Page 107 of Mates for the Raskarrans #1-6

CHAPTER TWENTY

Vantos

“ W hat?” my Rachel says, her voice shaking, her pale skin growing paler.

My Rachel.

Mine. Really, truly mine.

“You are sleeping, my linasha. This is the dreamspace.”

My heartspace is so full, it actually hurts.

I have never known such joy as I feel now, holding my Rachel, my linasha, in our dreamspace.

Hearing her words and understanding them.

Even if she seems to be struggling to find them at this moment, her mouth opening and closing without letting any sound out.

Then my Rachel bursts into tears. Again.

I wrap my arms around her, drawing her into me, lying down with her so I can press all of her body against mine. Make her feel safe and comforted.

“Why are you crying?” I ask. “You are unhappy. Tell me what I can do to fix this, linasha.”

“I’m. Not. Unhappy.” Her words escape on little gulps of breath as she burrows against me. “I’m so happy.”

“You cry because you are happy?”

She lets out a little laugh. “I think pregnancy hormones are making me crazy.”

“Ah, yes. I know of this. When my mother carried my sisters, she was also prone to strong and confusing emotions.”

“You had sisters?”

“Yes, two. Twins. It is a rare blessing from Lina to carry two younglings together. My parents were overjoyed. I was… less so. Twin terrors to torment me.” I grin, remembering those early days, when my sisters were first learning to crawl, then walk.

How they used to follow me around. At the time, I begrudged it, but now I see it for the act of affection that it was.

“You must miss them,” my Rachel says, a little sadness in her voice.

“Every day,” I say. “It is the burden all raskarrans bear - missing the ones who were taken from us before their time.”

“I had a brother. Well, I had a few, and sisters too, but only one who survived past infancy. He died in an industrial accident when I was fifteen and he was twelve. His name was Daniel. I miss him every day, too.”

“My sisters were Delfan and Tiffan. They also passed on their twelfth rainy season. It is no age.”

“No.”

We fall silent for a moment. My tail is looped around my Rachel’s leg, my arms cradling her, and despite the sad turn of our conversation, I am bursting with happiness.

“I wanted you for my mate from the first moment I saw you,” I tell her.

“Really?”

She pushes back from me so she can look into my eyes.

I roll onto my back, drawing her with me, so she is atop me, her slight weight pressing down on me in a most delicious way.

My cock is hard as rocks, but I ignore it, more than content just to speak with her for now.

Understanding her words is such a sweet joy.

Hearing the thoughts of my careful, considerate linasha.

“Your sunset hair caught my gaze, and I have never looked away since.”

“I was filthy.”

“And tired, and hungry, and sad,” I say, stroking a hand over her face, the memory of her gauntness making my heartspace pinch. “But I think my spirit recognised yours, even through all that. I went to sleep every night, hoping to find you in my dreams.”

Her smile is sweet and a little bit sad. I trace it with my thumb, feeling her tremble at the touch.

“Tell me your thoughts, linasha. All this time, I have been starved of knowing them. I wish to always know what you are thinking now we understand each other.”

She hesitates, I can see it in her expression. But then she shakes her head, as if casting out whatever it was that made her pause.

“I was thinking about my mother. She always said I was useless and stupid. It’s hard for me to believe that anyone could hope to be with me.

” She presses her finger over my lips before I can speak to reassure her.

“I know you’re telling the truth. You went to Gregar and asked to live with me. As mates do.”

I nearly snarl, remembering his reluctance to agree. How it was only Liv speaking in my favour - and that only to give it some consideration.

“I did. I thought that as you already had a mate, you would not get another. And I wanted to help you. I hoped you would be less sad, and less afraid, if you had someone like a mate to share your burdens. Selfishly, I wanted to fall asleep with you in my arms every night.”

Her smile brightens a little. “Still can’t quite believe you asked to break all the rules. For me.”

“Why not for you?” I frown. “You are a very fine female. The best in your tribe.”

“Me? I’m annoying. And not very clever.”

“You are clever. You are a skilled healer after such a short time, and you have learned many raskarran words.”

“I’m not brave like Ellie, or tough like Liv.”

“You travelled all the way to Darran’s tribe with me. You are more than tough and brave enough.”

“Well, I’m still annoying. I hum all the time.”

