Page 125 of Mates for the Raskarrans #1-6

CHAPTER NINE

Shemza

S omething is troubling Lorna.

I do not understand enough of the humans words to know what it was she tried to tell me yesterday, but I can read much in her voice and her face. She is frustrated, a little sad. All the females carry their burdens and I think Lorna is trying to share hers with me.

Or she is speaking it to me because she knows I will not understand. Because it is safe for her to vent. I am glad she has this outlet, but I do not want to not understand. I want to know her troubles so I can share in them with her. So I can help her to unburden herself.

I want the dreamspace to form between us so we can speak, and it is a growing frustration that it has not. That it perhaps will not.

When Sally has birthed her youngling, and it has enough sunsets that she is not so exhausted, I will ask her to teach me the human words.

But even getting to that point is going to be a long time, and I do not think I will learn the words with any speed once she is able to teach me.

It is all too slow. I am not an impatient male, but I find I am become one where Lorna is concerned.

It is not my own desires alone that drive me, though. She is hurting. She hides it well, but there is pain in her heartspace. I want to help her. I want to do what I can to take it away.

And I want to do it now, not in some distant sunset.

But the only tool I have is the birds. They bring Lorna joy enough to forget her troubles a while. So all I can do is build her a place where she can go when she is sad.

Building the shelter has gone quickly with Endzoh’s help.

It is not the finest of structures, but it is dry, and it will serve its purpose as a place to watch the wildlife when it is finished, but it is not quite ready yet.

I am disappointed. I wanted to give it to her this day, so that her bright smiles might return to her face again.

But Lina must be smiling on me, for as we are walking back toward the village, Endzoh bumps my arm with his hand to get my attention, and directs it toward one of the outposts.

I wonder what he is pointing to at first - there is no one else out here, just the two of us.

No signs of anyone having approached the village, either.

But then I see it. A busy male karaku bird darting about on the ground, clearing away the fallen leaves and debris.

I grin, clapping Endzoh on the shoulder in thanks.

We hurry back to the village, unsure how much time there is left before the show begins.

Lorna is sitting with Jassal and Ahnjas, Jassal talking animatedly about something in the musical human words, Ahnjas laughing uproariously as a large tower of his blocks falls over.

Normally such a sound would make Lorna’s eyes shine, but she is still subdued, still followed by the cloud of sadness that surrounded her yesterday.

Jassal notices me approaching and smiles up at me.

“Hello, Shemza,” she says, her grin all teeth and mischief.

“Hello to you also, Jassal. Would you please kindly tell Lorna that there is something I wish to show her? Something I think she will like.”

The two exchange words and Jassal turns back to me, her little brow furrowed.

“Lorna says is it something that we can all see together?”

“Of course,” I say, tapping her on the nose. “You are also invited. You and your brother both.”

Jassal’s grin grows enormous, and when she turns back to Lorna, I can hear the excitement in her voice. Lorna smiles at her enthusiasm, and I do not think the youngling is wise enough to realise that the smile does not meet her eyes.

Lorna gets to her feet, lifting Ahnjas up with her.

“ Okay ,” she says, turning to me. “ Warewegoin? ”

“It is a surprise,” I say when Jassal relays her meaning to me. “We have to walk a little way to get there, and we must go quickly, so I will carry Ahnjas on my shoulders, I think.”

Ahnjas digs his hands into my hair as I set him in place, holding tight.

Jassal skips ahead of us when I point her in the right direction, talking excitedly to Lorna.

Every so often, Lorna glances at me, and every time I smile at her, hoping to draw out a smile of her own.

Each time she tries, and each time I think it gets a little wider, a little more genuine.

Even before we arrive at our destination, the birds of the forest make a show for us.

They are busy as they dart amongst the trees, looking for fallen twigs and leaves to pad their nests ahead of the rains.

Lorna and Jassal make a game of spotting them, and even Ahnjas joins in, calling out when he spots one, one of his hands leaving my hair to point.

Lorna does not like this and chides Ahnjas when he does it.

