Page 15 of Mates for the Raskarrans #1-6

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Gregar

“ I t’s not that you frightened me, so much as I’m frightened by the whole situation,” my Liv says, and I could shout my relief to the stars.

I am still at fault. I still did not take the time to explain the situation to her.

Caught up in my delight in her, I allowed my own desires, my own expectations, to rule our interactions.

I will not make that mistake again. I will let her lead in all things from now on, take my time to explain to her anything she needs to understand.

I will do it gladly too. Because I never want to be the male whose female fears him. Just the brief taste of that shame was enough to make me want to claw my own eyes out.

“Ask me anything you need to know, my linasha, and I will explain it,” I say.

A smile twitches at the edge of her lips.

“Why do you call me that?” she says. “Linasha?”

“It is the name raskarrans use for their fated one. The female meant for only them. The goddess of the trees, Lina, grants a male his mate. We take the name for our mates from our goddess.”

“Your mate?” My Liv’s expression is... confusing. I do not know if she is angry or if she does not understand my meaning.

“Is this not a term your people use?” I ask.

“It is,” she says, “but not normally in human - in people relationships.”

“Your people do not form a mate bond?”

“We get married,” she says. “Or we used to. Before Mercenia outlawed it for most of us.”

“What is this ‘married’? I do not understand this word.”

The dreamspace tries to translate, but there must be nothing truly similar in my experience. I get the sensation of celebration, like at a naming ceremony for a youngling. It is something to do with younglings, then? Or something to do with names?

“Uh, it’s a ceremony,” my Liv says. “When two humans choose to be life partners, they say vows - promise to love each other and be faithful. Other people watch and then everybody celebrates the union.”

This sounds strange and complicated.

“For raskarrans, such ceremonies would not be necessary. No raskarran needs to vow to love and be faithful to his mate. He just is.”

“Just like that?” my Liv says, a hint of amusement in her eyes, as if such things are unbelievable to her.

What strange people these ‘humans’ must be.

“Of course,” I say. “No true raskarran male would do anything to harm his mate. Intentionally.” I add, guilt flaring in my stomach.

“And you’ve chosen me to be your... mate?”

“No,” I say. “Lina chooses. I am just lucky she chose so well for me.”

“Lina chooses?” My Liv frowns.

I gesture around us. “The dreamspace,” I say. “When a male comes near his mate, they are drawn into the dreamspace together. That is how he knows who Lina has chosen for him. Only one female can share the dreamspace with him and she is his linasha.”

This is a simplification. Males may desire other males, or females other females. Or perhaps the best arrangement is for more than one mate to share in the dreamspace. But it is the truth for me, and the only truth my Liv needs to understand for now.

“A wise male uses his time in the dreamspace to pleasure his female,” I continue. “This is what we are taught. In this, I should have ignored my lessons.”

I study her expression, trying to decipher her thoughts. We might share the dreamspace together, but her headspace is still a mystery to me.

“And all your people believe in this? In mates?”

There is no believing involved. It is knowledge. But perhaps this is me misunderstanding her words again. We might speak the same language here, but it does not mean we always know each other’s meaning.

“They do.”

“Are any of them mated to any of my girls?”

She claims them as hers, my fierce female. She is the chief of her strange tribe. In this way, she is perfect for me. I thank Lina again for her generosity in granting this female to me.

“Only Anghar,” I say. “My best hunter and a good friend. He will treat his female well. The one who ran in to the trees.”

“Ellie,” my Liv says.

So that was the female’s name she was calling earlier.

“I’m worried about her.”

“Anghar will find her.” I am sure of this.

“If she is his mate, he will really want to, won’t he?”

“Yes,” I say, though I am wary this is not the right answer.

My Liv looks relieved and worried at the same time.

“You said no true raskarran would do anything to harm his mate?”

“Anghar will not hurt your Ellie, I swear it.”

“He won’t... try to make her do anything she doesn’t want to do?”

“What, like return to the beach?” I ask. “He will want her safe with the group, but if she needs time away, he will not force her to return.”

“No, I meant...” My Liv grimaces. “...he won’t force himself on her? Touch her if she doesn’t want him to?”

