Page 194 of Mates for the Raskarrans #1-6

CHAPTER FIVE

Sam

I f the others notice my eagerness to go to bed, they probably only think I’m exhausted. We’ve walked far longer today than any of the previous days, everyone eager to get some distance behind us, to close the gap between where we are now and where we want to be.

Still, it took me and Maldek almost a week to walk from Gregar’s village to Walset’s. We probably have at least another week of travelling left, thanks to our slower pace.

I’m just about to snuggle down into my furs when Maldek grabs me, waving his canteen under my nose. I roll my eyes at him, but take a large swig of the berry water.

“I’m trying to get my beauty sleep,” I tell him, taking another mouthful for good measure.

Maldek gives me a pleased look as he takes his canteen back, bowing his head as if I’ve done him some great honour.

I grin. His antics have always amused me, and he always does what he can to make me laugh.

A grin flashes across his face now as he sees that he’s achieved his goal, but then his smile fades, a thoughtfulness coming into his expression as he lifts a hand to my face, tracing a thumb over my lip.

It’s the sort of thing that could definitely be a romantic gesture, but I’ve never got that vibe from Maldek.

He knows he’s not meant for me, and so he’s not interested in being anything more than a friend.

Sweet raskarrans and their forever mates.

You don’t have to worry they’re getting the wrong signals from you, that a guy you think is just a friend will turn round and try to grab your ass when you drop your guard for a second.

So I let Maldek touch me, give him a questioning look as he does. He taps my lips lightly with a finger.

“Happy?” he says.

Another of the words he’s learned from Sally.

I smile, and I wonder if he can tell there’s something different about me. If my smile has changed somehow since last night.

“Yes,” I tell him. “Very happy.”

I give him my most theatrical bright smile. He laughs, then reaches for my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Goodnight, Sam,” he says.

“Goodnight, Maldek.”

I lie back in my furs, drawing them over me. Already my eyes are heavy.

It will be a good night, I think. Even if me and my mate have to navigate some more awkwardness before we fully come together, it will be a good night, because I get to spend it with him.

When I come to awareness in the dreamspace, it’s not in some fancy travel tent like yesterday, but on a wooden platform high in the trees.

I make the mistake of looking over the edge to see exactly how high, and yelp as I scramble backwards away from the edge, knocking into my mate and ending up accidentally sprawled across his lap.

“Well, hi there,” I say, grinning up at him.

He arches a brow, and I take the opportunity to shuffle off his lap before he shoves me off. While I would quite like to end up back there before the night is through, I’d rather it be at his invitation.

“Sorry,” I say, pointing over to the edge of the platform. “We’re very high up.”

“Do you dislike being high, little nightmare?”

“I’ve never been so high up before. I guess it just caught me by surprise. Maybe if I look a little slower, it won’t be so bad.”

I crawl forwards, intending to take another peek over the edge. I’m just working on gathering my courage when my mate comes to the edge, sitting next to me, his legs dangling off the side.

“I like it up here,” he says. “It is an outpost on my territory. On a clear night, you can see all the way to the river.”

I sit up, swinging my legs round so they’re dangling over the edge like his.

I swallow down the fear that rises, focus on looking out into the night, seeing what he’s seeing.

The trees make it difficult to pick out any details, constantly moving as they are, but then the clouds overhead shift, the moonlight landing on the river, lighting up the water so it appears like liquid silver.

“It’s beautiful,” I say. I peer at the water, tracing the curves it makes through the landscape, looking for familiar patterns.

In the distance, I spy a tight curve that could be wrapped around Walset’s village, but everything looks so different from a distance.

It’s difficult to tell what I’m looking at.

“I’m down there somewhere,” I say, gesturing to the river. “Asleep in a little travel tent.”

“Do you hope to spy yourself? One tiny female in the forest would not be easily seen from this distance.”

I look up at him, meeting his part amused, part mocking gaze.

“I’m not on my own,” I say, jabbing his side with my elbow. “All of Walset’s tribe are travelling with me. One tiny female and a whole tribe of raskarrans could be a little easier to spot.”

He doesn’t smile or laugh in response to my teasing, instead frowning at me.

“Why would Walset and his tribe leave their village so close to the big rains?”

“Because of this,” I say, gesturing round us.