“ Yuhholdontite, monster, ” she says. “ Idonwantchufallin.”

“Lorna is afraid you will drop Ahnjas,” Jassal says to me, shaking her head.

I grin. “I think she is more afraid that he will fall. She did not like him climbing trees, either.”

“Ahnjas can’t climb yet. Not high enough to fall.”

“Sometimes we are afraid of things that do not make much sense,” I say. “Like your Aunty Liv and the jorla.”

That makes her laugh, and Ahnjas also - though I’m sure he only laughs at her laughter, not because he understands.

It does not take long to arrive at the outpost. When I stop, Lorna looks around, confused, until I point upwards.

“ Ahmnotgoinupthere .”

Whatever it means, it makes Jassal laugh again. Lorna makes a cross face, but Jassal knows she is only teasing. They exchange a few words.

“Lorna says she can’t climb that high,” Jassal says to me.

“Tell her she does not have to. I will carry her. Can you climb, Jassal, or do you need my help also?”

“I can climb it,” she says, holding up her hands as her claws emerge.

Though she likes to impress people, I do not think she is so foolish to try something dangerous that is beyond her capabilities.

I nod for her to go ahead, and she scales the trunk up to the platform of the outpost in a matter of moments.

Lorna watches from behind her hands. I put a hand on her shoulder, then swing Ahnjas round into my arms. He has obviously been climbing with his father before, for he wraps his arms and legs firmly around me, his tail anchoring to my arm.

“ Holdtite ,” Lorna says to him, and he makes a bubbling sound, before laughing with delight as I climb up to the outpost with him.

“Hold on to your brother now while I fetch Lorna,” I say to Jassal.

“She is scared, Shemza,” Jassal says. “Hold her close.”

“I will.”

The thought fills me with a selfish sort of joy.

When I reach the floor again, I turn to Lorna. She’s paler than usual and looks up at the outpost with trepidation.

“ Safe ,” I say.

Her expression is full of nervousness, but she steps up to me, looping her arms round my neck as Ahnjas did.

And my headspace spins and spirals as I breathe in the scent of her, feel her body close to mine.

She is so small; I have to stoop to allow her to reach fully around my neck, and I place my hands on her hips, lifting her as I straighten.

Her legs go around my waist and she clings to me, her face pressed to my neck, and I wish it were not her fear that made her do so.

My body does not know the difference - it responds to her nearness, her breath against my skin.

I feel warm everywhere, somehow more alive at every point she touches.

Her scent is intoxicating, and if I did not already know it, this would have confirmed for me that no other female will capture my heartspace.

No other could make it race so, as if it would beat out of my chest if it could.

I scale the tree quickly, Lorna making a small squeak as the air rushes past us. Then I set her down on the platform of the outpost, and for a blissful moment, she continues to cling to me, before stepping back, her eyes pinched closed.

“ Okayokay ,” she says, her hands outstretched as if to steady herself.

Jassal and Ahnjas watch her with confusion, both of them used to being among the treetops. Probably carried up high by their father since they were old enough to hang on.

Lorna opens her eyes, then drops down to the floor, her hands gripping at the wooden platform.

“ Notokay .”

Jassal laughs, but then she tugs Ahnjas to Lorna’s side. Ahnjas just sits there, content to bash his little hands against the platform as he explores this new space, but Jassal sits at Lorna’s side and pats the back of her hand.

“ Sokay Lorna,” she says in a soothing voice. “ Iss safe. ”

“ Safe,” I repeat, scooping up Ahnjas as he starts to crawl away, then sitting down beside her.

I fear my idea to delight her has only made her feel worse, that it was a mistake to bring her. But when I place my hand over hers, she gives my fingers a squeeze just as she did by the climbing trees.

“ Ahno, ahno, ” she says. “ Issafe. Juss…” She takes a deep breath, then looks up. “ Fivethings .”

“ Fivethings?” Jassal says.

Lorna speaks to her for a moment. I give Jassal a questioning look.

“She says it is like a game to calm down. You name five things, then four things.”

Lorna holds up five fingers, then points to her eyes.