It was one of my concerns for my linasha if another tribe arrived before we did, it is true. But the idea that a raskarran male would do this to his mate - it is so abhorrent, so impossible. It never even occurred to me that is what she meant.

“Never,” I say, fervour slipping in to my voice.

My Liv nods, apparently satisfied. “And the others? The girls without mates. Are they safe with your people?”

“No member of my tribe would hurt a female. It is not our way. I had Vantos scout the area for signs of any others approaching. There were none. I do not doubt that others will be travelling towards your… escape pod. But we can leave this place before they arrive. Return to my village where you will all be safe.”

“You’d take us all on just like that? All those extra mouths to feed, and you wouldn’t want anything in return?”

I am confused by her question.

“Do not take this as criticism, my linasha, but you and your tribe do not seem well adapted to living here. I fear if you do not come with me to our village, you will not survive.”

“No, but that’s my point,” my Liv says. “We don’t really have a choice.

We don’t know the first thing about hunting, or fighting off big cats, or where to find water that isn’t rain.

If we don’t go with you, we’ll die, but when you’re in that sort of situation and someone shows up, promising to save you - it seems a little too good to be true. ”

“You think I do not speak the truth?”

“I think most people are not so kind-hearted that they would rescue twelve… Eleven. Eleven helpless strangers.” A look of great pain fills her eyes, and it takes everything in me not to wrap my arms around her. “Most people wouldn’t do that and not expect some sort of payment.”

She chews on her lip, reminding me of how wonderful it felt to have her lips pressed against mine. But her thoughts do not turn to mating. She is too frightened. Frightened of the situation, not of me, I remind myself, though that sounds as she put it - a little too good to be true.

“You want to protect me, and Anghar will want to protect Ellie, but what about the other girls? What if they do not mate to anyone in your tribe? What will happen to them then?”

“Then they may wish to travel to other tribes,” I say. “Seek their mates among others. Not all the tribes are bad, only some. And we would be sure to keep your females safe. I would not allow one of them to travel alone, unprotected.”

“I think we are talking about two different things,” my Liv says.

“I do not always understand your words, my linasha,” I say, shame souring my gut again. “If I misunderstand, then please, tell me as plainly as you can.”

She looks away from me a moment, then back to me. “I guess I’m afraid that if my girls do not mate with your tribe, you will not want them around. That they would be too… expensive.”

“Expensive?” This word comes to me more easily than ‘married’, though there is not a literal translation.

I get the sense of something being worth much in trade.

A fine piece of jewellery carved from pretty stones that would fetch several pelts or many food supplies.

Something of great value. Like my linasha. “You are very expensive.”

I mean to flatter her, but she does not appear to take it this way, frowning at me, her brows knitting together, a flash of her fierce spirit filling her eyes.

“I know,” she says. “Costs this much to feed, this much to clothe, this much to house, money, money, money. A drain on society! And what does society do to women like me, women like them, huh? It burns us up, burns us out.”

She spits her words with a rage I do not understand.

“I think we speak of different things again,” I say, bowing my head.

“What if my girls do not mate to your tribe, but they don’t want to go to some other tribe?

What then? We have nothing we can offer.

Except Grace, we don’t have any useful skills.

We don’t know anything about what it takes to survive here.

All of us were trained for one thing, one job back where we came from.

Mine was throwing things away. So if I was not your linasha, what value would I bring to your people?

What reason would you have for keeping me around? ”

This question I can answer. It is a simple one.

“Because it is the right thing to do.”

“I want to believe you mean that,” my linasha says.

And I want to touch her. Want to bring her the kind of pleasure that will make her cease to doubt me.

But I think my linasha will not be persuaded by touches.

She did not know the meaning of the dreamspace.

She does not understand raskarran ways. I must show her.

Prove myself to be the kind of male she can trust. I am not sure how, but I will not stop trying. However long it takes.

I rise to my feet and step towards her, watching closely for any sign of fear in her eyes. She is curious, cautious, but she does not scramble away from me, nor do her eyes grow wide.

I kneel before her, placing my hand over my heartspace.