“There are other reasons, but this is the good one. Me and eleven others, remember? Well, ten, because one of the girls died on the beach. Well, nine, because Molly’s just a kid, really.

And Liv and Ellie are already mated. So seven.

Seven single ladies, waiting to meet their mates. ”

“There are others like you?”

“Yes.”

“Do they all talk quite so much?”

His words startle a laugh out of me, and I look up to see the corners of his lips quirking upwards, threatening to break into a full on smile. He’s always good looking, but I think if he actually smiled, I’d be in danger of spontaneously combusting.

“No,” I say. “You got stuck with the chatterbox of the group.”

“Hmph.”

Yesterday, this noise felt a little dismissive. Today it feels more good humoured.

“I hope you don’t mind,” I say.

“It does not give me any bugs.”

I stifle a giggle with my hand, afraid he’ll take offense to my laughter. But then I see his lips twitch again.

“You’re teasing me,” I realise.

“You are back in my dreams again. If I am stuck with you this night as I was the last, I find I prefer to see you smiling than sad.”

He can make me feel terrible and elated in a single sentence, but I remind myself how strange this must all be to him. How strange I must be. He’s not inspecting my teeth and telling me I’m not suited to the forest. It’s a big step in the right direction.

One step at a time.

“Well, I’m normally a very happy person. It’s something my dad used to say to me - everything has a bright side, and you should always look for it. Life’s better that way.”

“Your father sounds like a wise male.”

I shrug. “He was, and he wasn’t. He had some very good ideas about things, but then he had some very bad ones.”

His voice echoes in my mind, an image flashing up before my eyes of him packing two little bottles into a bag, one with a red cap, the other blue.

Doctor only said to take it all because he doesn’t want me selling it. I’m fine, kiddo. I’m all better.

“You are sad again,” my mate says, interrupting the memory.

“He died. A long time ago now. It mostly doesn’t hurt anymore, but every so often it catches me in a tender place, you know?”

His gaze is intense on me. “I do know this, yes.”

I smack my forehead. “Of course you do, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be insensitive. I know you lost a lot of people when the sickness came. Sally told us about it. Not the details. But I know a lot of people died. That your women died.”

He turns away, and I see the bob of his throat as he swallows his emotions down. For a while we just sit in silence together, staring out at the river as it twinkles in the moonlight.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“That is a difficult question, little nightmare.”

“Sam,” I tell him, although I find I don’t mind the nickname so much.

“Sam,” he says, his voice thick, as if forming the shape of my name was difficult for his tongue.

I wait, expectant, for a long moment. Then I elbow his side and glower up at him playfully.

“You’re supposed to tell me yours.”

“Mine?”

“Your name, dummy, you never told me what it is.”

He’s silent for a long, long moment.

“It is Dazzik.”

Dazzik.

“It’s nice to meet you, Dazzik. Thank you.”

His lips curl upwards, just a little.

“Thank you for what?”

I shrug. “For sitting with me. For talking.”

I turn back to the view, looking up at the moons. One is nearly full, the other like a fingernail. So pretty and so strange.

“There’s only one moon where I come from,” I say. “And it’s always cloudy, so we hardly ever see it.”

Dazzik doesn’t answer for a moment. Then he shuffles, and says, “I think it would be a shame to see so little of a moon. They are beautiful.”

“Aren’t they?” I turn to him. “There weren’t so many beautiful things back home. I come from a very grey world. Your forests are lovely. There’s so much beauty here.”

He looks down at me, his gaze lingering somewhere near my eyes, but not quite meeting them. Then he lifts a tentative hand, bringing it to cup my cheek. His thumb touches the side of my nose before tracing a path along my cheekbone. I shiver at the touch, my eyes fluttering closed, lips parting.

His hand drops, and when I open my eyes again, he is back to staring at the view.

“Many beautiful things, yes,” he says, his voice hoarse.

I decide to take a risk, a chance, and raise a hand. He’s so much bigger than me. I have to shuffle round, press up onto my knees to reach as I gently brush my fingers over his hair. It’s thicker than mine, coarser. I can feel the heat radiating from him as if I’ve actually touched his skin.

When he doesn’t move, I get a little bolder, letting my fingers glide across his cheek, down to his jaw.

He turns his head away, rising to his feet and stepping away from me. I get to my feet, too, following after him, and there’s nowhere for either of us to go on top of this platform.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed. I just… I just wanted to touch you.”