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He meets my gaze, his expression softening. “Really?”

“Really.” I brush my thumb across his cheek. “I want to know the answer too.”

He looks nervous, but there’s a glimmer of happiness there now. “You want to kiss me?”

I nod, deciding to be brave with my next statement. “Always have.”

Surprise registers on his face, but he smiles. “I’d like to try. I don’t know if I’ll react the right way.”

“Your way is the right way, Jerr.”

He searches my eyes and his expression softens. “I’ll try to remember that.”

“Do you want to sit down again?”

“Sure.”

Taking his hand in mine, I lead him back to the sofa and sit across from him. His nerves pour off of him, but I know him well enough to recognize it when he’s doing something he doesn’t want to do, and I can tell he definitely wants to do this.

“Want me to take the lead?” I ask and he nods readily.

“Please.”

My nerves kick in finally. I have permission to do the thing I’ve wanted to do a million times over the years. I want to make it good for him, comfortable, so maybe if I’m lucky, he’ll want to do it again.

I start with my hand on his neck, gently pulling him toward me to close the space between us.

He shuts his eyes and parts his lips, inviting me without words, and I press our lips together.

As much as I want to explore his mouth, I keep it pretty chill, dotting his soft lips with sweet kisses, noting his reaction and body language.

Then the moment happens when he lets go and relaxes into me, his hands moving to my thighs as he opens his mouth slightly. I flick my tongue over his lips and his breath hitches as his fingers scratch against my pajama pants.

I slide my hand from his neck into his hair, smiling into the kiss. His hair is soft, just like his skin, and his kiss, though tentative, is the sweetest there is.

He pulls back abruptly, gazing at me with flushed cheeks. Is he about to freak out?

“Kiss me the way you kiss other people,” he says, surprising me. “You’re being gentle.”

“Who says I’m not always gentle?”

“I’ve seen you kiss.” He licks his lips, the action drawing my eyes. “Kiss me like that.”

“Say less.”

I pull him close again, claiming his mouth without the brakes in place. Jerryn drapes his arms over my shoulders, scooting in until his chest almost touches mine, so I bravely put my hands on his ass and tug him up until he’s on my lap.

He makes a whimpering noise but doesn’t try to get away. No, instead he relaxes into me, opening his mouth. I seek out his tongue and lick it, finally tasting the man I’ve dreamed about most of my adult life.

My dick comes to life, and as much as I want to grind against him, I keep enough space between us to avoid that. I’m not pursuing sexual release, and I don’t want him to think for even a second that I am. I’m simply enjoying his kiss and the feeling of his body in my arms.

But then he shifts, grinding against me for a second, and his breath hitches again as he tangles his fingers in my hair. I don’t know where he’s taking us, but I’m damn sure along for the ride.

His hands roam down my back and up again until he moves them to my chest where he squeezes my pec muscles.

“Bane,” he whispers into the kiss.

“Yeah, babe?”

He tilts his head back, breaking the kiss but silently offering his neck to me. I kiss along the column of his throat, sucking briefly on his prominent Adam’s apple before nipping the edge of his jaw.

“Oh,” he moans. “Wow.”

“What’s going on?”

He shakes his head, burying his face in the crook of my neck.

I hold him close, rubbing his back and letting him process what just happened.

My dick is so fucking hard right now, but I don’t want him to know that.

Unfortunately, he wraps himself around me like an octopus, so there’s no way he can’t feel it.

He doesn’t move away though. Doesn’t panic.

Just lies against me, letting me hold him.

We stay like that for several minutes, just breathing and holding on to each other. I don’t know what he’s thinking or how I’ll get him to tell me, but this is the best night ever. How we got here is a mystery to me, but I’ll take it.

He lifts his head a few moments later, smiling sweetly at me as he searches my eyes. “That felt good.”

I nod. “Hell yeah, it did.”

“You liked it.” It’s not a question. “I felt you.”

“Yep. Kissing you was hot.”

He looks surprised by my statement, but he’s still smiling. “I wondered if we had that kind of chemistry between us. I needed to know.”

“How did it feel for you?”

His smile fades as his cheeks bloom pink once more. “Really nice. I can’t remember the last time I kissed anyone, but I’m sure it was never like that. Maybe because you know me so well. You were careful and respectful.”

“You deserve that.”

His teeth find his bottom lip again, but only briefly. “I have some stuff on my mind that I’m not ready to talk about yet.”

“Okay. I’m here when you’re ready.”

He nods, exhaling slowly. “One thing though.”

“Sure.”

He clears his throat. “Would you, um, ever…” He scrunches his nose and blinks a few times.

“What?”

“Would you do it again? I mean, did you like it enough to do more of it?”

“Would I kiss you again?”

Jerryn nods.

“Anytime you want, Jerr. I’d happily kiss you again.”

My answer doesn’t seem to make him happy.

“Even if it doesn’t lead to more? I don’t want to leave you hanging all the time, but I don’t know if I can?—”

“Hey. I don’t have any expectations of anything. I certainly didn’t see a kiss coming tonight, and you know I would never push you.”

“I know. That’s my concern.”

“I don’t get it.”

“I’m worried you’ll put my needs before yours and eventually resent me for that. Which I totally get. Kissing without anything else is probably annoying after a while.”

While I listen to him, I decide the only good response is a truthful one. “I’m not gonna lie and say I wasn’t turned on. I was. You turn me on, Jerr.”

His breath hitches as he listens.

“But I respect you and where you’re at. I can handle myself.”

Jerryn nods, looking down at his hands. “I liked it too. A lot.”

“Good.”

“And if it’s okay, I think I want to try it again.”

“Ball’s in your court, Jerr.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

He exhales slowly, glancing around the room. “I think I’ll go to bed now.”

“Do you want to stay? We can cuddle.”

“I want to, but I think it’s better if I don’t. I have a lot of things going on in my head now.”

“I get it.” I pull his hand into mine. “But remember something: I’m your best friend, first and foremost. If you wake up and decide kissing me is a bad idea, you can tell me. We can handle that together.”

“Thanks.”

He climbs off my lap, smiling as he runs a hand through his hair. I’m waiting for him to say something, but instead he bends down and kisses my cheek.

“See you in the morning.”

“Night, Jerr.”

Once he’s gone, I fall back against the couch cushions.

I don’t know what was happening in his head that led him to kiss me, but I’m sure not mad about it.

Maybe he can see me as an option, and all I have to do is keep proving to him that I’m the guy.

I can play the long game. I’ve already been at it for years, and now that I know Jerryn is the only one for me, I’m motivated to show him the same.

I click the TV off and head to bed, even though it’s far earlier than I normally hit the sheets. I’ll scroll on my phone until I get tired, even though my thoughts are stuck on Jerr and what he’s feeling just across the hall from me.

I hope he liked the kiss as much as he said he did, and I really hope he wants to do it again.

It felt so damn nice to have him in my arms like that.

I could definitely get used to it. All I can do now is hope Jerryn wakes up tomorrow without regrets and is still interested in pursuing more kisses with me.

Then I can woo him, get him to see I’m the one he’s been waiting for, and level up our relationship.

If that happens, I’ll be the luckiest man alive.