Page 109 of Mates for the Raskarrans #1-6

EPILOGUE

Rachel

I finally get round to packing up my things up a few days after I first join Vantos in the dreamspace.

The days between arriving home at the village and now have been a blur of sex and snuggles and Vantos constantly fussing over how much I’m eating, how much I’m resting, whether or not I’m looking paler than usual.

He takes his role as my mate very seriously, always concerned that I don’t tire myself out too much.

I can see how someone else might find it annoying, but I love it.

He doesn’t ever give me any room to doubt how much he cares about me.

Lorna’s arm is well enough that she can help.

“I still wear the support sometimes, if I’m helping with the cooking, or doing anything ‘strenuous’.” She rolls her eyes a little, clearly still frustrated with her weakness. “But I’m able to do more and more every day.”

She proves the point by hauling one of the baskets full of my clothes onto the bed.

“You broke your arm, it’s not surprising that it’s taking so long to get back to full strength.”

“Grace keeps telling me I’m healing really fast. She thinks those bitter berries have made me get better in less than half the time it would have taken back home. It doesn’t feel fast when you’re living it, but I’m grateful it’s not taking twice as long.”

She looks over at me. “I know we weren’t roommates for very long, but, I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too,” I say, drawing her into a hug.

“No, you won’t,” Lorna laughs. “You’ll be too busy enjoying being mated to miss me.”

“Not true. I’ll be able to spare a few seconds here and there, between enjoying being mated and learning to heal with Grace. There will be a little time spare.”

Lorna grins. “Didn’t know there was a joker under there. Being mated is looking good on you.”

I feel good. Well, I feel sick as hell and like I need to keep a lot of distance between me and the meal Hannah is cooking up for breakfast. But my heart feels good.

“Do you ever wonder why it took so long?” Lorna asks.

It’s a question I’ve thought about a lot - how so much confusion and heartache could have been saved if we’d just met each other in the dreamspace that very first night.

I would have had to endure seeing him injured, knowing he was my mate.

But enduring that was pretty bad without that knowledge.

All that time feeling responsible for his hurts because I felt like he had been protecting me.

And he had been protecting me. I know that now. Not just the collective group of us - me, specifically. Even all the way back then, I caught his eye. It makes my heart burst with happiness, and in that is where I found the answer.

“I wouldn’t have trusted it,” I say. “If we’d just hooked up that first night, I wouldn’t have believed it was for real.

I’d have been terrified all the time about the baby, and when he found out and accepted it and got excited about it, I would have thought he was pretending.

That he had to be like that because I was his mate and he was stuck with me.

I’d have made him and me miserable. This way, he showed that he accepted everything when he had no reason to.

And instead of doubting and mistrusting everything, I can look back at it all and see that’s what he was always doing, right from the very start. ”

Lorna smiles. “That’s beautiful. I’m happy for you.”

“I’m happy for me, too,” I say. And I really am. In all my life, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.

It’s funny, but on the rare occasion that Jeremy comes into my mind now, it always surprises me how little I actually felt for him.

The infatuation that seemed so strong at the time now feels flat and empty.

The heartbreak nothing compared to the torment of thinking Vantos couldn’t be mine.

It’s like my whole being has expanded for being here on this world.

I’m capable of feeling and experiencing so much more than little old bottom tier me.

It’s not all down to Vantos. I want to take some credit myself.

But it’s a lot him.

Lorna helps me carry my things over to Vantos’ hut.

Even though I’ve been fine to carry on as normal for all this time, it’s like now they know I’m pregnant, no one wants me to exert myself.

I protest that it’s just a basket of clothes, not heavy at all, but Lorna just shakes her head at me and takes the bulk of the stuff.

Vantos gives her a grateful smile when we arrive, taking the basket out of her hands.

“Thank you,” he says, his voice gruff as he shapes the words.

“No problem,” Lorna says.

He looks to me, confusion in his expression.

I expect Sally taught him to expect ‘you’re welcome’ as a response.

It makes me laugh and I dart forward to kiss his cheek, then gesture to the pile of things we have to sort out.

His expression goes solemn, and he turns back into his hut, carrying my belongings through into his bedroom.

I look round at the very plain, very utilitarian space.

Unlike some of the other homes, Vantos’ doesn’t have any decorations or clutter.

Every surface is clear, every space neat.

When he sets my basket down on the bed, he gestures to a little stack of interlocking baskets that stand at the foot of the bed.

They’re empty, ready for me. I go to him, sliding my arms round his waist and hold him tight, so very grateful to have been chosen for such a thoughtful person.

His tail twines round my leg, the sensation so familiar now.

And welcome. I love how close it makes me feel to him - as if every part of his body needs to be touching me as much as I need to be touched by him.

When I step back, he brushes a hand over my stomach. I might be starting to notice a new firmness there, but there’s nothing that would stand out to anyone else. Still, Vantos’ fingers skate over me with reverence, as if he expects to feel the baby kicking inside me any moment.

“It’s going to be a few weeks yet before anything interesting starts happening,” I say, placing my hand over his.

He kisses my temple, then moves his hands to my shoulders, steering me out of the bedroom and towards the other end of his hut.

There are three rooms - the bedroom, a central kitchen-living-dining area, and a second room with a curtain across the doorway.

It’s this room he brings me to, and when he opens the curtain with a flourish, I’m momentarily confused.

There’s a pile of stuff on the floor between two smaller beds - like the ones Lorna and I have been sleeping in.

I wonder if the reason Vantos’ hut is so tidy is that he keeps all his clutter in here, but then I start to process what I’m actually seeing and realise that none of these things were in Vantos’ hut before this morning.

Because they’re all baby things. Tiny little clothes and wooden block toys, and an ornately carved cot that both fills me with joy and breaks my heart.

Because it must have belonged to someone in the village before the sickness took all the women, and most of the kids and elders.

The thought that someone made this cot - for a child they must have loved dearly to spend so much time on the carvings - only to have that child taken away from them…

I trace my fingers over what looks like a chosta flower carving and tears well in my eyes.

When I look round at Vantos, his expression is more solemn than usual. He raises a hand to my face, brushing his fingers over my cheek, and I know he understands my emotions. I don’t need to try to gesture an explanation. He gets it. He feels the same. Sadness and joy tangled up in one.

I wonder how I could have ever doubted that the raskarrans would see my baby as anything other than a blessing. Anyone who has lost so much would value and celebrate any life, and I feel a pinch of shame that I let my own insecurities and doubts colour my opinion of them.

“Thank you,” I say to him, pressing a kiss to his lips. “For this, but also for everything. For being you. For being mine.”

Vantos grins.

“Mine,” he says, then sweeps me up into his arms, carrying me back into his bedroom.

I laugh as he sweeps the basket of clothes off the bed, his passion overcoming even his desire for tidiness.

He strokes a big hand up my leg, dipping beneath my dress to find my pussy. It aches for his touch. It always does.

“Yours,” I say to him. “Always.”

“Always,” he replies.