I flip us over so she is beneath me, pinning her in place. If she does not believe she is the finest female in the tribe, I will prove it to her. I will worship her until she is certain of my devotion, until she is certain she deserves it.

“You do not hum all the time,” I say, pressing light kisses to her neck. “You hum when you are happy. I like this. It means I know what you are feeling, even when we do not have enough words to speak.”

“Vantos,” she says, and my name sounds breathy and needy on her lips. I like this, also.

“You cared for me when I was sick. You were kind and patient, even when I did not deserve it.”

I slip my hands beneath her night clothes, pushing her top up, revealing her hips, her stomach, her breasts, before tugging it over her head and throwing it aside.

She arches into me as I kiss a path down from her neck to the peak of her right nipple, taking that little bud into my mouth and giving it a suck.

“You got injured fighting for me. Protecting me.”

I pause, looking up to meet her eyes. “This is more true than you know. That Cliff Top male talked of the things he would do to you, and they were not pleasant. It filled me with a rage I have never known before. I fought to defend all of the tribe, yes, but I fought mostly for you.”

“I hate that you were hurt. I don’t ever want you to be hurt again.”

“And I do not wish to be hurt so again, but I am a warrior, my Rachel. It is my job to protect the tribe. To protect you and our youngling. I cannot promise I will never be hurt doing this.”

I expect her to protest, to need more reassurance that with Darran’s tribe joining ours, the risk is low. I plan to brag of my skill and tease her with touches until she is laughing and forgets her worries for a time. But her next words are not a protest at all.

“You just said ‘our youngling’,” she says.

I shift so my face is next to hers, looking deep into her eyes so she will not doubt my words.

“You are my linasha. That makes your youngling my youngling also.” I place my hand over her stomach - still so flat, no sign of the life that grows there yet.

“It is a great gift you give to me. I have dreamed many times of being a father.”

Her arms go round my neck and she tugs me down, her mouth connecting with mine in a passionate kiss. In it, I feel all her emotions. Sadness and happiness and joy and fear, and most of all her devotion. Her devotion to me.

She questions her value when she is perfection. I am the one who does not deserve to call her my linasha.

“Vantos,” my Rachel says, breaking our kiss. “I want you. I want to feel you inside me. Please.”

She reaches between us, finding my cock and gripping it in her hand, squeezing me as she pumps her hand up and down. I groan, pressing my face to her neck as the pleasure overwhelms me.

“You wish to mate?”

“Yes. God, yes.”

“Linasha, the first mating should not take place in the dreamspace…”

“Oh…”

She sounds so disappointed. It makes my heartspace swell with something like pride. Because I am a bad, bad male.

“It is considered a dishonour,” I say. “A first mating should be in the waking world.”

I stroke her face. I am about to assuage her with the promise of everything else we can do here when she pushes me away from her.

“Then I want to wake up,” she says, jumping out of my bed.

I grin at her enthusiasm. “It is a dream, linasha. We will wake when we wake.”

“And if I wake too late, I’ll feel horrible and sickly and not in the mood for mating. I want to wake up now.”

“You cannot just decide to wake.”

But she is beaming at me, her smile as vibrant as the sun.

“It’s just a dream, right? A super realistic dream?”

“Of course, linasha.”

She closes her eyes a moment, then rushes to my front door. I follow after her, arriving at her back just as she pushes it open.

And outside, it is not the village, but the cliffs by the great sands near where we found her tribe.

She must have seen the cliffs in the distance, has conjured them from her memory.

The wind is loud, and it whips around my legs.

I want to wrap my Rachel in my arms and protect her from the chill, for she is wearing only a tiny piece of cloth around her waist, her breasts bared to the wind.

“You ever have a dream where you’re falling?” she asks, stepping out of my hut and onto the cliff, heading straight for the edge of it. She grins as she turns around, and I realise what she is about to do mere moments before she does it. “I’ll see you in the waking world.”

And then she jumps off the edge of the cliff.

My heartspace pounds as I sit up in my bed, beating fast with all the terror of watching my Rachel, my linasha, plummeting from my view.

Oh, but she is a wily, clever female. For I am awake, am I not?

I get out of bed, rushing to my door. When I pull it open, Rachel is running towards me.

It is early, the light not yet peeking through the leaves, but the whole world is washed the soft blue colour that means the sun is about to rise.

Others will not start to stir for a little while.

Which means we have time and plenty of it.