza. The grouchy looking one is Vantos. The other two are Maldek and Rardek, but I don’t know which is which.

They’re brothers. They look very similar.

One is a hunter, one is a warrior. Rardek is the hunter.

I don’t know what the difference is between those two things, though. ”

“And they’re all big and green and looking for a lady friend?”

“Pretty much,” I say. “But they won’t take anything we aren’t prepared to give. And they only ‘mate’ with someone they meet in their dreams. If your dreams have been normal, you don’t have to worry.”

Khadija considers this. “This is some weird shit, you know?”

“Yup.”

Then she smirks at me. “How long have you been dreaming about him? Since we arrived? Because I’m pretty sure you said something about a guy giving your breasts exactly the right sort of attention the day we crash landed here.”

I know I’m blushing, but maybe the sun burn is enough to disguise it.

“I didn’t think it was real,” I say.

Khadija laughs. A bright, genuine laugh that seems to surprise her as much as it surprises me.

“You kinky little bitch, having sleep sex with an alien,” she says, mercifully keeping her voice down. “Is it good? Is his dick like a human one? Does it have any interesting extras?”

I roll my eyes. “I haven’t actually slept with him. I haven’t even seen his dick. I don’t know if it’s interesting.”

“Liv, you have never been a prude before now, don’t try to convince me you’ve turned in to one.”

I find I’m smiling. The easy camaraderie we had before had felt strained last night, but it feels close to being normal between us again. We were never really friends, but she was the closest I had to one. Maybe now there isn’t anything to come between us, we can be friends for real.

“They’ve been taught that time in the dreamspace, the place where you go in the dream, should be spent pleasuring their woman,” I say, keeping my voice down and leaning close to her.

“What, just pleasuring her? Nothing for them?”

I shake my head.

“So every night you’ve been going to sleep and having some alien go down on you?”

“Pretty much,” I say with a shrug.

Khadija’s head cants to the side and she looks past me to where the other raskarrans are moving around. “No wonder you’re so keen to go with them.”

“It’s not just that,” I hiss. “You know it’s for the best for everyone.”

“I know,” Khadija says, then, “you think any of them might want to go in this dreamspace with me?”

“I don’t think they get a choice about it,” I say. “You’re not freaked out about the idea?”

Khadija shrugs. “We’re stuck here, aren’t we? If it comes with the option of a doting lover, I’m all for taking it.”

I’m still running the conversation with Khadija over in my mind when Gregar comes up to me. He touches my arm to get my attention, as gentle as I think it’s possible for him to be, then gives me an enquiring look, pointing towards the trees.

“Ellie?” I say, the only word I’m sure he’ll understand.

“Ellie,” he says, his gruff voice making her name sound strange.

Lorna is still sleeping. Grace said she’d been up half the night with a fever, that Shemza had to sit with her until the sunrise before the fever had broken and she’d settled into a restless sleep. I assumed this meant she was too weak to move, but Gregar’s question confirms it.

I try to clear my mind of Khadija and concentrate on Ellie.

Logically, I know Gregar’s right. Anghar will find her.

Even if he’s half as concerned with Ellie’s welfare as Gregar is concerned with mine, there couldn’t be anyone more motivated to find her.

And yet, I can’t shake the feeling that I need to be out there in the jungle, looking for her.

It’s like an itch beneath my skin, and I just can’t ignore it.

One day, I think. I’ll give it one day. No one on this beach will leave before tomorrow morning. So we can search until then. It will have to be enough.

I turn to Gregar and nod, realising as soon as I do it that I have no idea if this means the same to him as it does to me.

But he just nods back, then heads towards the pile of supplies the raskarrans brought with them.

They only assembled three tents last night, but they were each carrying one with them, so there are spares.

Gregar picks one up and starts loading the bag it’s in with other supplies.

“I thought we weren’t going anywhere,” Grace says, a note of alarm in her voice. “Lorna…”

“Can’t move until tomorrow at the earliest,” I say. “They know that. Gregar and I are going to look for Ellie.”

I turn to her. A few of the girls have come with her, each of them watching Gregar pack with looks varying from excitement to fear.

“You’re leaving us?” Molly says, her eyes going wide.

“Only for the day,” I say. “I’ll be back tomorrow before we pack the camp up.”

“But you’re the only one who can understand them,” Hannah says.

“I can understand one, and only when I’m asleep. The rest of the time, I’ve got no advantage over anyone else.”

“Who’s in charge while you’re gone?” Rachel asks.

The rest of them look to me and there’s not a hint of dissent in even Hannah’s expression. I’m in charge. It’s accepted. I’m chief of this little tribe whether I feel like a good candidate for that or not.

“I’m in charge,” Khadija says. “Me and the grumpy one have an understanding. He knows I’m the boss of him.”

“Vantos,” I remind her. “Thank you.”

Khadija shrugs. “If it were me lost in the forest, I’d hope someone came looking for me, too.”

Gregar walks up beside us, hefting his pack over his shoulder.

He looks at Khadija first, a strange formality to the way he slowly dips his head.

A sign of respect, I suspect, though I can’t know for sure.

Khadija returns the gesture, and Gregar flashes her a toothy smile, pointed fangs bared.

It shouldn’t be attractive, but something about those fangs has me feeling all hot and bothered.

And I’m about to put myself willingly into a situation where I’m completely alone with him, having promised to give the whole ‘mates’ thing some consideration.

Will he have expectations? Do I want him to?

I don’t know the answer to either question, but Khadija’s earlier assertion about being all for a doting lover keeps whirling round my mind.

Doting is the right word for it, and we are stuck here now for the rest of our lives.

Is it more crazy to accept him despite him being alien, or reject him just because that’s what he is?

“Okay,” I say. “Let’s go.”

Gregar carries them like they weigh nothing, and I’d feel bad about not taking any of them, but when we get to the forest, he sets off at a pace and I can hardly keep up with him. Days of not eating or drinking enough have caught up with me, and I’m embarrassingly unfit.