Page 4

FOUR

BANE

I glance at the wall clock again while I wait for my table’s food to come up. Jerryn left over an hour ago to meet up with Alec, so it’s too soon to check that everything’s okay. Hell, he might not even be in the city yet. I need to slow down.

At least the bar is busy tonight. That should keep me distracted for a few hours until Jerryn’s back.

While I’m waiting, Ridley comes into the kitchen, his eyes already trained on his favorite person: Wren. He notices me and gives me a nod and a smile.

“Hey, Bane.”

“Hey.”

“Crazy out there tonight. On a Monday. Weird.”

“I was thinking that too, but university is starting up again soon. Maybe we have a lot of visitors in town.”

“Could be.”

Wren is calling out orders and orchestrating the chaos of a busy kitchen, and I study Ridley’s face as he stares at his man with heart eyes. The ever-present jealousy stabs my chest. I’m happy for my friends, of course, but damn, do I want that for myself.

My problem is I am in love—insanely, head over heels in love—and I have been for the better part of twenty years. I just fell for a person who has zero interest in love and romance with me.

“What’s going on with you?” Ridley asks, bumping my arm with his. “Missing your other half?”

“Basically, yeah. I’m worried. The guy he’s meeting up with isn’t my favorite person.”

“We picked up on that. What’s his deal?”

I shrug. “He seemed like he was really into Jerr at first, and that he might be different from a lot of guys Jerr went out with. He was romantic and sweet. He was understanding of some personal things.” The more I tell the story, the more annoyed I get.

“But then he started showing a lot of controlling signs. He didn’t want Jerr spending so much time with me.

He told Jerr that he thought I was into him. ”

“Into who? Him or Jerr?”

“Jerr. There was a lot of tension between us for a while because of it. I backed off because I only want what’s best for Jerr, you know?”

Ridley nods. “Yeah.”

“It sucked. I wasn’t spending time with my best friend, and he was navigating this new relationship alone.”

“How did it end?”

“Jerryn decided…” I pause. This is the hard part.

It’s Jerryn’s private issue, one I promised I would never share with anyone else.

“Jerryn shared something with Alec, thinking he would be supportive and understanding, and at first, he was, but as time went on, he became less understanding and he got hurtful about it.”

Ridley nods, and I can tell from his expression he wants to ask, but he already knows I won’t answer him. “That blows.”

“It does. Jerryn eventually got tired of it and broke things off, and then Alec was a total dick. That’s the real reason I’m not excited that he reached out. All I can think is he realized what he lost and he wants another shot.”

“Or he’s being polite because he’s in the same city.”

I shrug.

“My dude, why don’t you stop torturing yourself and just fucking tell him?”

“Tell him what?”

“That you’re in love with him. He obviously doesn’t know, but what if he did?”

“You don’t think I’ve considered that? What if it makes him uncomfortable around me and I lose what we have now? Not everything works out perfectly like it did for you and Wren.”

Ridley shakes his head, bright pink hair catching the light.

“You don’t think I had this same dilemma with Wren?

I wasn’t supposed to fall. We agreed it was physical and nothing else.

Imagine my surprise when I realized I went and caught feelings.

You don’t think I was fucked up over that and figuring out what to do next? ”

“Okay, fair, but Wren wasn’t your best friend of twenty years.”

“No, he wasn’t. Which is why you should feel way more comfortable talking to Jerryn.”

“Moby Burger, medium-well, up,” Wren says, pushing the plate across the stainless steel counter to me. “Fries in thirty seconds.”

I grab the plate, placing it on my tray. “I don’t know where to start. I don’t think he even sees me that way.”

“Way I see it, you can keep pining away, or you can help him see you that way. Become boyfriend material, man.”

“Boyfriend material,” I repeat, almost to myself. “Like… romance him?”

“Fuck yeah. Court him. You want to be his man, show him you already are. I’m guessing you two have never talked about this?”

I shake my head. “It’s been a long time. Not since we were still in school. We decided then that there was too much at stake because I was nothing but a whore back then.”

Ridley chuckles. “Might be time to revisit the subject.” He pats my back. “Maybe—and I’m going out on a limb here—maybe Jerryn has some unexpressed feelings too. Give him a safe place to show them. Take a chance, man.”

My fries are up, so I add them to the tray too. “Thanks, man.”

“Anytime.”

As I deliver the food, the conversation bounces around in my head. Could I become the man of Jerryn’s dreams? Should I try? I know him better than I know myself. I know what his hopes and dreams are. I know his hang-ups and why dating is hard, and I accept everything about him.

I’d just have to be brave enough to step up and show him that we’ve both been looking for something we already have.

When I look up, my gaze lands on Indy and Salem at the order station, Indy hugging Salem from behind and tickling him while he giggles.

I search the restaurant for Kit, finding him at the host station, laughing and talking with Stewart.

Next I spot Oakley sitting on a stool at the bar, eating his favorite chicken wings while Lowen lingers, gazing at his man like he hung the moon.

Could Jerryn and I have what our friends do if we just took a chance on moving past friendship into something more?

The thought makes my stomach flip and my heartbeat speed up.

How many nights cuddling on the couch have I wished I could just kiss him and tell him how incredible he is?

How many times have I wanted to invite him to sleep in my bed so I could hold him?

How many times, after another failed date, have I wanted to tell him that I don’t need anyone else?

It’s the sex thing that’s going to be hard to overcome. For him more than me. I’ve already been not having sex for four years, and I’m doing fine. If I could convince Jerryn that it’s not an issue, maybe he could open his heart in new ways.

The idea of it, of romancing my best friend, lights me up. Is that a sign that I should take the chance? Where would I even start? I’m not exactly known for my romantic side.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and open a group text with all the guys.

Me: Mini team meeting. Five minutes in the office. It’s important.

I smile as my friends all look at their phones. I need backup, and if I know anything, it’s that these guys have mine and Jerryn’s backs.

I head to the office and wait as everyone files in. Even Wren pops in from the kitchen.

“I’ve made a decision, but I need your help because I’m freaking clueless and I can’t screw this up.”

“What’s going on?” Indy asks.

As I take a deep breath, a sense of rightness and purpose settles in my chest. “It’s about time I step up and do the damn thing I should’ve done years ago.

I’m in love with Jerryn, and I’ve decided it’s time he knew that.

I want to romance him, but I have no clue where to start. Can I count on you guys?”

Salem bounces on his toes. “Oh my god, I love this.”

Ridley grins. “Hell yeah, we’re in. Right, guys?”

I get a chorus of agreement from everyone.

“This is awesome,” Kit says, glancing at Stewart, who nods.

“Fully supportive,” Lowen says as Oakley gives me a thumbs-up.

Salem claps his hands once. “Operation Woo Jerryn is on.”