“Jassal, Ahnjas, Shemza,” she says, counting us off on her fingers. “ Trees , leaves. ”

She holds up four fingers, then wiggles them, before touching Jassal on the nose, her hair, feeling the material of her top, then tickling a finger against her palm. Jassal laughs, and I think Lorna looks a little less panicked.

She holds up three fingers, then cups a hand to her ear.

“ Birbir ,” Ahnjas says.

“Ahnjas says ‘birds’,” Jassal says in a loud whisper.

We go quiet as we listen to the sounds of the forest. I count rustling leaves, birdsong and the gentle, snuffly breathing of Anhjas in my arms.

After a moment, Lorna holds up two fingers, then sniffs at the air.

Jassal closes her eyes and breathes deeply.

There are many scents in the air - the scent of tree bark and leaves, the rain in the air waiting to fall later, our own scents, the wood of the platform.

I wonder which two Lorna chose, but she does not speak, just holds up one finger, then pokes out her tongue, pointing to it.

Jassal and Ahnjas giggle quietly, then get bright-eyed as Lorna pulls out a little pouch from her pocket.

I recognise it as one the elders use to keep their sweet treats in, and she pulls out morsels of fruit, passing one to Jassal and Ahnjas, popping them straight into their mouths.

Then she turns to me and hesitates, her hand outstretched before her, a morsel for me pinched between her fingers.

She looks unsure of herself, but it is not fear in her eyes anymore, her counting ritual working to calm her.

Instead, there is something like heat in her gaze, and she nibbles at her bottom lip, drawing my attention to it.

And maybe I am selfish, but I have a sudden wish that she will feed me as she did Jassal and Ahnjas.

It feels somehow intimate, as if we are crossing into some new territory between us.

I like that thought. I like that I am seeing clear signs in her of my affections being returned.

She presses up onto her knees so she is a little taller, then touches the fruit to my lips.

I part them, accepting her offering, and her fingers brush lightly against me.

But even such a small touch sends the heat of fire into my belly.

For a moment, our eyes lock, then she dips her head, reaching into her pouch for her own fruit.

She shows it to Ahnjas, then pops it into her mouth with a smile.

I gesture for everyone to remain quiet, then shuffle with Ahnjas toward the edge of the platform, swinging my legs over the side.

Ahnjas settles himself against me, sitting very still and quiet, like a good hunter.

Sally insists he will be a builder when he is grown, and I think she is right in this, but his father’s blood still runs strong in him.

Lorna sits next to me, Jassal on her other side. She puts an arm round Jassal, hugging her tight. I think it is Lorna that draws comfort from this, not Jassal, who is still patting her knee as if to reassure her.

Jassal leans round to shoot me a questioning look. I point out ahead of us to a circular clearing in the trees, bordered by roots that stick up out of the ground, a clear space between them, the perfect stage.

We watch in silence for a short while. Long enough for Jassal to shoot me another look - more aggrieved this time, demanding an explanation.

Then, just as I am about to tell her to be patient, there is a flash of feathers ahead of us, and the karaku bird drops into the clearing, grabbing at a leaf that has fallen into the middle of it and tossing it away.

“Oh,” Lorna says, and there is surprise and delight in that exhale that makes my chest puff up with joy.

“ Birbir ,” Ahnjas says, pointing.

“Shh,” Jassal says, leaning round again to scold him.

The karaku bird is a brightly coloured creature. Its feathers make it stand out amongst the trees and fallen leaves, and it fluffs them up as it jumps around its clearing, tidying away the mess. He is very particular, which is good for him, as only the tidiest of karaku males will attract a mate.

Sure enough, a few moments later, another bird hops into the clearing, her little feet gripping the root circle as she tilts her head, observing the male.

The females are smaller, less colourful, but beautiful in their own way, their feathers as many different shades of brown as the trees.

When the male spots her, he hops into the very centre, puffing up his feathers further.

Then he bows, his feathers slicking back so he forms a straight line from his beak to the tip of his tail.

And starts to dance.