Page 195 of Mates for the Raskarrans #1-6

And you touched me, I think, but don’t say. I don’t want him to think I didn’t like it. That I can’t still feel the ghost of his thumb on my cheek.

Dazzik scowls, his own hand going to his face as if he could brush away the echo of my touch. Then he looks surprised, almost pained, as he pats the side of his face as if he doesn’t recognise it.

“What’s wrong?”

I take a step towards him, but he turns, and there’s none of that hint of amusement left in his expression. No trace of the warmth I thought was starting to build between us.

“I do not understand this,” he says, his voice sharp. “I am come here each night to this place that is so like how the dreamspace was described to me, with a female who is strange to look at and to listen to, and I am changed also. Why? Why does it happen now?”

I raise my hands gently, meaning to placate him, but he almost hisses, jumping back to put space between us.

“Dazzik,” I say, and my heart aches for all the confusion and hurt he’s obviously feeling. That I’ve obviously caused.

I’m supposed to be the sunny, cheery one. I’m supposed to make people happy, not send them into meltdown.

One step at a time, I think. Solve your problems one step at a time.

But I’m not sure what the right next step is to take.

“I think I shall wake now,” he says, chin jutting upwards, certainty coming back into his expression.

“It’s a dream…” I start to say, but before I can get out the rest of it, tell him he’ll just wake up when he wakes up, Dazzik walks over to the very edge of the platform.

Jumps.

I sit bolt upright in my travel tent, gasping as I suck down breaths, my heart beating so hard I think I might be sick. Maldek stirs in his furs beside me, rubbing sleepy eyes before coming to alertness and crawling over to my side.

“Sam?” he says, voice low, quiet so as not to disturb the others sleeping nearby. “Sam hurt?”

It takes me a minute to process the question, figure out the right answer. I feel like I should be hurt, my whole body so on edge. But it’s just the adrenaline jolting me awake. I’m not hurt, I’m safe in my bed on the forest floor.

And Dazzik will be safe in his. You fall off something tall in a dream, you wake up when you hit the floor. That’s what happens. I’ve had enough falling dreams before to know. You don’t die in dreams. You just wake up.

So it’s okay. I’m okay, he’s okay. It’s all okay.

“I’m alright,” I say to Maldek, and my voice only shakes a little. “Just a nightmare, that’s all.”

Just a nightmare.

It’s early, most of the night passed during that short time I spent in the dreamspace.

I can tell by the colour of the walls of our tent that the sun has started to rise.

Going back to sleep at this point would probably just make me feel more groggy than I do now, so I reach for my bag, taking out a fresh set of clothes and pulling them on.

Maldek does the same, then follows me when I head outside and start poking at the fire.

I’ll make breakfast for everyone, I think. The elders won’t beat me to it this morning.

Maldek comes over with an armful of twigs and starts to build the fire up, while I fetch the cooking things and start chopping up roots.

The breakfast porridge is basically just cooked up mashed roots, but the ones we use for it have a slightly sweet flavour, a bit like sweet potato, and you can add berries and nuts to it, to make it a bit more interesting.

When Maldek is done with the fire, he has a quick scout round the bushes near the clearing and finds a few handfuls of fresh berries for me.

As Walset’s tribe start to stir, they emerge from their tents looking weary.

But that soon shifts when they catch the smell of breakfast, and they all brighten as they come to me and accept a ladleful of the root porridge.

There are lots of fists clenched over hearts in my direction, even from the elders, who give me slightly scolding looks first, and my cheeks ache from smiling so much.

It’s a good remedy to the abrupt end to my dream, and by the time we set off on the next leg of our journey, I’m feeling more upbeat about it.

Sure, it wasn’t the best end, but we still talked.

He still told me his name. There’s obviously something going on with Dazzik that he’s not talked about, something that will make his strange behaviour make perfect sense.

His worries about the supplies are just the start of it, I think. Just the edge of a bigger problem.

One step at a time, and it looks like step three is going to be less kissing, more convincing him I’m real, but I’ve got the whole day of walking stretching out ahead of me. Plenty of time to think about exactly how I’m going to do that.

There’s a bright side to everything. Even trudging through the forest all day on feet that are already starting to hold onto their aches through the night and into the next morning.

I slip a hand into my trouser pocket, finding the stone like Dazzik’s eyes in there, my fingers closing round it.

We’ll figure it out. One step at a time, we’ll figure it out.